Narrowing it Down – Ignorance is Bliss
I consider myself a seasoned monger. A monger's monger who likes to pay for play. I was a natural to the local scene of the '90s in my country (and I will elaborate on that) and I can definitely sum up my mode of operation in 5 words: look, choose, pay, perform, tip. Therefore Thailand presented so much cognitive dissonance for me that I can only be amazed that I championed through my visits in the '90s and early 2000s without bothering to read one paragraph on the intricacies of Thailand naughty life.
Not that familiarizing myself with so much of Stickman's content helped (it did help by providing a broad overview of the industry and the mechanism of its operation) but when it boils down to it, I have no business chatting up prospective candidates for the night, playing pool with them, nor should I be drinking with them or feeling them out in their bars. I am a look, choose, perform, get out kinda guy and this strategy worked out well for me in the 90s when the brothels were abundant, the eastern European beauties were plentiful, and my country was just starting to receive international attention to crack down on human trafficking.
Needless to say there are no more such brothels rife with country bumpkins straight from the Ukraine, Russia or Moldavia – and today if one wants this experience his only option is to try a local escort service (or visit those countries) but I also know that these trafficked ladies made a lot of money and set themselves nicely with houses when they went back home.
My experiences were so good in fact that some of the girls provided me with hot steamy kisses during lovemaking, one was even yelling at the papasan for extra time when he abruptly knocked on the door during a heated session to inform us that 'time's up'. Extra pampering and treats were provided especially when I called in for a lady via a service.
I had such great drunken sex in those days that I didn't even know I had it in me. DUI was a strange concept at the time and scooting around inebriated on my moped from one great session to the next is something I am sure I will not be able to replicate, even in Thailand – as Heraclitus said 'No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.'
Today with so much mongering web-based information stored in my cortex it seems that I am already overly analytical about my recent experiences and those to come. Whoever said that ignorance is bliss was spot on.
In my trip to LOS in the early 2000 I had zero knowledge of the industry, the locations of naughty spots yet sex was so abundant and natural that I am surprised I did not become a Thai addict throughout that decade but rather procrastinated the urge 15 years forwards. I got free sex from Thai women, I also paid for sex, I enjoyed it all – blissfully ignorant of what and how much is expected of me in return in monetary terms. Never knowing or bothering to care who these ladies were, where they come from, what are their motives and why am I so lucky in love.
Today when I am so conscious of these things and wish to do the right thing by way of the ladies, it seems that obtaining sex involves drafting a hypothetical Excel spreadsheet prior to indulging or should I say a Yes/No flowchart to guide me through my activities – that's how analytical I have become.
Today in my late 40s I have what I like to call a 'maintained relationship' with a sweet Isaan lady who is willing to play along. I term it a 'maintained relationship' because I am willing to maintain it by providing renunciations. I also put up with whatever comes along because I am only in Thailand for a month at a time and want to enjoy myself and enjoy my female company for that month. I am also learning about the concept of face and how this explains 80% of the idiosyncrasies that come along. I will definitely try to improve in the face department and play along even more smoothly in the future with my Thai sweetheart who I adore so much.
No more pontificating from my behalf about the realities of life, the practical way to get around, save money, get things done, etc – but rather smooth things along and strive for non confrontational communication and let her feel that she has a say in things. After all we are not married and I want to keep, or should I say 'maintain' the experience to be as good as possible for the benefit of both sides.