Paying For It
You are right about paying for it and my ex Thai wife still tries to do it, even though we are divorced.
When I think back, I always had to pay. It started from when I had to buy her out of the bar where she was mamasan, which is a rip off and she probably took half of the 10K baht.
Over the years it became more and more.
She demanded xxx amount from my salary and fought me over any bonuses, regardless of my finances. Discussion was not possible.
After I brought her to the west she expected me to pay for everything. She never worked [ok our son was small in the beginning] but she got child support and money from me which all disappeared in to what I call the Thai fund. As far as housekeeping was concerned, or cleaning the cooker, it never happened. She came to me one day when the rings were not working and after opening it up I realised she had used so much oil it had seeped through and burned the wiring! She just did not care and expected me to buy a new cooker.
Not one ounce of partnership or support from her, only take and put away for her Thai fund. My flat was open to buy 5 years ago. I just got the current value and it has increased by 100K Euros which we could have shared if she had ever been a wife, other than in name only. But she offered no help. I think she laughed [even when our son was older and she could work]. So without enough for the mortgage and debts through her, I gave up.
At that time land was bought by the old airport. I once argued with her when I brought her to the airport and I saw her bag was full of 50-euro notes. She had never worked. Not once would she dip in to her own pocket.
She always denied it, but she systematically robbed me during our marriage by threatening to take my son to Thailand. Money had always been borrowed or came from elsewhere but it was in fact the child support and part of her housekeeping. A tidy sum over the years.
On trips to Thailand I had to give the same housekeeping money as at home, and pay for everything including the flight, hotel, food etc.
Then there was the gold. Apparently every year she should upgrade her gold as 2 baht was not enough. Payment for her sitting on her ass all year round and doing very little except cooking Thai food. This gold which I thought I gave my wife as a present soon disappeared and got changed into other gold so I stopped that as for me it was a one-off.
When we divorced she stole my Thai gold ring valued at 8,000 baht. Then there was the time her daughter died and she needed to bury her so I paid for the trip but she came back to life suddenly and madam got a face lift!
I learned early on the food trick. It goes like this: Farang is at the family home and about 10 family members are there. Farang is asked if he wants to eat and after saying yes, suddenly food is ordered for everyone and guess who pays? The farang! So I stayed in my hotel got drunk with her brother and took in the nightlife and avoided the family after that.
Before we divorced she got a job in a Thai restaurant but never paid towards anything, always claiming poverty. Again in an argument, a pile of 50-euro notes fell out of her bag while at the same time I was struggling to pay for everything. During the divorce she stopped work so she could get the maximum alimony.
Now, thank God, I am divorced and my son chose to live with me as his life would be screwed as well. She asked if he is working yet as he has not spoken to her in 4 years and is almost 17. She has no interest his study or education but she saw some friends of his already working and I know where this is going – she wants to take money from her own [email protected]
Now she has a new, older boyfriend, I heard, and just visited Bangkok with him. 3 guesses who paid for everything. She is working again in the massage parlour she said she would not work at. This on top of what she is scamming from the boyfriend and alimony from me for 12 years. Always complaining, but always really lazy. Her family now lives in nice apartments and she as always is only interested in herself and money.
This is not a relationship. For her it was a sport, getting me to pay while she never paid a thing. I’m not sure it’s a Thai thing. Not all Thai women are like that and I don’t want to generalise. She actually had the cheek to phone the last few months asking if I could pay her alimony early as she needs the money but I told her to get lost this month.
The final straw was the last trip to Bangkok in 2011. We missed the flight as she had overweight baggage of old clothes she expected me to pay. She or her family could sell it all in Bangkok. That joke cost me a day of my holiday and 600 Euros to fly the next day. She just shrugged her shoulders and no chance she would pay.
After that we went to Pattaya and she took her two daughters, aged 15 and 16. Apparently she was entitled to a night of booze on me and decided to dress her daughters up in bright red lipstick and get them drunk in a bar with hookers and horny johns. Can you believe that? I walked away with my son in disgust.
That was it for me. My son was 12 so I made a deal with him and had a nightmare divorce. Her pet name for me was Cheap Charlie BTW.
Oh I’m so happy I’m divorced and I don’t miss Thailand. I can cook Thai dishes and visited the Philippines and Japan last year. Pinays are nice, same same but different.