Psychology
It’s all about psychology.
Stickman’s website will exist for many years to come; probably as long as there are prostitutes in Thailand and men who travel to Thailand. It is a valuable service (I am talking about the website). For as long as this website exists, we will keep reading new submissions from men who went to travel in Thailand either totally unaware or having no clue about how the prostitutes of Thailand operate. And these men go through an experience which they never imagined. They fell in love with a prostitute.
I know because it happened to me too. But this submission is not about telling my story because the stories are all the same (although I always read people’s stories because it always takes me back to the scenario that I went through; it teaches me about myself and about life). I think that I can confidently say that there are two kinds of men who travel to Thailand.
The first kind are bona fide tourists. These kinds of men go to travel without any intention of having sex with a prostitute. I guess these men are aware of Thailand’s sex industry reputation but they don’t have knowledge of what is going on inside the industry and they don’t care. They are in the same state of mind as a person who is aware of the reputation of a continental breakfast in London but he travels to London ignoring the existence of continental breakfasts. Most of these tourists do the tourist thing in Thailand and go back home without ever touching a prostitute. Some may taste a sample from the sex industry without any consequences keeping it in perspective and never telling anybody back home about it. A much smaller group of these men get a big surprise. They fall in love with a Thai woman and either knew in advance or later on found out that the object of their love is a prostitute. I was one of these kinds of men. I fell in love. I found out that she was a prostitute. I put it behind me.
The second kind are bona fide Johns. These kinds of men go to travel to Thailand for the specific purpose of having sex with prostitutes. They might do some of the tourist thing but it is only incidental. Apparently, the greatest majority of these men go back home without falling in love. Some of these men find out that karma is real. They fall in love with a prostitute.
How does this happen? Many of us ask this question over and over again. Falling in love with a prostitute? And what about those who go as far as marrying them? Well. We could say that this is not unheard of. It is part of the human experience. This happens everywhere in the world and it happened throughout history (what was Jesus doing with that woman?). But this does not really answer the question because this happens in Thailand on a much larger scale than anywhere else in the world. Ok. Let’s try another answer. The kinds of men who travel to Thailand are not representative of the rest of men in the world. They are less traditional, more adventurous, less rooted, or less mentally balanced. They don’t necessarily have all these traits in common but they posses some of these traits. But they have one trait in common. They are vulnerable.
The prostitutes of Thailand are professionals. They have goals, rules and codes. Medical doctors have a goal to make as much money as possible. And they have a code when they take an oath to protect each other. Lawyers have a goal to make as much money as possible. And they have a code not trust anybody while trying to scam everybody. Prostitutes do the same.
The prostitute of Thailand knows exactly how to spot the vulnerable men among all the men who come to Thailand. It’s her job. She has been coached by her senior coworkers. She has done it many times. And she shares all the information with her colleagues. She has gone through all the stages that medical doctors and lawyers go through to become experts at getting as much money from customers as possible when they are most vulnerable.
She could be 28 years old and her customer could be a 56-year old man. When was the last time this man had a date? I heard somewhere that the reason why the T.V. show “Happy Days” ended is because people don’t want to watch a show where a fifty-year old Fonzy is chasing women. When you are 20 years old and chasing women, it is acceptable (you are missing on a chance to grab a good woman for marriage but that is your problem). When you are 30 years old and still chasing women, nobody cares. After 40 and if you are 50 then it is pathetic. But even if you want to chase women when you are 40, who are you going to chase? A 28-year old woman would not give you a second look. And if you get into a thing with her, it will be just a fluke that will pass. I had many dates in my 20’s. I had sex with more women than the average man. There were times when I had to manage two girlfriends at the same time and once I simply decided to have a threesome (this way each one knew exactly where I was when I was not inside her). Until the age of 33 it was an endless party. At 37 things dramatically started slowing down. The pool of available women became much smaller. Even a 28-year old woman does not want a 37-year old man. But things continued until 45 at a slower pace with less desirable women. At 45 the game was over. At 45 you don’t get many dates. Young women don’t look at you and menopausal women are not up to the game (if they are available and if you are interested in them). It is 11 years from 45 to 56. It’s a different world. If you are physically healthy, you still have all the desire. You see beautiful women but they don’t see you. Personally, I don’t give a first look to a 50-year old woman. I look at young beautiful women. At the age of 43 I had a two year relationship with a 23-year old woman (I guess I have to clarify that she was a regular woman in Farangland). It was the best sex I had in my life. But after that that’s it. I met some junk in the following 11 years and I did not even want to have sex with them. I had a 42-year old girlfriend (the oldest I ever had) for a while. The sex was only one step above masturbation.
So this 56-year old man goes to Thailand (let’s say me). And he meets a 28-year old woman. She gives him sex and attention. He goes on dates with her. He feels like life is starting all over again. She knows all of this. She knows that a young beautiful woman like her would not give him the time of day in real life. She knows exactly how he feels. She knows what to say to him and how to create the big fantasy. This can happen to any kind of tourist in any of the categories mentioned above. One thing is for sure. He is vulnerable. Initially, it is hard for him to believe that this is not a fantasy. It’s too good to be true. But she tells him: “I love you very much. You are the only one. You are my life. I don’t care about age. You are a kind man. If you are happy then I am happy. I want to make you happy. You are smart. You are gentle. I like the shape of your body. I don’t like slim men. You make me happy. I will go with you anywhere in the world.” Damn! Even when you were young a woman did not tell you these things. You always wanted to meet that special one. And maybe, Just maybe, finally it happened. You waited for her all your life and you deserve it. In fact, why not? Here she is and she is telling you all these things. The neurotransmitters in your brain start getting activated from the situation and the sex (which your brain interprets as intimacy). It is addictive. The sun of Thailand looks brighter. The food tastes better and so does the beer. You take a shower before the dates and you sing in the shower (“I’m a traveling man all over the world…”). She hooked you (well. She is a hooker).
Your vacation is over. You go back to Farangland. Back to what? Your mind is in Thailand. Now her game starts. She tries to get from you as much money as possible. She may also try to get you to bring her to Farangland in order to say to you goodbye after she gets as much as possible. It all depends on her skills and your amount of stupidity. You may have your suspicions. You may even know for sure that she is a prostitute and that she is only playing you because she will never stop engaging in her profession for any man. But it doesn’t matter. She knows what you think and she knows your psychology. She knows that at this stage you are not operating rationally. She created the fantasy in your mind and she is dealing with a man who lives in a fantasy.
Eventually most of these men sober. She knows this too. It doesn’t matter how uneducated or unsophisticated she is. She knows one thing. She knows how to get a man like you to give her money. She is good at doing this. She is a professional.
It’s all about psychology.
Stickman's thoughts:
Caveman, you're vulnerable! Dana, you're vulnerable (and a lot of other things but this is a family site so we will spare readers the blushes!) Phet, you're vulnerable (but hey, at least you're still making an effort!) And Korski, at your age you're the most vulnerable guy on the planet! All joking aside, where do you get this idea that all these men are vulnerable? A few are, but there's way too many generalisations here and too many points I just plain disagree with…
