What I Learned from Thailand
I always thought that traveling to different countries is the best way to learn about life.
Yesterday I was at the local supermarket in my Farangland. I was choosing Okra at the produce section. A woman who looked as old as my mother asked me to explain to her what these vegetables are. I told her that I don’t know. Of course, I know that okra is very healthy. I like it and I know how to cook it with great spices which I freshly grind at home. Before my trip to Thailand, I would have taught this woman, who is my mother’s age, about vegetables and cooking. It would seem natural to me and I would not have given it much thought. But now I realize how disgusting it is. I learned something in Thailand.
When I finished my shopping I went to the register. I put my groceries on the counter and waited for my turn to pay. I heard a woman’s voice behind me: “Is this your cart”? I turned around slowly. I saw a woman in her 40’s who looked like a mouse. I turned my head back to the cashier.
I want to tell you what I leaned about women and prostitutes from my trip to Thailand a year ago. I learned a lot from these two distinct species (and they should not be confused with each other because prostitutes are not women although there are overlaps between these two groups).
Ok. Let’s start from the beginning. I hate women. I have no intention to start getting attracted to men in the near future. I will lust after women until the day I die. But I hate them. It is my right. Actually, it is one of the last rights that a man has in Farangland and I’ll be dammed if I don’t use this right.
I am a product of the 70’s. That’s when I moved from my teenage years to adulthood in Farangland. I don’t really know how the world was like before women’s lib. I grew up in New York. As a Jewish young man in New York, I can confidently say that I grew up in the hot spot of women’s lib. I was shaped by my surroundings (Surprise! Surprise!). Women were proud of being undomesticated. So, obviously I grew up believing that it is a good thing. Only those “Little Women” in the South of the U.S. were domesticated. In fact, the word “domesticated” sounded like “imprisoned”. These imprisoned women may not really realize their grave situation but that is because they are stupid. They don’t have brains and sophistication. Many of them don’t have teeth and their husbands ride trucks and carry guns. I was lucky. The women I could choose from were women who could think. They had degrees in political science, philosophy, and comparative literature. They wore only pants. They cared about oppression in South Africa and hungry children around the world. I never saw them doing anything to make the world a better place for anybody but these women did not see any contradictions in their attitude. A man who watched Miss Universe beauty pageant was a male chauvinist pig. In fact, most men were simply chauvinist pigs. If a young woman was a virgin, she was ashamed of it. It means that she was not attractive or not progressive or something was wrong with her. We all smoked marijuana. These women slept around. And, for some reason, they were never happy women. They were always struggling against something. And they were always trying to find themselves. They were aggressive and bitter. They had sexual hang-ups. I accepted all of the above as normal. I did not know anything else.
One day, during my adulthood working for a big corporation, we had a guest speaker from the South. This speaker was a woman. She wore a skirt, she had beautiful legs, she had all her teeth and they were perfect, she was blond with blue eyes. Her beauty put to shame the (lack of) beauty of the women of New York. There was something different about this woman. She was gentle. She was feminine. And her speech indicated that she was far from being stupid. She seemed to be happy with herself in this world. I imagined all the beautiful “Little Women” like her in the South shopping in supermarkets, cooking good food for their husbands and children, and behaving like women. But the South might as well be a different country. New York was my country. For New Yorkers, there is nothing outside of New York. New York is the universe. This was my life and my environment.
Fast forward, many years to 2011. I went on a trip to Thailand. I was shocked. So many women wear skirts. They looked sexy, feminine and happy. They don’t look bitter. They don’t look like they feel oppressed. There was something so beautiful about them. Well, they are beautiful. They are not aggressive. They seemed to be happy with belonging to their gender. I admit that I was only two months in Thailand. I am not an expert on Thai culture. But I would have to be blind and clueless not to see the difference between these women and the women in Farangland. It hits you. I am not talking about prostitutes now. I am talking about women I saw everywhere; in shopping malls, on busses, in the markets, and on the streets. These are happy women. They don’t have the same privileges that women in Farangland have. They don’t have the same education, money, legal rights, jobs, etc. But they are happier women.
