The Unconventional Adventures of a Straight Woman in Bangkok
I don’t know about you but when I went on Google and searched for ‘escort club for women Bangkok’, I get results for female escorts, sexy girls and go-go bars. There were not many leads online on where to get a good time for a straight woman. Bangkok is renowned for its shopping but to me personally, I see Bangkok as a bustling city filled with hidden gems at every unseen corner. I have to agree that shopping is great but there is so much more than that.
Bangkok – A Shoppers’ Paradise?
It was November, and I was on my long break. As a math teacher, my fellow colleagues’ idea of a fun getaway includes a shopping escape to Bangkok followed by a spa day and a feast afterwards. It was pretty typical and predictable but I obviously wanted more. When I told them I booked a solo flight to Bangkok, they instantly assumed I was there for the shopping and the massages. I agreed because well firstly, to tell them I was heading there for a ‘good time’ is probably inappropriate and frowned upon as an educator. Heck, I am not even allowed to smoke.
When I thought my Google search was pointless, I came across a thread in a gay forum about male strip clubs in Bangkok and the fact that patrons could bring the guys back for a fee, of course. I was encouraged and decided to do a deeper search on that particular strip club. On its Google business page, it was labelled as a ‘gay bar’. What if the guys there are only interested in other guys? I was lazily browsing through the forum thread till I read a review. So apparently this man went to said strip club and was disappointed as the strippers there are mostly straight? I was puzzled. Then why establish the joint as a gay bar? I was curious, so I added it on my itinerary.
There were other options such as S&M dungeons that provide customised services but I just want to have a straight male companion for a couple of naughty nights.
Welcome to Bangkok
On my first night, I put on my lowest tank top, my ripped jeans from when I was a teen and my sneakers. I took a Grab to the place and it was a street filled with what it seems to be gay pubs. There were men of all ethnicity and age seated outside, not a woman in sight. I finally arrived at the front of the strip joint; it was towards the end of the lane. I was greeted by a couple of cute waiters clad in formal shirts with bow ties. “500 baht per entry, including free drink” – I paid and they escorted me in. It was dark and I walked in during what it seems like a fashion show but instead of models sashaying down the runway, it was half-naked men with a number attached to their briefs. As they walked, their bodies glistened under the spotlight. I swear I have never seen so many chiselled torsos before in my life.
I was seated in the middle, surrounded by other men. I sipped my gin and tonic and watch the men on the stage strut their package. A man, with the world’s most perfect brows, clad in a suit and tie, grabbed a stool and scoot towards me. He is one of the managers and he explained that I could choose whichever guy I want from the stage and invite them for a drink for 500 baht. They will sit next to me for a short while and I get to enjoy their company. But for 3000 baht, I can bring him home, if I like the guy. But first I had to pay the joint 500 baht as a fee to release their stripper. In his exact words: ‘He will take care of you.’ He touched my knee gently and asked me to enjoy, as the next show will be on shortly.
The shows are usually led by beautiful drag queens and these hunks will accompany the queens, gyrating and shaking their stuff. I paid attention to the show, having missed the previous one. A group of men clad in briefs walked out and started dancing to some 90’s number. Now I have watched Magic Mike maybe 2 or 20 times but seeing it in real life was definitely a different ride.
A guy caught my eye. He was slightly tanned, the tallest of the lot and had a rather adorable smirk. The manager was back and he asked me which one I want, I said the tall one. He apologised and said he was already booked for the night by another client. He reassured me that there would be other more attractive guys going on stage so I should keep my eyes peeled.
My New Friend
I told him I wanted someone tall and straight. He told me all of the guys are straight but I had my doubts. He asked me to watch out for two guys at the next show. Apparently they’re really handsome and popular with the ladies. I had another gin and tonic as the next show started. The manager still perched next to me, pointed out the two guys he was mentioning. They were indeed really handsome, obviously heavily influenced by the K-pop craze. With porcelain skin and similar hairstyle of the guys in BTS or something. But they were not my type; they were too clean and polished. Till this particular stripper went on stage. He had a tattoo and a nonchalant swagger. I did not know what attracted me to him at first. Was it his toned abs or the fact his hair is not perfectly styled? Or the fact that his face was rather symmetrical yet rough around the edges?
“Him,” I told the manager.
“You like bad boys eh.” He said with a wink and I shrugged.
He called the stripper and he sat next to me. I was petrified; I did not know what to do so I did what everyone would do when meeting someone for the first time. I extended my hand and asked for his name. I used my alter ego’s name of course, as did he, I was sure. He asked for a drink, I think it was coke, and I thought wow I paid 500 baht for a half-naked man to drink coke next to me. So he put his arm around me and I actually relaxed. We continued watching the show, in awkward silence, sipping our respective alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.
His first language was not English so we had a couple of weird exchanges where he would shake his head politely and me scratching mine figuring out how to reword my sentences. I gathered these facts: he is of the same age as me, he is straight and he likes sports- of course, I would pick the jock.
The manager came between us and asked me whether I would like to take him home. I agreed so I paid him the release fee and the half-drank coke my new friend ordered. The manager asked for a tip so I passed him 100 baht. I waited for my friend or my escort- till today I am unsure of the PC term to refer him.
He walked out, fully dressed, in a tight top and sweatpants and I laughed at the hilarity of this all. I escaped to Bangkok to meet someone I do not usually meet but here I am with someone who is a close replica of the guys I usually date back home. He was not tall at all, but tall enough. We walked out of the strip joint and held hands. As we walked past the row of men sitting by the gay pubs, I noticed some stares and it felt good. I had a snack on my arm.
