Stickman Readers' Submissions February 27th, 2016

What Happens To Bargirls When They Leave The Industry?

Let me share with you my experience of trying a relationship with a former bar lady…

I fell in love with a bargirl, blah blah, and brought her to my country as a tourist. 2 years later, the wheels were falling off (surprise, surprise). I later told her it was not working and we should part ways. I gave her about $500 at the airport and saw her off. I never saw her again.

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Numerous phone calls from her after that from Thailand saying how she needs money etc. were ignored. I did my bit in the relationship and it didn't work out. I never was bad to her, never did anything wrong by her. I tried to make it work, but it just didn't work out.

So where is she now? After 6 years of last making any contact with her, well, you wouldn't believe it. She lives in the same city as me with 2 kids, and no man. I found out from a friend of a friend of a friend. Lucky for me, she lives very far away and, unsurprisingly, in a bad part of the city. I wouldn't even invest in property there as an investment, that's how bad it is.!

So the question needs to be raised:

In the 6 years I never saw her…..

What was she doing?

Where did she get the funds to come back to Australia?

How in God’s green earth did she get another visa to come here when the last time I saw her at the airport it expired and I went out of my way with the authorities to say I do not have a relationship any more with this woman? And who are those kids?

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It brings me to a realisation after reading your column for 6 years and knowing Thai women for 8, that Thai bargirls are extremely street smart. They're generally smarter than the average farang. Unfortunately, many men won't admit this because of their ego.

She skimmed her way back in to the country by cheating the authorities, finds a man to get pregnant with, and has two kids (I've seen photos of her kids online and they're definitely mixed). So some poor sucker is paying for these children through child support.

As you said about New Zealand, many online forums talk about how to 'go about' the government system and beat it.

This is what ex-bargirls do, they cheat everyone in their lives including their own friends. I've seen it. They go through life, but they're street smart, so many end up doing ok. An ex-bargirl with 2 kids on government welfare in a farang country working illegally (probably in a Thai restaurant) could be earning good $.

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However, the downfall of it all is that basically they're damaged goods. If it’s not the alcohol, it’s the gambling. If not the gambling, then the drugs. If not the drugs, it’s constant demands from their boyfriend or family. It never ends. The dysfunctionality continues and it exists in many forms of life. They can't integrate in to regular farang society because they don't fit in and they will always struggle to do so.

It’s hard enough for a middle class Thai to integrate into western society, but imagine how it is for ex-bargirls? They've got no hope!

So my answer to the question of what happens to bargirls is that they go through life and some do well. (Remember Joy from Private Dancer? She ended up marrying an Aussie and living in Melbourne) not bad for a bargirl. But they all have some form of addiction and to put it nicely, they're all freaken' lazy. They really are. They will take the easy road all the time in life, not exactly making great wives and that all naturally results in divorces.

So how do I feel about my ex? Honestly, good luck to the bitch. Unfortunately there’s no nicer way to say it. She’s not a nice person and she probably manipulated a guy here to get herself pregnant to get what she wanted. I realise its his business and not mine, so all due respect I do wish her well.

What I don't like is the fact these girls then start claiming for government benefits which come out of taxes which hard working individuals like myself pay. I have no objection in paying my taxes but when I see how much I pay, it could probably substitute a person’s income for a whole year on unemployment benefits, and seeing it blown on ungrateful, manipulative people such as her who want nothing more than exploit my great land – I say deport her! That's my take on the topic.

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