My Girlfriend Turns Out To Be A Post-op Ladyboy
For a few months I have been talking to a Thai girl, living in Bangkok, who I got to know through a dating website. We talked quite intensively through phone and Skype, pretty much every day. I've also seen her on webcam regularly. On the website where I 'found her' you can search for males, females or ladyboys (transgenders). I know that there is always a group of ladyboys who'd rather not reveal that they are male and some can get away with that, they were just 'built' to look as a woman, in their mannerism and psychical appearance, however, I am (was) pretty sure that I could see the clear difference! Ohhh boy, was I wrong!
On this dating website I specifically searched for girls, since I have no interest in boys or ladyboys. When I came across the profile of this girl I was stunned by her photos – she looked very attractive, very feminine, a nice petite body, big, natural-looking breasts and long legs. Since I used to live in Thailand for a couple of years, I could easily tell if someone was a real girl or a ladyboy even when there are some really beautiful looking ladyboys which could make it almost impossible to make sure that 'she' is actually a 'he'. Some people who feel trapped in a wrong body are just lucky to already have the 'features' of the gender they feel more comfortable with and with a sex gender operation in combination with hormones you can disguise a lot.
Well, recently I met with this girl, while on holiday in Thailand for a couple of weeks. We were both very happy when we saw each other. I visited the beauty shop where she worked and was invited to stay with her at her house where I also met her mom, father and sister. Although they all don't speak much English, I am still able to talk basic Thai. It never occurred to me that I was dating a ladyboy, but they have the saying 'too good to be true' that went through my head when I puzzled why a stunning girl did not have a boyfriend and why she liked to hang out with me since she is the type of girl that Thai guys would usually adore with features as white skin, big boobs, long legs and a very nice white smile.
On the first night we spent together we also had sex, and everything looked and felt normal to me. However, she asked me if I could use some lubricant before we did the deed. Then it suddenly started to sink in… Could she be a guy? I thought back about the plans we had made to visit Phuket together and how she insisted on booking her own ticket which struck me as odd since a ticket isn't that pricy and I would gladly pay for her. Why wouldn't she accept that? The puzzle slowly started to fall together, could it be because it would expose her original gender since I would have to write down on the ticket 'Mr.' or 'Miss'. It's super easy for Thai people to change their name, but to change your gender officially is almost impossible! The thought that I was actually with a 'man' instead of a girl started to make me feel really uncomfortable. I just wanted to be sure. When she told me she was going to take a shower, I locked the door and searched for her ID card…and yes, my feeling was right! She was actually a he! It said Mr. in front of her name, and besides the name there was her photo, with her long hair, make up done, just like a real girl. What the hell! I had been tricked! How could this possibly happen to me? I spent more than 5 years living in Thailand, dating lots of women – how could I not know that this was a guy? It seems like there are some specimens that can actually completely transform in to another gender, for like 95%. I didn't realise that before! I was always so ignorant to think that you could always see some difference, and with most ladyboys you can – but with her you clearly couldn't.
I am pretty confused and mad at the same time. I don't want to hurt her (for the sake of politeness I refer to this person as a she) feelings, since she takes really good care of me. However, I feel that honesty is very important and the fact that she has hidden this from me makes me very disappointed in her. I did not confront her with the fact that I know that she was born a man and truth to be told, I have no idea what to do now. The plan was to spend my holiday with her, but this really makes me rethink that. I would have probably never found out if I was not such a paranoid person, but I just feel cheated. She even went so far to keep up her image as a real woman to place some products in her room in clear sight such as a strip of contraceptive pills and a pack of sanitary napkins! Her friends also didn't mention anything to me. I wonder who knows and who doesn't about her true identity. Thai people always like to gossip and I really don't like to be their topic of the day, that is for sure.
Given the point at which you found out that she was a he, I wouldn't worry too much. Just enjoy your holiday. If you have plans with her to get married and have kids then that's different but given that nothing with her seemed to be a problem until you knew, why not just enjoy it!