Meanwhile, in Farangland, the women became lawyers, politicians, stock brokers, professors, etc. They got married. Got divorced and remarried. Who is cooking in their houses? Who is washing their children? The maids, of course. And these liberated, idealistic women who cried about the oppression of women, treat their maid as slaves. Slavery is alive and doing well in Farangland. If you don’t know how the maids from the Philippines are treated by Farang women then you are not aware that slavery exists here. Even those Farang women who don’t work have maids. They have their university degrees but their profession is shopping, yoga, and going to restaurants with their shopping girlfriends. They don’t talk anymore about women’s lib. Their husbands are making the money for them for the privilege of being married to them. The world has changed in their favor. They take it for granted.
I know a man in New York who hit bottom. He used to have a good life. He had education, a good job and a bright future. He also had a girlfriend (a woman in New York). He gave her the key to his apartment and she did the same. One night, he came to her
apartment and she was not there. He waited for her. She came home at 3:00 AM. This was unusual. They had a relationship for five years. She could not explain coming home at 3:00 AM. They had arguments about this. A few days later, he found out
that she was sleeping with another man. He told her what he thinks about her. She did not approve of his insults. She called the police and told them that he trespassed into her house. She could not accuse him of anything else because he did not
raise a hand on her or do anything to her. He was immediately arrested by the police. He tried to explain to the police that he has the key which she gave him to her house. The police assured him that his lawyer will have a chance to explain everything
in court. These were good cops because you’ll never know when cops in New York will shoot you if you ask a question. He had a trial a year later after becoming thousands of dollars poorer which made his lawyer thousands of dollars richer.
He was found not guilty.
A year later, I was waving a taxi on the street in New York. A car service stopped in front of me. The driver was this man. I went into the car. On the way to Brooklyn, I asked him how come he is driving a car service. He said that he could not get a license to drive a taxi. I asked him why he would want to drive a taxi. What happened to his real job? Why doesn’t he work in his profession? He said that he can not get any decent job because of the legal problems he had with his ex girlfriend. I reminded him that he was found to be not guilty. He said that he was found guilty. I am no lawyer but I know that in the U.S. you can not be tried for the same criminal charge after being found not guilty. It is called double jeopardy. He explained to me that he was found not guilty in the trial but that is irrelevant. He was found guilty before his trial took place. I asked him to explain what the hell he was talking about. He said to me: “Look. Once you are arrested, you are guilty. That’s all there is to it”. I tried to explain to him that in the land of the free everybody has a right to trial by jury. The court decides if the accused is guilty. More than that. In the home of the brave, the judge does not decide if the accused is guilty. The system is built in such a way that the government can not decide if an accused is guilty. This protects the citizens from the tyranny of the government. Only twelve fellow citizens, who are randomly, chosen, can decide if an accused citizen is guilty. He turned to me and said: “Get one thing into your head. Once you get arrested, you are guilty. Forget the court. Forget the jury. Forget the constitution”. I realized that apparently something happened to him. He is not making sense and his life is not making sense. I gave up. He lost his mind. He does not make sense. He went on to say: “I can not get a job in my profession. I can not get a job with any company. I can not even get a license to drive a taxi. I can not get a bank loan. I can not rent an apartment. I am renting a basement in a private house. You know why? Everywhere I go, they check my background on the internet. They see that I was arrested for trespassing. Nobody wants to hire me. No bank will give me a loan. Nobody wants to rent me an apartment. I am finished. I can not explain to the whole world what happened and that I am not a criminal. You submit an application. They check your background. They give you negative response. That’s it”.
Wow. I realized that this man was found guilty by the system. He was not found guilty by the court. He was not found guilty by the jury. He was not arrested by the police. Legally he is not guilty. But he was found guilty by his girlfriend. His girlfriend made the decision to arrest him and to ruin his life. I thought about this. It dawned on me. We live in a society where any woman can put you in this situation. Any woman can accuse a man of anything. It could be your wife, your girlfriend, your coworker, or a stranger on the street. Once a woman accuses you of anything, first the police will arrest you. No questions asked. The rest is history.
