Stickman Readers' Submissions July 2nd, 2013

The Mongering Philanthropist Part 7

In the last episode our hero is about to risk investment in a couple of ventures. In the interim he has bought his youngest son to experience the pleasures of the kingdom.

Part 7 A Mongers mentor

He Clinic Bangkok

It was the end of May when I returned to Thailand. As promised my youngest son Rich accompanied me. We flew first class on Thai air which gives me time to instruct him on the pleasures and pitfalls of the kingdom. It also gives the chance to brief him on our itinerary for the month. We would have a week in Bangkok, a week in Pattaya then two weeks in the Issan. We had discussed some of the holiday Islands but they held no attraction for me. I explained if we wanted a drug fuelled beach party it would be easier and cheaper to go to Ibiza. Rich understood and informed me he was just happy to go with whatever I had planned.

As usual I had booked into the Nana Hotel as it is at the centre of the mongering universe. I had paid for his trip and given him a decent wad but explained to Rich the need to carefully budget and not blow it too quickly which is easy to do in the salacious sois of Suhkumvit. I was at pains to explain Bangkok is not intrinsically dangerous as long as one stays on piste, keep your wits about you and be always aware of potential dangers.

We unpack settle in and begin our evening by taking a couple of motorbike taxis to Asoke. I planned to give Rich the tour of most of my haunts and thought Soi Cowboy a good place to start. I recommended we eat something western to sustain us. I was disappointed to see the Ship Inn had closed so I suggested the Offshore Fish and Chip bar which is just like the English fish shops of my youth. Rich thought it quaint but the fish was good and it did fuel us for an evenings drinking.

CBD bangkok

We entered Soi Cowboy at the Soi 23 end and took a moment to take in the sight. I could see Rich was mesmerised but not quite as mesmerised as when we stepped into Baccara. We took our seats ordered a beer and settled to watch the beauties on the poles. There is no denying the girls there are extremely pretty but a little young and light skinned for my taste.

We take a beer in the Dollhouse where upstairs you get an eye level view of Thailand’s principle asset. A look in the Tilac gives the chance to introduce Rich to some of my pals. After a couple of beers we take a look in the Long Gun before catching a taxi back to Nana.

At the Nana plaza we take a gape at the Angel Witch, Rainbow 4 and Billboard on the top floor. I thought they represented a good range of establishments for comparison. I point out the Ladyboys bars just so he did not inadvertently wander in without knowing. The last call was a look at the spectacle that is the Nana car park at turning out time. By then we decided we had enough and made for our beds.

I must declare it was great fun taking Rich around the bars of Soi cowboy and Nana. The shrieks of delight from some of the girls on seeing a young man rather than the usual old farts was a revelation. I saw the bar scene in a new light. I must confess I was becoming a little bored but showing my son around revitalised my interest, I was seeing it through the eyes of a newbie again.

wonderland clinic

I asked him which bar he enjoyed the most and without any hesitation he declared the first bar we went in ….Baccara I found it interesting that his taste was for light skinned princesses, he had clearly not inherited my penchant for the dark skinned girls of the Issan.


The next morning we take breakfast at the Nana I suggest we take a few trips see a few temples or tourist sites but we quietly strangled that idea. We take a seat in the Golden bar and I notice my friend Kae not in. As I order a couple of coffees Rich tells me “Dad I enjoy your company but I really need to take advantage of this unique opportunity to shag my brains out. I am going to have a look in those bars opposite starting in Stumble and find a piece of Thai tail”. I smiled and replied “No problem but over the next few days we should meet up twice a day just to check we are both ok and exchange tales. I will meet you here in this bar at 7.30 tonight and we can go to Baccara in Soi Cowboy together.” With that he smiled and sauntered across the Soi…..a man with a mission and I could not blame him, you are only young once.

