Readers' Submissions

Bangkok Don Juan, Part 2

This submission continues my series of diary entries followed by the parallel extract from my narrative poem, Bangkok Don Juan.



11th May 2005

Went out at 8 and went straight to Dollhouse where I saw the girl with the smile, #45, Big Smile (I was developing the habit of linking numbers to a verbal tag to help me remember something about them) who had been with another guy the night before. I also liked #21, Slender, who had a washboard-flat stomach and beautifully slender waist.

I seem to be developing a taste for a certain type of Thai girl, which in some ways surprises me because it is so different to my usual tastes. I usually go for the tallish, big-breasted, blue-eyed blonde of the Marilyn Monroe type. But now I find myself turned on by a slim waist and I don’t mind how small their breasts are. I like a face with strong Thai features, especially Thai eyes, and I like girly hair fashions – little pigtails, topknots, etc. I also like them a little shy.

I watched #45 for a while. I liked her slim body, which looked good in the blue and white ‘sailor suit’ uniform – a bikini with a short rah-rah skirt bottom. Several girls had no knickers underneath, but I couldn’t see whether she was wearing knickers or not. I liked the way she laughed and smiled with her friends, and she was a pretty good dancer. However, she yawned a few times, and often stopped dancing before the end of the song – so I wasn’t sure.

Went to Tilac . This bar has two stages so it was difficult to know where to sit to get a good view of them both – wasn’t impressed by the girls, so left. Had a look round Rawhide – not much doing, so went into Long Gun. Two girls were half-naked on the stage and were doing the water show. This was followed by a simulated lesbian show and a Hawaiian show in which two girls pulled seemingly endless strings of flowers out of their pussies. The shows are good – but not what I am here for. I prefer to see the gogo girls so I can make a choice.

Had to check out the glass ceiling again. By now the evening was in full swing and some of the girls upstairs were really going for it – spreading their legs as they danced. Phew! All those sweet little c**ts! I gazed for so long that I got a neck ache. The last time I did something similar was when I looked at the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel – and I know which I like best (am I pathetic or what?!? – surely high culture should move me more than high c**ts!)

Some of the girls were really skillful pole dancers. One of them flipped upside down and her navy blue school uniform skirt fell back revealing all. Another girl with beautiful breasts – full and soft, but not saggy – let her blouse fall open. I later her saw her sitting on the lap of a Japanese guy.

My neck must have been very sore by now, and I must have been rubbing it, because a waitress took pity on me and pointed out that the downstairs dance floor was a mirror through which you could see not only the girls upstairs, but up the skirts of the girls down below – so double-c**t-vision! What a place!

Then I saw the most beautiful Thai bargirl I have ever seen and she fitted all my developing tastes. She had a beautiful, oval face with large frank eyes and a warm smile. Her hairdo is difficult to describe but was elaborately plaited [there is a sketch of it in the diary]. She had small breasts, a waist to die for, a hard flat stomach and beautifully shaped legs. I noticed that she seemed to be spitting something into her hand and putting it into an ashtray in front of me.

I signalled her to come and talk to me, which she did as soon as she left the stage. I stroked her arms and back and we had the usual bargirl/farang conversation. This is so scripted, I could almost do it in Thai, and I’ve only been here 3 days!

‘What your name?’


‘Where you from?’


‘I love England.’ (or America, or Germany, or Timbuctoo, or wherever you say you are from).

‘You holiday how long?’

‘Two weeks.’

‘First time Bangkok?’

‘No.’ (lie – don’t want to be taken for a newbie, but I think they know anyway).

‘You buy lady drink?’


I asked her what she was chewing and she puts a handful of small nuts in my hand. Then she said she had to ‘go dance’ upstairs. I was a bit disappointed that she was one of the few girls to wear knickers – but then, she was so beautiful, she probably didn’t have to try too hard to get customers. She smiled down at me a few times and I grinned foolishly back.

I tried one of the nuts and found that, under the hard shell, was a green kernel. It was tasteless so I didn’t quite get the point of eating them. When she came back she showed me how to bite off the shell and spit it out. I couldn’t do it, so she did one for me – took it out of her sweet mouth and put it in mine – sexy. Funny, it’s the little things like that that are the biggest turn on!

Then she got down to business – did I want to barfine her? ‘Long time?’ I asked. ‘No, only short time.’ I was a bit put off. Her businesslike attitude, asking me to barfine her, and only willing to go short time were all signs of a bad attitude – she was obviously the kind of girl who could get as many customers as she liked and didn’t have to try hard. Very pretty – but not what I wanted – so I said ‘No thanks.’ She immediately went away to prey on some other poor sucker.

I paid the bill, but lingered a bit and caught sight of a girl with a nice smile – enhanced, not marred, by a slightly crooked front tooth (#22, Toothpaste). Again, she was my ‘new type’ – slim, petite, smallish breasts.

I signalled to her and she came over to me when she left the stage. She told me her name was Nam. I bought her a lady drink and we had the usual conversation, but she was pleasantly touchy-feely, and I felt some of the chemistry I had been looking for. I asked her if Long Time was OK and she agreed, so I paid the barfine and it was off to the Dynasty Inn.

