Readers' Submissions

Beautiful Young Thai – Do You Have any Collateral?





Dear Stickman readers,

Today I would like to talk about the subjects of risk, security and collateral and how they relate to us as foreigners who are interested in long-term liaisons with the women, ladyboys or men involved in the naughty nightlife (or any Thai for that matter whether naughty or nice in the country of Thailand).

Let’s begin by thinking about banks, bankers, mortgages, collateral and borrowers.

A man is interested in buying a $350,000 house, he has a steady income, which is enough to qualify for a mortgage but only has $35,000 as a 10% deposit and he will require a mortgage of $315,000 to purchase the house. The bank is willing to loan the man $315,000 and the man will be required to pay back the loan with interest. The interest is the fee or rent that the bank earns on the money that they have loaned the man to purchase the house. The banker – smart man that he is – has come up with a number of strategies to increase the probability that he will have his capital repaid along with the interest that is his fee for loaning out his money and risking his capital.

Strategy 1: The banker will loan the money to the house buyer on the condition that the house is used as collateral or security for the loan. In the event that the borrower defaults on the loan and is unable to pay the banker back, the banker will sell the house to recoup his money.

Strategy 2: The banker tells the buyer that because he does not have a 20% deposit he will have to buy mortgage insurance. This insurance sounds like it is protection for the buyer but in fact it is protection for the banker as the banker is taking a higher risk in loaning money to a borrower who only has a 10% deposit. The borrower who requires a mortgage for 90% of the property value is a higher risk proposition than a borrower who has a 20% deposit and only requires a mortgage for 80% of the property value.

Strategy 3: The loan contract. The banker has a legally binding contract that sets out terms, stipulations and conditions that the borrower agrees to be legally bound by. This contract protects the banker and he has the full force of the law behind him in the event that the borrower defaults on the loan.

Let’s move on now to Thailand and the basis of my submission. I want to ask a couple of important questions to you, Mr. Farang, about your business – the business in Thailand that you are engaging in – a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand:


1. What collateral does your Thai love bring to the table?
2. What happens if your Thai love for whatever reasons, fails to uphold the basis of your long-term relationship understanding (or contract if you’re engaging in marriage)?
3. What strategies do you have in place to protect yourself in the event of default by your Thai love?
4. What protection do you have in place for your assets should your Thai love decide that you are no longer required?
5. What contract do you have in place to protect yourself?


Before we get to these questions, let's also consider some of the laws that the Thais have created because these laws affect you Mr. Farang and the business you are engaging in (a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand).

You as a foreigner:

a. Cannot own land in your own name.
b. Cannot own more than 49% of a Thai business.
c. Are restricted from running many businesses in Thailand.
d. <Insert here other applicable laws that the Thais have come up with to restrict you as a foreigner so as to create an environment where it is easy for you to spend money but very hard for you to make it in Thailand.>

Let’s get back now to our questions, Mr. Farang, about how you are protecting your business interests in Thailand:

1. What collateral does your Thai love bring to the table?

You are engaging or are seriously considering engaging in a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand. You and your Thai partner are both very much in love with each other. You, Mr. Farang, are older, highly educated and much wealthier and maybe just a little fatter than your Thai love. You bring a lot of collateral, assets and security to the table but your Thai love does not. She or he brings other – more intangible collateral in the form of youth and beauty but has very little tangible collateral, assets or security. You are willing to look past this minor issue of your partner having no security to protect you because you are in love and love conquers all – everyone knows that. So for this question your answer is $0: Your Thai love brings no security, assets or collateral to the table.

2. What happens if your Thai love for whatever reasons, fails to uphold the basis of your long-term relationship understanding or marriage contract?

You have been with your Thai love a few years now, the initial chemical high has worn off, routine has set in, you are increasingly arguing with each other and the relationship has become strained. It is getting harder and harder to keep things together. Your Thai love has had enough and wants out. You have both invested years of time and effort into each other but things are not working out. You of course purchased a house for your Thai love (she or he insisted on this). You and your Thai love live in it and it is in your Thai love's name, of course, because foreigners like you cannot own land in Thailand. You think that this house now needs to be sold since your relationship is almost over. Think again, Mr. Farang. Legally – the house is owned by your Thai love and they do not want to sell their house. You are stuck and have no legal recourse to get your money back – money that you spent buying your Thai love a house.

3. What strategies do you have in place to protect yourself in the event of default by your Thai love?

When you came to Thailand you sold your assets back in Farangland and brought your money with you. You spent some or most of it buying a house for your Thai love. You had no backup plan in place, no strategy to protect yourself if your Thai love left you for whatever reason. You are now facing the very real probability that you will have to get on a plane bound for Farangland. This fills you with dread but because you are out of money you have few other options. Going back to the West will mean you will probably have to submit to a job you don’t really want in a place you really don’t like much any more given your life in Thailand.

4. What protection do you have in place for your assets should your Thai love decide that you are no longer required?

You never considered that engaging in a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand could put you in such a perilous financial situation. You had no protection in place for your assets; you spent a lot of your money buying your Thai love a house. You failed to heed Briffault’s Law – the Rosetta Stone of women’s behaviour.