With his departure I suddenly felt the need for a little female company myself so made my way to the old Hilary bar. I was pleased to see Kim and as I asked her to join me I enquired where Joy was. She informed me “She have customer this week” I was only a little disappointed as I was happy to have Kim on her own. I asked if she fancied spending the afternoon with me. To my relief she smiled and quickly agreed. Within ten minutes I had paid bar and we were back in my room. It was a most enjoyable afternoon I had always fancied Kim and our lovemaking was relaxed and affectionate. I remain fascinated by her soft body and chubby little belly.

At 7.00pm she leaves me to return to her daughter. I take a shower put on a new drinking shirt and make my way to the Golden bar to meet Rich.

Rich is waiting for me beers ready. As I take the skin off my beer he tells me he took a girl from the Zen bar, he did not initially forward any further details but his smile spoke a thousand words. He did however remark that her pussy was very different from English girls he had been with. I laughed and informed him he had now become initiated into the great wisdom that a Thai women’s Djihm is the eighth wonder of the world.

We take motorbike taxis to Soi Cowboy and take a light dinner in Sam’s bar next to the Tilac I sense Rich is eager to try Baccara again so we hot foot the few yards to said bar. I begin to appreciate the delights of this establishment and was about to tell him to be firm not just accept first girl that pestered him when he pointed to a girl on stage, a pale skinned cutie with curly blond hair. I spotted her last night he informed me. I called the mamasan over and tell her of my son’s interest. When she had finished her spell on stage the object of his attention joins us. She is very pretty and looked like a porcelain doll. Rich bought her a drink and began chatting with her I stayed for another beer until he had arranged a price and bar fined her. We walked to the Asoke end together and I took a taxi back to Nana with them.

As Rich took his doll to his room I took a stroll to the Plaza and had a drink in the Mandarin bars. I sat chatting with the mamasan who I knew from previous visits then went to Las Vegas. I had my tubes cleared that afternoon so was not in any rush to take a girl so just sat with a few beers enjoying the show.

Next morning I woke late so take a traditional English breakfast at Hanarans and text Rich of my location. My breakfast just been delivered when Rich turns up and sits beside me. Seeing my breakfast he orders one himself I asked him how he got on with his pale princess. His reply was not totally surprising “She was lovely but just lay there whilst I banged at her”. “Ah the old starfish syndrome” I remarked “Can I ask did she shout ick or icker at the end? He looked at me “Yes she did, why was that? I thought for a moment before replying “She is obviously used to Japanese customers, I gather it is what they expect to hear. I think it means Tojo you are such a sex god I am coming like a train….or something like that in Japanese”.

After our pleasant breakfast I suggest we have a gentle beer in the Golden bar, chew the fat and regroup. I was happy to see Kae my little cutie who did not go with customer sitting at the rail; she seemed genuinely pleased to see me so we joined her. We are soon joined by another girl who introduced herself as Nut so I order a round of drinks. Nut is quite a sweetie in her early 20s and had nice shapely breasts and a 1000kw smile. I am certain she wouldn’t have come over for me usually but having a 23 year old with you certainly opened up a different world. Nut seemed fascinated with Rich’s red hair and said “he look same Prince Harry”. I suggested to Rich this girl would give a more spirited performance than his doll from last night. Not one for prevarication he acted immediately, the interchange went something like this.

“Go room? Pay bar?” Sure. We go now.”

An efficient interchange I thought worthy of Ernest Hemmingway himself.

With Rich occupied I asked Kae if she fancied a change of scene and go up to Siam to have a look around the shops. She quickly agreed and we were soon walking towards the Sky train hand in hand. The carriage was full so we had to stand. Crammed tight together we played tickle games like couple of naughty children. We strolled around the shops and had lunch in MK Suki, It doesn’t do much for me but Thai girls love it.

Now comfortable with me she opened up a little more. I already knew she was originally from Nonthaburi and came from a good family. I also knew she had worked as the receptionist in a prestigious office in the business area of the city. But her latest revelations were quite a surprise. She had been married but had miscarried her first child. When she was later examined by the doctors it was discovered she had breast cancer. With the resultant mastectomy she lost her husband and all her self confidence. She had contemplated suicide but slowly pulled herself together with the help of her cousin. She still did not have the confidence to return to her previous job. Her cousin suggested she work in the bar which seemed a perverse logic but the work was easy and provided a living. I appreciated it took some courage to tell me about the mastectomy but it explained her not going with customer; the unusually smart clothes were explained as a way of regaining her confidence.