She came out of the shower wearing her towel, but dropped it to look at herself in the mirror. She expressed dissatisfaction with her body – particularly her small breasts and slightly plump stomach. Actually, it didn’t look plump at all by Western standards. It is interesting that these bargirls can have these hang ups about body image – especially when you see the state of some of their customers!

She was a lucky choice – wonderful in bed. I was treated to the first blowjob for what seemed an eternity. Afterwards she settled down to sleep with her forehead against mine and maintained body contact throughout the night – which I appreciated as much as the sex because my wife has not shared my bed for many years.

I woke in the first light of dawn to experience for the first time in my life something I have read about on Stickman – the sight of a Thai girl’s head on the pillow – heaven! She awoke soon after and gave a repeat performance, but then seemed eager to get away. I was a bit disappointed as I kept forgetting that she was not my girlfriend – just a paid prostitute (that word seems so inadequate to describe what these girls give!). I paid her, and she left without a parting kiss. When I looked at the clock I saw that it was only 7.

I got over it fairly quickly. She had been just the right girl for that night – couldn’t have been better – yet if she had gone GFE (Girlfriend Experience) on me, I would probably have got carried away and fallen in love.

Later that day, I found she had left a souvenir behind – one of her beautiful, fine, long black hairs clinging to my hairbrush (the hair is still in the diary).



Cupid and Chang

In which Jim wrestles with the conflicting delights of women and wine, gets it wrong again, and is saved by a shy but imaginative young lady. 

NEXT night Jim set out with a resolution:
No alcohol (Cupid and Chang[1] don’t mix).
It only brings about the dissolution
Of sexual prowess – yet a drink would fix
His concert nerves. Yes, that was the solution:
Just one Chang Draft, then only Coke for kicks.
Women and wine were his delight forever –
How tragic that they didn’t go together!

He started with the Dollhouse Happy Hour –
My, but they were pretty girls in there!
He saw a girl he liked, a very flower
Of femininity – but didn’t dare
To speak to her. He feared he’d lost his power
Of potency following last night’s scare.
He gulped his Chang and felt a little better
‘I’ll come back later on,’ he thought, ‘and get her.’

Long Gun bar was next. He liked the girls,
He liked the music – classic rock ’n roll,
He liked the show – the one where she unfurls
A chain of flowers from her pussy hole.
He saw two girls – two oriental pearls –
But thought it would be safer on the whole
To wait a bit – and so on, till midnight
And still no girl – and closing time in sight!

A desperate dash to try another bar.
It wasn’t on his list, but never mind –
They’re all the same – not quite – but similar.
Another Coke, another chance to find
That very special girl – that superstar –
Who’d understand his jitters and be kind.
Did such a girl exist? He didn’t know –
But there was only half an hour to go!

Back to the Dollhouse, but his girl had gone.
Back to Long Gun,  they had been barfined too –
And then the house lights of the bar came on –
The night was over – what was he to do?
An early night perhaps? He would have none
Of that – sleep solo in Bangkok! Would you?
He braced himself, and though he was no chancer,
Went to the Thermae to look for a freelancer[2].

He didn’t get much further than Asok[3]
When a siren voice called out: ‘I go with you?’
He turned around and got a nasty shock –
She looked about his own age – fifty-two.
He knew he could do better in Bangkok
Or what’s the point of all the miles he flew?
But next to her, a girl, young and compliant,
Sat shyly. ‘Mmm,’ thought Jim, ‘I’ll be her client.’

Her name was Nam. It was her first week there
And this gave Jim the confidence he needed.
He liked her button nose, her eyes, her hair,
Her tiny waist, the way that she succeeded
In making him feel free from every care –
And so much so that every doubt receded:
He took her to the Thermae for a drink
And had two Singhas – fool – he didn’t think!

Later, when the shower routine was over,
She stood there, shyly, with her towel in front,
‘Come here,’ said Jim, ‘Please don’t be shy, my lover,’
As he embraced her with a sexy grunt.
‘Take off that towel. I want you to uncover
Your tits, your ass, and most of all, your c… cute waist.’
He pushed her on the bed and jumped on top
But at the door he felt his manhood drop.

‘But for those beers it would have worked out fine!’
Wailed Jim, but Nam was not short of ideas:
She squirmed around and gave him 69.
That furry faceful shocked away his fears,
As did the blowjob – that was just divine –
The only one he’d had for many years.
And then it didn’t matter what he’d drunk up –
He got so hard it almost made him sp… spoil the fun too soon.

They bonked all night, they bonked all the next day –
Jim thought that he had died and gone to heaven.
He never thought that sex could be this way.
No, not when he had first got married, even.
She had to leave at last. ‘What shall I pay?’
He said. ‘One thousand baht.’ He gave her seven.
With humble gratitude he watched her go
Still basking in the sexual afterglow.





1 Chang: ‘Chang’ means ‘elephant’ in Thai. It is another brand of Thai beer. It is most the most common happy hour beer. In 2004/5, a Chang draft happy hour beer cost c. 50 baht.

2 Freelancer: a freelancer is a girl who is not employed by a bar. It can be cheaper to go with a freelancer (because there is no barfine to pay) but riskier, because there is no way of tracing them if anything goes wrong.

3 Asok: This is the skytrain station nearest to Soi Cowboy, a favourite hangout of freelancers and ladyboys.

The author of this article can be contacted at : [email protected]