Thoughts About Sin Sot

Guesthouse Phnom Penh Cambodia

First, I am sorry if my English not so pretty good but try for give some information to you.

I'm Nubby nice to meet you first haha…I had read your opinion in forum my bf sent to me this link and this.

I'm 25 years old with education and I'm sure I'm very good girl. I read this forum yes some information inside I agree with you but something not and against…

As you said you have been with many Thai girls but I'm not sure what type of girl you been with? Really good girl jing jing? haha…no don't wanna fight with you…calm my friend.

The reason for why have to pay sin sot is pretty good but you said girl from south family will up price is not real. Maybe other family I'm not sure for that but please understand if you wrote like.

That other farang read what they will think about South Thai girl hmmm…:) sure not so good.

And you wrote for how much sin sot for many types of girl…I want to ask you? how you got that information 🙂

You said

An unmarried woman aged late '20s or 30 who grew up in and was educated to bachelor’s degree level in Bangkok and hails from a respectable middle-class family. She may have had one or two boyfriends along the way and now has a good job, such as in a bank or in an office. Expected dowry: 100, 000 – 200, 000 baht.

I'm really sorry…..do you know? It's not about Thai guy or Farang guy coz as I knew….only one price doesn't matter Thai or Farang.

About Thai couple, Thai marry, Thai girlfriend boyfriend if in This type everywhere not only Bangkok 500, 000 + 10 baht Thai gold.

Then you can't assume if marry with farang why sin sot very high (coz you limited your range at 100,000 – 200,000 baht) hmmm.

Normal sit sot for bride in this type (no matter farang or Thai) Average 300,000 – 500, 000 baht + 5-10 Thai gold depends on girl and family too.

But your information not real…jing jing ka 🙂 that price for girl without education or maybe have baby, ever married bla bla bla.

but I'm not lie to you it's that price jing jjing. Yes you can said bride price not dowry (but sensitive make painless in heart when call bride price then dowry much more better…if you care about it)

In my opinion yes sin sot is little bit crazy if ask for really high price, but some old traditional have long long times ago sometimes no reason for that. Can't stop parent thinking.

Their face in social status hard to say about it sometimes. As same like you know have power in electric wire even you never seen it, you can feel have windy but you never seen it…

I cant explain but it's traditional…sound little bit ting tong but look after that what you get? Your old family yes you can say with western or farang girl don't have to pay like this.

But don't forget different place, culture, thinking all different but love can make all different to compromise together…

The reason you wrote before is all why have sin sot and why some case too high.

In my case… I'm pharmacist, good education, good job, middle-class family 25 years old unmarried from south of Thailand in the same case of me in Thai couple as I told you that range.

I can't stop what you thinking about this…just want you know fact..I'm a one case from Thai girl never want money or anything from farang boyfriend never even asked money from him just want he loves me and can be together can marry can have baby can have nice family together…don't need his sin sot for up family but its traditional and my parent will give us back some after

hmmm…and this "sin sot" is sensitive thing to talk in joke or sarcastic. It's depend on person can't assume and say the price like this…

I hope we can discussion about this from fact not from only some opinion please…sometime it hurt many couple Farang-Thai good girl(not bar girl)

I want to explain more but its much better if you have question and I answer as I can…

good luck

Stickman's thoughts:

I totally accept that sin sot is part of Thai culture and when a Thai couple gets married that a sin sot may be paid. What you and many Thai women about to marry a Western don't seem to willing to accept is that not only does this not have any place in any Western culture, to many of us (and I am certainly one such person), we see the request to pay a large sum of money (often a few years' earnings for a Thai and maybe a year or more's earnings for a foreigner) as distasteful. This is particularly offensive in the case of a Western man marrying a Thai woman as opposed to a Thai man because I think it's fair to say that many women in Thailand who marry a Caucasian do so because of the perceived ability of that man to take care of her financially. It is probably reasonable to assume that over time she will be better looked after financially than if she married one of the local men who was available to her.
With this in mind, I think it is not only greedy, but very, very wrong to expect a man to pay a very large sum of money in advance for the so-called "privilege" of marrying her – and I won't even get into the issue that many Thai
women marrying Western men have been married before, have children etc, all of which is supposed to reduce the expected amount of the sin sot!

There is a history of local women marrying foreign men and expecting a substantial sin sot. I have heard about and been told personally of numerous reports of how the man is told by the family he is getting a perfect wife and how they will help with any problems, yet in plenty of cases the reality is the complete opposite. When problems arise – and especially when the woman messes up – the family usually doesn't want to know, is unwilling to assist and in 99 times out of 100 seems to side with their daughter, even when she screwed up (or around!).

I'm sorry, but the numbers you suggest that should be paid as sin sot go against everything I know. I have been to many weddings in Thailand, most involving Bangkok Thais. I've also attended a few weddings in Isaan. The amounts you suggest are over the top for lower or middle class families
. I have heard many cases where the sin sot was VERY low. How can people come up with the amounts you mention when the average salary is only around 15,000 baht per month? You're talking years of earnings to pay a sin sot that you admit probably won't be returned! I should also point out that the owner of the biggest introduction agency for Western men keen to find a Thai bride recommends a sin sot of 70,000 baht, way below the numbers you suggest!

In summary, perhaps you ought to respect your boyfriend's culture! Like many Westerners in Thailand I am sure he respects this custom when it is between Thais. But for foreigners, I tell you that most of us find the idea of paying for a wife to be abhorrent
. That your boyfriend wants to marry you shows that he is willing to take care of you. Is that not enough?!