When I asked what she did after her shift had finished she told me she went home and watched TV. She also said she hadn’t been out for an evening’s entertainment for over a year so I offered to take her out. She looked at me oddly as I think she was surprised. I suggested I pay her bar fine tomorrow so she didn’t need to work then I would take her anywhere she wanted to go Her choice of venue was the Coliseum, which is reputed to showcase the best of the Thai pop scene. I told her I knew of it but believed it had recently closed I suggested if she liked that type of entertainment we could try the Tawandang instead to which she agreed.

I did not fancy a struggle through the rush hour on the Sky train so we took a Taxi back. Kae dropped me at the Nana before taking the taxi back to her apartment.


I meet up with Rich later and we take a stroll to the Bus Stop restaurant for a spot of dinner. Over dinner we discussed our plans for the evening. I suggested we could visit Patpong go see the pussy and ping pong show but he curled up his nose at this. I asked him if he fancied a return bout with the starfish doll from Baccara again his reply was in the negative. I recommended he may have a problem trying to get another girl out as she would now be his “blocker” in that bar. Seeing his bemused expression I explained the concept of the blocker. In some bars particular girls consider you their property and often prevent you going off with another girl in that bar. I postured it may not be the case in a busy bar like Baccara so we could try it if he liked. He asked if I had any other suggestions so I said I fancied a visit to the “Street of Artists” Rich agreed and we take a couple of motorbike taxis.

Soi 33 is known as the street of artists because many of the bars were named after impressionist painters. Most of the bars are hostess bars rather than go-go bars as in Soi Cowboy or Nana plaza. It is not too everyone’s taste the bar fines are expensive, bill padding is occasionally experienced and detractors refer to the hostesses as Farm girls in posh frocks, but I like it.

The first venue we sample was the Office. It was Friday night so the place was buzzing with ex pats watching the sport on TV and office workers on their way home. We take our seats and are quickly joined by two pretty young girls in their early 20s. They were both nicely dressed in blouses and knee length dresses and wore their long hair in ponytails. They introduced themselves as Rose and Lily. Rose in the red blouse pointed at Rich and said “you look same Prince Harry”. Rich put his finger to his lips and whispered “please be quiet I am here with my brother in secret” Lily in the yellow blouse smiled and pointing at me remarked “you not look same Prince William” I replied “I have had my hair dyed grey to make disguise” They both laughed and Rose remarked “very good disguise” I offered to buy them both a drink but only if they kept our secret. I called a waitress over and ordered a round of drinks.

We continued this silly banter for a time. I could see Rose was very pretty with fine cheekbones. I also noticed when Lily smiled two dimples appeared in her cheek which was rather cute. Rich asked them if they worked in this bar. Lily answered “No we just meet here for a drink on Friday I am still student but Rose work in office not too far”. I ask her if she was at Chula University she laughed “I wish” she said then continued “I go to a small college but Rose did go to Chula to study business”.

Rose joined in “I work in office doing little jobs so money not too good” She informed us they rented an apartment but the rent was expensive sometimes difficult to pay. I told them we hadn’t eaten yet and enquired kin kow low? I have found Thai women will always eat. I asked if they would like to eat Italian. They seemed a bit unsure but wishing to appear sophisticated agreed so made our way to the Basilico around the corner. I had been before and found the food indifferent but the Pizza was passable. Over a selection of large pizzas I reflect a man of my vintage would not normally have access to two lovely girls such as these. Having Rich with me was proving to be an interesting experience.

I suggested I would give them each 2000 baht to pay for their rent if they would stay the night with us. They did not seem offended by my suggestion and after a short discussion they agreed. They seemed happy as we returned to Nana in a taxi. The night was still young so I proposed we go into the Checkinn 99 bar near Soi 7. It is a fascinating venue like going into a time tunnel to a 1930s speakeasy. There were 3 Philippine girl singers who gave a spirited and energetic performance. I thought it was wonderful and the two girls seemed to enjoy it.

