My Experience With Thai Girlfriend’s Face
As a Thailand holiday veteran of many years and a big monger in my day, it recently changed. Here's my story:
I always come to Asia for 3 months a year and in 2014 was persuaded by a mate in England to bring him to Thailand which I did in October for only 2 weeks as an extra holiday for me. We did the girls and then I met my girl. She didn't speak much English, seemed pleasantly naive/demure but was good in bed with no tats. She had worked in the bar since March, was 28 years old but stunningly attractive and no doubt popular in the bar. I spent 4 days with her, returned to the UK and got back in touch with her to revisit her on my 3 month return on December 20th.
She met me in Bangkok as I requested, and we stayed 1 night then went to Pattaya where we checked in as a couple. I treated her well and fairly, giving her good face in front of her bar friends which cost me some money but I was happy to big her up. In February / March I rented a nice house, bought her out of the bar, told her to get her son to come and live with us and let's give it try.
She went to her Isaan village to see an ill grandmother so I suspected a potential scam, but grandma died so it wasn't. Weeks later her mom is at death's door (is this scam, I think?) so I visited her Isaan village with her. She really was at death's door, was in ICU and I feared it would all be on my tab. It wasn't and she died so we returned some weeks later for the funeral, all at no cost to me. We lived quite well thereafter; she didn't want money, saying I was taking care. It went well until one morning in May when she goes back to village; no discussion. We argued but I never learnt why, accepted it but became wary. Maybe I had always been wary?
I applied for a visa to take her UK. That failed and she moved out for 12 hours thinking I didn't love her enough to ensure visa success. I reapplied and we got it, went to the UK business class, returned and went to her old bar to big her up. She got drunk, had a small confrontation with the Thai DJ that I resolved in a Neanderthal way. We left without any explanation of what it was about. A week later, I returned to the bar to make apologies and amends. Seems said DJ had paid my girl 20k to be her boyfriend but apparently had been dumped when I came along and he wanted it back. Livid? I was apoplectic and tried to kick her out to no avail. I relented knowing her past is HER past that she would never share it with me; however, her past had become current because she lied about the confrontation.
We avoided the bar and my girl picked up an old school friend. Now, my girlfriend has never been anywhere without me in our 8 months together, but new friend encourages her to spend afternoons with her playing cards and my girlfriend subtly changes, almost unnoticeably. I phone, she doesn't pick up, and when finally she does there's no background noise and I let my wariness show. I text saying "I not believe!" Minutes later she's phoning saying she's on her way back. Angry, she is…I take that as guilt. She says I think she no good blah blah and after a night of her berating me (not me her!) she moves out in the morning saying "I not like Pattaya so go stay with baby!" Bye bye…I couldn't believe a girl would walk out of a middle class life of no money worries and a loving not straying partner who stupidly perhaps treats like a princess. Mates abound with scenarios… Thai boyfriend, back with husband, returning sponsor, high season approaching, etc.
I want her and return to her old bar to talk. Everybody knows I love her, treat her well and I talk to married farang regular who says "we think to much" and I think I start to get the Thai ethos, not just hear it but understand it. Girlfriend texts saying she misses me, I say (drunkenly?) come back tomorrow from Lampang and let's start again. Happy.
In the morning my girlfriend's new friend posts a Facebook picture showing her and my girlfriend dressed to kill and out in Pattaya. I knew it was recent as girlfriend has never been out at night without me. The new haircuts a further giveaway…. Gutted does not explain my feelings and I post the picture and message asking for explanation. I phone with no answer, I text, I Line message, Line phone like a stalker. At some point we talk and I say "I am flying to Lampang to get you, I love you.. so meet me at the airport at 4:00 PM". She can't meet me at that time she explains but will let me know what time later… My friend talks the options laughing how's she caught and can't get out of it. She texts back later saying she will meet me at 6:00 PM at the airport. Surprised (she's calling my bluff knowing I wont fly up there… how clever) I try phoning like a stalker again. I text saying "If you're not in Lampang, lets talk." I then discover, the flight from BKK to Lampang lands at 17:50 that night. Does she think I arrive at 16.00? All day I get no returned calls, texts, messages or anything.
At 4.00 I phone to say I'm not coming to Lampang but she cuts the ring off and turns the phone off. Absolute dis-respect…. it's over and there is no return. At 5.30 in the pub my mate says stop the pretences and tell her to meet you tonight here in Pattaya. I think, she boarded the Lampang flight hence the cut off and no signal? I post this request on her Facebook page telling her world I want her back. She will see she has blown it…
At 6:30 PM she phones in tears and says she is in BKK airport and will return to the house for a talk it through at 8.30. What? She can't be but she posts photos..but strangely there are airside and why still at the airport if she went to see if I got on the flight? Nonsensical until she arrives home for the reveal.
She left me because new friend said I don't love her as I give no money but clearly have money. I am treating her as toy to be discarded in the future. She doesn't answer my calls at cards for fear of losing face in front of new friend and goes to a quiet area so she doesn't know. So she tests me by leaving to see I chase her without getting a new girl from the millions on offer. Most farangs would have on my story I'm sure. She didn't go Lampang as she hoped I would chase her and get her back so why bother? New friend post picture to scupper things at the 11th hour? When I say I am going to Lampang to get her, she books flight knowing its the only one I can get (I got my flight times wrong), checks in for a public romantic reunion, ignores my calls for fear of an argument spoiling things. She waits airside at the gate until the she is the last passenger. I don't turn up, I phone so she cuts me off distraught. Gets suitcases offloaded to return to friend as there can be no reconciliation now. Then she thinks….friend not want me with boyfriend and I not like Pattaya so she now books the next flight to Chiang Mai which is close to Lampang. Then she gets the message to meet me so gets her bags offloaded again and returns. She is back.
Bottom line, she has a jealous new friend trying to scupper things for a drinking buddy and as a farang we think the worst. A combination of Thai-face, lying to avoid confrontation and stupid insecure and childish behaviour created a big problem that escalated… She didn't tell me she was leaving to stay in Pattaya as I would be scared so tried to give me peace of heart to find my love for her thinking she's with her son. Stupid. Very, very stupid but maybe she has learnt a little. For me, I flashed too much cash on frivolous things giving impression I'm still on holiday and will leave her when out of money, or, I have so much money I won't miss 1mTHB to rebuild her village house? Me also stupid. Especially when I was vague about village house but booked us a return business class flight to UK to watch a Liverpool game in December!! 250kTHB is better spent on the house, isn't it… I have been equally stupid trying to impress and ….well. I am equally stupid.
I have cancelled the December flights and will use this as a 1st installment on the house, with increments thereafter based on her good behaviour and recriminated love/respect.
Don't think to much, farangs. Don't spend too much. Face is everything.