5. What contract do you have in place to protect yourself?

You have no pre-nup (those are not romantic – do they even have these in Thailand?) <Yes, they do – and they are both common and legally binding, so long as they are written up before marriage and lodged at the time of the registration of marriageStick>. You have no contract. If you did marry (your Thai love is a woman and not a man or a ladyboy) then the contract is most likely tilted heavily in your Thai love's favour (this is Thailand, remember, and you are a foreigner).

Our friend the banker would never have taken such high risks with his capital. His strategies are in place in order to increase substantially the probability that his capital will be repaid with interest together with strategies to ensure that if it is not – he will still get his capital back with interest. As a foreigner in Thailand engaging in the business of a long-term relationship with a Thai who has little to no collateral you are in a very vulnerable position. At least with the naughty nightlife $x is a known number and both parties are aware of the terms of this short-term agreement. Your downside risk is limited to losing a small amount of money if you have a bad time or if the Thai does not fulfil the terms of the agreement.

When you enter into a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand you are entering into a high risk scenario with little to no protection for your assets, where $x is unknown unless your Thai partner brings collateral to the table which is equal to or greater than the collateral that you bring to the table. Even then – you are still at the mercy of Thai laws and customs that tilt heavily in favour of the Thais (at your expense of course – this is Thailand, remember – never forget that you are a foreigner). Add to this the fact that you are both from very different cultures, have very different upbringings, have an age disparity in your relationship, a significant language barrier as well as having very different life experiences and you have a situation where your Thai love is essentially entering into a “heads I win, tails you lose” contract with you. Or more precisely – your Thai love brings no collateral or security to the table but has the balance of probabilities and the law heavily tilted in their favour so by engaging in a long term relationship with you – if it goes well – they win and get financial benefits, a house etc they would never have gotten on their own and if it goes bad they still win and get the house, financial benefits etc. They have nothing to lose and come out ahead regardless whilst you take all the risk! Remind me again who the more highly educated person in this scenario is? At the same time your nature as a man is conspiring against you. Your testosterone levels are declining and all you really want in your life is some peace and quiet – something that was taken from you long ago by the increasing levels of nagging, complaining and irritation you have experienced engaging in a long-term monogamous relationship. You want your freedom back but you know it is ‘cheaper to keep her’.



Unfortunately you also have other factors conspiring against you. It is highly likely that the reason you are in Thailand is that you have had a number of relationships with women back home that have not worked out successfully. You may be divorced or separated – perhaps a number of times now and this long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand is your third attempt at love, commitment and a long-term relationship. You should be aware that there is a very high failure rate of second and third marriages.

If the probability is 73% that third marriages in the West end in divorce – imagine what the probability is when you add in other factors like cross cultural misunderstandings, age disparity, language barriers, different countries, Thai business laws, inability to own land in your own name, different upbringings, the fact that you are a foreigner in Thailand and so on. I estimate that you are engaging in a business (a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand) with a failure probability rate of over 80%. If you are engaging with a Thai woman then hypergamy (marrying up) is likely the game she is engaging in. When I engage with women I make the assumption that if she is in my presence past the first date then I am 99.5% confident that I am richer than her or she has not yet had enough time to determine the size of my wallet. This assumption has never been proven incorrect in the 17 years I have spent dating and dealing with women (I am now 35 years old). If you are engaging with a ladyboy, well – I will deal with that in a future submission.

So – Mr. Farang – I have painted somewhat of a grim picture here but I do not think all is lost. There is much wisdom here on this site. Stickman is a leader who has empowered us all to write our articles and learn from each other and if I may ask you to submit articles to Stickman from your knowledge and experiences in Thailand that discuss risk minimisation strategies and protection of your collateral that would make me a very happy man as these subjects have been on my mind since my infamous November 2012 trip where I engaged with Pattaya ladyboys.

Many of you are older, wiser and more experienced men than me and I am sure that you will point me in the right direction as to how I can successfully protect my interests should I engage in a long-term relationship in Thailand with a Thai given what I have discussed here today. My heart yearns to stay in Thailand but my rational head tells me I am making a mistake doing so and I am having difficulty making up my mind as to whether to become an expat or not. I have come up with some strategies of my own to protect my interests whilst attempting to safely navigate the Thailand relationship minefield, which I may explore in a future submission. I think that I have some good strategies but I am not yet ready to take the leap of ex patting as I think I may be the patsy. Warren Buffett said “If you’ve been playing poker for half an hour and you still don’t know who the patsy is, you’re the patsy’.

My late father had a saying, which I am quite fond of – “Son – don’t think about how much you can make – consider how much you can lose.”

As I get older I am becoming more and more interested in the subject of risk and what has struck me about highly successful men is just how much these men have managed risk extremely well during their working lives. Farangs in Thailand who are engaging in successful long-term relationships with Thais should be studied so that we may all learn what strategies they have in place and how they have succeeded against the odds in this strange, beautiful and exotic country of extraordinary Thai people that we all love so very much.