We eventually go back to the Nana hotel. It would seem Rose had drawn the short straw and came to my room with me whilst Rich took Lily into his adjacent room. I must admit Rose was quite sweet with a delicious body devoid of tramp stamps or piercings. After an hour there is a knock on the door it is her friend Lily. Rose leaves passing the baton and Lily joins me clearly to an arrangement previously decided. Lily is equally delicious with slightly larger breasts than her friend. As my recovery period is a little longer these days she had to settle for my cunning linguistic skills for satisfaction. After an hour she returned to Richs room where I imagined he was about to be introduced to the delights of the Siamese waltz.

It gave me a chance to catch up on my sleep and to reflect on the evening. It may be stretching the point a little but I could now tick the box on Chula students at last. There only remained a Chula professor to complete said list.

The next morning I am woken by a text from Rich informing me he was taking breakfast in Hanarans. I take a quick shower and join him to find him tucking into a hearty breakfast. He still has Rose and Lily with him and they greet me with an affectionate kiss on the cheek. They inform me they want to show him around that day. They all seemed very happy in each others company so I leave them to it. I have a lazy day catching up on a few emails and keeping the plates spinning on my evolving business ventures.

At 700pm Kae is waiting for me in the Nana lobby. We take a taxi to Tawandang. It is actually a German brewery and the entertainment hall is massive and must house a thousand people. I enjoyed the German wheat beer and the food which is a fusion of Thai and German. This may sound incongruous but actually worked very well. The entertainment was like the curates egg and good in parts. They did their own version of the Gangnam style thing which was quite impressive. Much of the dancing was very good but the Thai boy bands could best be described as odd. It was as if a bunch of 13 year olds had taken over the running of the Eurovision song contest.

However Kae was absolutely enthralled and the smile she had on her face all night would have illuminated a small dance hall. To see a world-weary 37 year old became a carefree 16 year old is one these experiences I come to Thailand for almost as much as the sex. As one good friend once explained “It doesn’t come in jars”. At the end of the evening the Taxi dropped me at the Nana before continuing to return Kae home. As she dropped me off she gave me an affectionate kiss and thanked me for a lovely evening. I could not be certain but I think I detected a small tear in her eye.

Next morning we checked out of the Nana and took an aged Volvo aka the limo service down to Sin city on sea. On the journey Rich related his whirlwind adventure with Rose and Lily that involved visits to an open market, a bar used by Thai students and decidedly inventive horizontal activities in his bedroom.

In Pattaya I booked into the Opey. On the way down I had given Rich a thorough briefing on the hazards and habits of Pattaya and how the city attracted the most dysfunctional scum from around the planet. Once we had settled in I suggest we eat at the splendid fish and chip shop opposite the hotel. Whilst we enjoy Thai food I always felt it advisable to supplement the diet with western food occasionally.

Once fed we stroll to LK Metro and I show him around. We then take a baht bus to Walking Street just as it was coming to life. As we walk along I point out all the various bars I knew giving a little narrative for Rich’s edification. At the old Marine bar we turn back and my foot turns into the FLB bar which is a favourite haunt of mine. I order two beers and we are quickly joined by two pleasant hostesses. The one is quite a stunner dark skinned with a sultry demeanour. I mark her down for future reference.

We continue our promenade and I can not fail to notice there are not so many western men around as on my previous visits. The street seems to be totally occupied by parties of Chinese couples being led by banner wielding tour guides. I direct his attention to Tony’s bar and Lucifer’s as interesting but expensive venues. When we arrive at Soi Diamond I point out some of my favourite Go-Gos such as Diamond and Heavens Above which is just further up the Soi.

We walk a little further past Baccara to Soi 15 so I can point out Beach club and Baby Dolls from where I had taken some amazing girls over the years. I also show him which where Angelwitch is as it has a incredible cabaret show considerably better than it’s Bangkok counterpart and well worth a look.

