Stickman Readers' Submissions May 8th, 2013

Static Security

My Thai girlfriend has a beautiful house one hour outside of BKK. In the THB 10 million range. A beautiful house as most modern Thai homes are. I sent a few images of the house to a prolific Stickman contributor.

I call the house La Hacienda Asia (LHA). A fusion of my two favorite places in the world: the Maya Riviera on the Mexican Yucatan peninsula, and Thailand.

He Clinic Bangkok

And this is what he said: “Pretty fancy living. I am assuming there is also a triple ring of static security.”

1. 5 strands of razor wire on steel posts set in concrete as a

perimeter fence.

CBD bangkok

2. 12' wall surrounding the house and topped by two rows of razor


3. Bars on all the windows and skylights as well as double front and

back doors backed by 1/4" steel plate.

wonderland clinic

Okay. It was Dana. But you have to admire the Danaesque distillation.

Thai expat: "I'm a foreigner with a condo in Meuang Thong Thani. Late one night there was a noisy party one floor down. I called and asked them to be quiet in English. Soon after two Thai men are beating on my door and screaming in Thai, which I do not speak. They sounded drunk and very angry. I did not answer them but phoned the Tourist Police. A nice English-speaking man heard my problem and that I feared for my life. He said his office does not answer calls outside Bangkok and told me to phone 191. I explained my fear. He said to phone 191. I phoned 191 and that number rang for so long and was not answered that finally the telephone stopped ringing. I called numerous Thai friends and my wife, who was over an hour away. Meanwhile, the men continued to throw their bodies against my door! I heard them break the outer metal security door open, which was locked from the inside. Then they pounded on the inner wooden door very hard, and screamed in Thai. I called a friend who phoned someone he knew in the complex who phoned the local guards. The angry men went away. Minutes later, the guards, two Thai policemen and my wife arrived. They examined my broken security door. The police said nothing to me and nothing to the angry men. I moved that night out of Meuang Thong Thani, never to return. The Tourist Police refused to help me; the 191 operator never answered. If my wooden door had been weaker, I would have been beaten to death. I am too old to fight and my weapons were a broom handle and a kitchen knife. The moral of the story: foreigners are on their own late at night inside their own property. Be prepared to take care of yourself."

Enhanced Security

I prefer security cameras everywhere inside and out. All openings on magnetic trips to a battery backed alarm system in the bedroom. Always a nasty lock blade/close quarter weapon of choice under the pillow.

And the 2000 pound Chubb safe. The safe should cost at least 10% of the money/goods that are being protected inside. It should be a ‘security safe’ 1st and a ‘fire safe’ 2nd (A fire safe alone normally has crap security) but in the end, it should only contain stuff that you are prepared to lose should the bad guys have your fingers in bolts croppers requesting you to open it ‘or else’.

All video & alarm feeds come into the bedroom. This is where the controller and video display reside.

Always a nasty lock blade/close quarter weapon of choice under the pillow.

Dana: I am assuming there is also a triple ring of static security:

Dana: 12' wall surrounding the house and topped by two rows of razor spikes

Comment: The wall is 10m (33ft) at the rear of the house. Rolled barbed wire ground to roof. Attached to the concrete wall of course. I am considering electrifying the elevated portion with some real power.

Dana: Bars on all the windows and skylights as well as double front and back doors backed by 1/4" steel plate.

Commnet: Double front doors. The outer is steel and is closed at night time only. Rear doors could be improved. All doors are on magnetic sensors. Most importantly, the upper floor ceilings are covered in cross welded 1 inch steel bars (local burglars like to remove roof tiles to gain entry). Also external wall extractor fans are have internal bars across, to prevent small children being lowered inside to open doors.

Note: The razor spikes would be outlawed in the U.S. So sharp, you could easily prick your finger and check your blood sugar with a glucometer. Try going over that fence and you will be singing soprano!

Comment: Foreigners are not generally allowed to own guns in Thailand. However, if someone enters your house at night time, Thai police understand that a man has a duty to defend his wife and children. Short sword and other nasty blades are perfectly acceptable in these circumstances. The police will totally understand that if any house breaker comes into your family living quarters at night they are likely to be killed.

Most foreigners and Thais living in remote locations keep dogs. Lots of them. They work really well as a deterrent. And they automatically go into ‘guard the house mode’ at sunset without being manually switched on.

It would be prudent to install portable passive IR detectors with a load alarm living in a buildng and sleeping alone for a few days. The thought of an intruder in the dead of night while I am sleeping scares the b’jesus out of me. Friends who live in the middle of nowhere all have big dogs; I wonder why…

My girlfriend lives in a 280-house village. Houses are in the 6-10 million baht range. I stayed in the house for 4 nights alone. She was in the north of Thailand. A nefarious looking character, who was ostensibly incongruous in this village, would walk by the house while talking on his cell phone. Her BMW was gone, so it appeared that no one was home. A neighbor's maid told me that on our soi–a "money collector" for the mob was leasing a house. He had a few chickens and a rooster. All violated the association guidelines. A feisty Thai woman married to a European, walked out to the fence line to give him an ear full about the rooster crowing. According to the maid, the gangster told her that "right now you are alive, but if you don't shut your fxxxing mouth you are going to be dead." The couple moved out two days later in fear. They were also leasing their home. I didn't get very much sleep while staying alone in the house. I have situational awareness, but I realized if a couple of goons climbed over the entrance gate to the drive, I had no allies. No options. I started to wonder if I was being targeted.

Comment: Thai men don’t tolerate any BS from women – especially ‘Mia-Farang’. She was lucky he didn’t ass kick her right there and then for being insolent.

I was not completely at ease until my Airbus A340-500 was airborne.


Stickman's thoughts:

Perhaps you worry unnecessarily. Yes, theft from properties IS an issue in Thailand but if you live in a decent development, have basic security along with a good relationship with your neighbours then odds are all will be ok and no different from your homeland.

nana plaza