We went to a go-go bar- a strip club with female strippers- mainly because I wanted to watch the girls. We went to this club filled with girls in school uniform dancing on the bar top. I got myself a drink and offered my new friend a drink but he said he was riding so he should not drink. We had a conversation about his bike and I showed him photos of my vehicle back home. The alcohol was getting to me, I should not have had beers in my hotel room before heading out. I was buzzing nicely and it seemed like girls were trying to make their moves on my friend but I wrapped my legs tighter around his. It felt great, owning a hot piece of ass and watching everyone else eyeing him.
Since this was my first time going out with an escort, I had no idea what was the protocol. Is it like the movies where no kissing is allowed? Or is chargeable? I had so many questions and there was not really a manual for this. So I took out my phone and opened my Google translator and typed, “Am I allowed to kiss you?” He looked at me with a crooked eyebrow and we kissed in front of all the strippers.
We took a cab back to my hotel and I asked him if he wanted to eat. He jokingly said, “I will eat you later.” God, I love Bangkok.
When we reached in my room, he took a shower and that was when I thanked the stars I was not too drunk to function. In my drunken stupor, I remembered counting his abs and telling him how nice he was. We laid in bed for a bit, post-coital, his hands in mine; it was almost too intimate so I brought him to the living area to watch TV and smoked. We had a chat about sports and I had visual aids to facilitate the conversation. He told me he had to go so I handed him 3,000 baht. I offered to call a cab for him but he said it was fine. He told me to call him tomorrow evening if I need company and I just nodded.
The next night, I wanted to try something else- preferably the tall tanned guy from the previous night. I went to the same joint and was greeted by the same faces and the same manager. I ordered the same drink, sat the corner instead and watched the show, looking for my next friend. And there he was again, the same bad boy from the previous night. I tried to look away, hiding behind my drink but he saw me from the stage. He hopped off and walked towards me. He sat next to me, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek playfully. Damn it. Other patrons were looking at us and again, I felt this odd feeling of happiness just because a stripper recognised me from the night before. Yes, I have serious issues.
The manager asked me if I’d want the same arrangements as last night. I asked the stripper – my friend – if he was game and he nodded even though he said he has a prior booking. He would rather spend the night with me – no, I did not believe him. For all I know he said that to make me feel special. It did work though – I felt special.
This time, I want to go clubbing so we went to a local high-tier nightclub. I might have spent too much on the entry fee and drinks but again, I was really not in the best state of sobriety. The DJ was spinning my favourite tracks and I was immersed with the beats, too immersed until I paid no care to my friend. He was around though, keeping me balanced and safe. But it was clear that this – raving to EDM – was not his cup of tea. Although I do applaud him for trying.
He suggested for us to eat because I was slowly reaching the tip of my drunkenness. He paid first for the street food but I gave him the money anyway. I was taking him out tonight and he should not be paying for anything.
When we were back in our room, I tried getting in the mood but I was too tired and too drunk so I told him, “Sorry, tonight I don’t want.” He nodded, got under the covers and asked me to join him. So we slept (he slept, I was still buzzing) for 4 hours before waking up. He told me he had to leave as he had something in the morning. I passed him 3,000 baht for his time although I did not get any action. This was a business transaction and I plan to honour it. I had a flight to catch in the evening so I popped some melatonin pills and crashed after he left. My sheets smelled like his stripper perfume and the pillows had stains of concealer – not mine. He was such a good boy.
I was on Tinder when I was at Bangkok and I could meet a couple of guys that were both locals and tourists but there is just something about paying for companionship, instead of settling for a random one-night-stand. The fact that you are paying for the service, you are fully in control. With a rando, you will never know what to expect. Strings may be attached. Things may follow you back home. Sure, it is basically cost-free to meet an actual person from Tinder but will they be able to handle my crazy? Will they be able to understand that this is just a one-time transaction? Maybe it was just my luck but I have had really bad experiences with men who said they were DTF (down-to-fuck) or were fine ONS (one-night-stand).
All in all, I did what everyone expected me to do. I did have a traditional Thai massage, I did some shopping that took barely 15 minutes and I had a feast (I have photos). But aside from all that, I uncovered things during this trip. Firstly, I am nothing but predictable in my taste in men. Secondly, it’s 2020 and guess what – women are horny too. There should be an easily accessible and user-friendly directory of straight male escorts for us. Preferably something that accepts PayPal (this is a long shot, but why not go cashless?). And lastly, I should speak to someone regarding my issues.
So now for the most important part of the article- the price breakdown.
Entry fee: 500 baht (includes 1 free drink)
A drink: ~ 170 baht (gin and tonic)
Buy a guy a drink: 500 baht (he’ll sit and chat with you for a bit)
The fee to bring a guy home: 500 baht (payable to the manager)
Tip the manager: ~ 100 baht
Paying the guy for the night: 3.000 baht
Total: 4,770 baht
So there you have it, for a night of mindless fun, I spent almost 5,000 baht. And I spent two nights so that was almost 10,000 baht. Will I do this again? Probably. Will I try to get with the same guy? Probably not.
Oh well, till next time Bangkok. Your charm and quirks never fail to amaze me.
– Aubrey, 26,
The author of this article cannot be contacted.