By now I could feel a thirst upon me so I suggest we return to Soi Diamond for a beer in one of my favourite bars Super baby. As we walk in I am pleasantly surprised to see a couple of the dek serve recognise me and direct me to my “usual” seat. They make quite a fuss of Rich noting his red hair and remarking he is “hansum boy same father”. I order two beers, buy the two girls a drink for their effort and get comfortable.

I can see this venue meets with Rich’s approval, the girls on stage are quite exquisite there is a good variety with blonde, curly and classic long black hair on view but they are all slender and I doubt if there is one above the age of 25. I always feel like a child in a sweet shop when here myself so I can imagine how Rich felt. I point out one girl in particular who I considered exceptional. She has shoulder length black hair no visible tattoos and the face of an angel. Seeing our attention she flashes us a smile ….and what a smile, in a land renown for its smiles that one would not be out of place in a Colgate advert.

As soon as her dance is finished she comes over and joins us. She has sufficient tact to sit in between us. Close up she is even more delectable, painfully pretty with a little snub nose and a wide mouth. I could see Rich was rendered speechless with his mouth agape at this vision. She introduces herself as Ploy so I buy her a drink and ask where she is from, khun maa jaak te nai? Her English was minimal but she tells me she was from Udon Thani and had only been working in the bar for two days. Whether the latter was true or not she was quite farm fresh and I knew an exceptional girl like this would probably be taken off the market very quickly. There was a very narrow window of opportunity. I told Rich if he fancied this girl he should bar fine her with all good speed. He did as I suggested and within 15 minutes we were walking towards Soi 14 to my recommended venue ….Secrets bar.

As we take our seats I am delighted to see my friend Mo with the unfeasibly long legs standing in the opposite corner. She spots me and immediately comes over and showers me with hugs and kisses. She joins us and calls a waitress over to take our order. I introduce her to Rich and Ploy and enquire about her daughters and how she had been keeping. She told me all was well but Pattaya had been very quiet. I asked if she had no prior engagements and would she be interested in being my girlfriend for a few days. She laughed “you are a funny man I have no appointment and would enjoy to spend some time with you again”.

I suggested we all have a bite to eat and asked Mo to chat with Ploy and find out a little about her. Mo selected a few dishes we could all share. As we eat Mo teased the information out Ploy. She confirmed she came from Udon and had only been in the bar a couple of days. Ploys story was the classic tale of becoming pregnant on her 19th birthday boyfriend disappears on birth of child. She leaves her child with parents to seek her fortune in the City by the sea.

We take a baht bus back to the Opey and took our ladies to our respective rooms. Having previously spent time with Mo we are comfortable and relaxed with each other. The next morning we all take breakfast together in the hotels small dining area I can see Rich and Ploy are becoming enamoured of each other. Mo helps to arrange a deal for Ploys bar fine for a few days.

Over the next few days we organise a programme of activities to supplement the lazy days beside the hotel pool. We visit Nong nooch which is a fascinating park on the outskirts of the city with immaculate landscaped gardens. A day at the Sriracha zoo was entertaining as was the inevitable afternoon shopping at the out of town shopping outlet. One evening we all went bowling, Ploy thrashed us all even though she claimed never to have bowled before. Evenings were spent in a variety of restaurants around the city but we would always end up in the ZAB bar to hear the Issan musicians there. Like all girls of the Issan Mo and Ploy enjoyed the music of their childhood.

When the week finally came to an end Rich was understandably reluctant to end his Thai girl friend experience but was excited at the prospect of visiting the Issan for the next stage of our adventure. We make our tearful farewells and take a taxi to the airport. We are Issan bound to hopefully launch my new business ventures.

As we were waiting to board the flight to Udon Thani Rich remarked “I think I am now beginning to understand your obsession with Thailand and particularly your fondness for the darker skinned girls of the Issan”. I fear I may have caused him to be infected with jasmine fever, an acute condition for which there is no known cure.

To be continued

nana plaza