Readers' Submissions

Bargain Bonk

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 6th, 2019
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

When I read Stick’s column from 14.07.2019, I had to grin to myself. It brought back memories from my last trip to Thailand in October and November, 2018. And I will share some of these memories with you. But I will have to make a big detour – mostly to meet Stick’s minimum of 800 words, partly because I’m enjoying to tell a story.

My first trip to Thailand was in 1995 with two friends, and I was turning 30 that year. I was neither shy nor a child of sadness. But I had absolutely no experience with P4P. Thailand took my virginity in this field without much effort…

My second visit to Thailand wasn’t until 2006. At the beginning I spent 2 nights in Bangkok on my way to Cambodia, and at the end of my journey there were some days on Koh Chang and 2 more nights in Bangkok. Since that time I come back to Thailand almost every year, mostly as a starting point to explore South-east Asia. But always spending some time in Thailand, from 5 days to three weeks.

But in all that time I never developed a real liking for the gogo scene. On my first visit my friends took me to Patpong. The shows were unbelievable, and it was really fun. I will spare you the details except one: One of the dancers probably saw the expression on my face. And when she did the banana show, she aimed at me. And she aimed well! The banana shot past my right ear at a distance of maybe 5 centimeters. I will never forget it and you can’t imagine how much fun my friends had.

Whenever I visited a gogo later it was boring compared to that first experience. I had seen all a man has to see, and so I stopped visiting gogo bars completely. By the way, I think I hold a world record. I spent 2 x 3 nights in Pattaya, and I never had anything to do with a bargirl / beer bar girl / massage girl. On the other side I was never shy to take a freelancer to my hotel – if she was friendly, pleased my eye and asked for an acceptable price. So I was always looking for the bargain bonk.

At the end of 2010 there was a big change in my life. I felt in love with a German girl and – lucky me – she fell in love with me. The relationship is strong to this day. But that brought some change in my yearly routine. She had no objections to my travelling to South-east Asia and the journeys continued. I told her honestly about the former years (it was the only meaningful thing – she is neither prude nor stupid). But I told her too that- due to her, I had developed in to a most honourable man. And that was true, because I lost a big part of my interest in freelancers.

O.k., maybe it was 90% true. What do you do if you are sitting in the now torn-down Walkabout in Phnom Penh and an old acquaintance approaches you and tells you that you are still very handsome and she has no money and the old buffalo is sick? I think most of you know the situation and know the solution too… But nevertheless there were years I had no encounters at all (it’s not so difficult if you are travelling in rural parts of Laos or Cambodia).

But fast forward to the asking prices of 2018. I arrived in Bangkok afternoon of 19.10.2018, staying in the Dynasty Inn in Sukhumvit soi 4 as I always do. I just love the people watching (even if the Golden Bar has gone) and the craziness on the street and watching the girls at 2:00 AM as they leave Nana Plaza and so on. It was still low season, and I believe that the prices were due to the fact that the girls had real trouble to make ends meet.

In the evening I intended to stroll down soi 4 in the direction of the Tobacco Monopoly and have a look at how things had changed. I didn’t get very far. In a corner near Nana Disco or whatever it is called today stood a good-looking girl. It is difficult to rate a girl because everybody has a certain style they like. But to give you an impression, I would rate her as 7+. She was a little bit shy, but her smile was relentless. I chatted with her and eventually asked for the price. She said 1,000 baht, and I was a little bit shocked. The last time I had heard this number was some years earlier. She was more than friendly, and let’s call it a short time GFE.

The next evening I intended to walk to Sukhumvit and have dinner. I met a ladyboy with enormous cleavage. I’m not really in to ladyboys, but I’m in to breasts and couldn’t keep my eyes off them… He asked for 2,000 baht. I said I´ll have dinner now. He / she lowered the price to 1,000 baht and I thought why not? Was not so pleasant as the evening before but still o.k… The next day I took a flight to Phnom Penh to spend 3 days and meet my best friend on the last day.

The first day I walked really hard, took some drinks at the riverside, and at 10:00 PM I was tired and a little bit boozed but still not ready to go to bed. So I sat down in a bar in Rue Pasteur (or Street 51) for a last beer. Ordered and then had a look at the people who sat in the bar. And there she was, ticking all they boxes. Imagine a maybe 30-year-old girl with long brown hair, a beautiful face, slender, but the right things in the right places, and best of all, she had the broad lips and the broad smile Julia Roberts is famous for. Have you ever thought about having a 30-year-old Asian Julia-Roberts-lookalike in your hotel room? I certainly hadn’t, but the feeling of tiredness and booze disappeared at once. She, professional as she was, saw my look at once, and some minutes later she was drinking on my bill. The asking price was 30 US$, and I thought that was very cheap for the experience.

Then I was travelling to Sukhothai, to Surat Thani, to Krabi and back to Bangkok. There I had another 1,000 baht ST-GFE. So, the bargain bonk still exists. And in my opinion the GFE still exists, too. I have to admit: My really best GFE was 1995. But my second and third best GFE were in 2018. Hey guys, that was a wonderful journey! And it was not only because of the girls.

Wish you all the best!

The author of this article cannot be contacted.