Back to the local supermarket. I know what the mouse standing behind me wants. She wants me to move the cart. Before I went to Thailand, I would not give it much thought. I would have moved the cart and probably apologized. I would not notice the aggressiveness and lack of femininity in this mouse woman. She wants to assert her superiority and teach me a lesson. She wants to put me in my place. Now I would like to tell her what I think about her. I would like to put her in her place. But I am not stupid. I live in Farangland. She can call the police. So I just ignored her. But her voice became louder. She turned to other people. “Why does not he answer me”? “Is this your cart”? The best thing that I could do is ignore her. She can’t call the police and accuse me of ignoring her. This poor woman is looking for attention. Menopause is tough on a woman. Let her boil in her poison. I totally ignored her. I could hear her bitching after I left.
Some readers may completely agree with my thoughts. Others, who are in the same frame of mind I was before my trip to Thailand, may not agree with me. Some readers may think that I am crazy. But I know that I am perfectly sane. I enjoyed traveling in Thailand. But what I learned is more valuable than I could imagine. I wish I understood these things long time ago. The problem with knowledge is that it becomes less valuable as we get older. This is because we have less time in life to use that knowledge. But it is better late than never. And isn’t it a gift that I could express these thoughts on Stickman’s website? Where else can men express their thoughts so freely and honestly? For the readers who don’t agree with my thoughts, let me say this. For your own sake, try to open your mind. Try to forget the brainwashing of women’s lib. You deserve to be with a real woman. Once you experience being with a real woman, you will never want to go back to an angry, bitter, unhappy vagina. Your nature as a man draws you to real women.
Am I going to move to Thailand? No. New York is my home. All I am saying is that Thailand taught me something about women.
I don’t think that the situation of Thai women is perfect. It is not unusual for little Thai girls to be raped by Thai men. And these men get away with it. <Where did you get this idea from?! – Stick> It is not unusual for a Thai female to get bitten by a Thai male. And these males get away with it. But we don’t live in an ideal world. We can not find a perfect life. There is no perfect society. Human nature is too complicated. Our choices are between one poison and another poison. And all we can do is navigate between the raindrops and try to get as less wet as possible. It sounds poetic but if you know a perfect place on earth then please let me know.
Apparently, there is a lot to be said about societies that make sure that a woman knows her place. This brings us to prostitutes.
I met a prostitute in Thailand. I have never been involved with a prostitute and I did not know that she was a prostitute. I fell in love with her. When I found out about her profession, I ceased contact with her. I learned a lot from this experience.
Here is a woman who looks beautiful and happy. We met and we went out on dates. I paid for everything. We had sex. I fell in love with her. But underneath there was something going on which I was not aware of. There was an exchange of money for companion and sex. I did not pay her cash for her services. As I said, I did not know that she is a prostitute. But I paid for everything when we were together. It was obvious that if I did not pay then she would not be with me.
Now I think about things that I have never thought about before. As a single man in New York, I always paid on dates. And those women had sex with me as they did with everybody else. They are liberated women. So, what is exactly the difference between these women and the prostitute that I met in Thailand? What is the difference between a slut and a prostitute? Ok. There is some difference. But it is kind of blurry. In Thailand, the difference is clear. Most women are still virgins when they get married. They have virgins and prostitutes. This is why so many Thai men go to prostitutes.
And what is it exactly that the Farang woman is doing for a living? I am talking about the married one who has a maid? The maid cooks for the husband and children. The maid washes the underwear of the husband. The man brings the money. What is this woman giving her husband in exchange for his money? Her companion and she opens her legs at night (most of the time only when she feels like it).
I have another question. I volunteered in a soup kitchen in New York. I noticed something very interesting. The poor people where either men of all ages or old ugly women. How come there are no poor young women coming to the soup kitchens?
How many young women in Farangland support themselves through college by exchanging money for sex? When I meet a woman in Farangland, what do I really know about her past? I always assumed that prostitution was something that is done in some dark ghettos by drug addicts. Hmm. Something to be aware of about life.
I learned a lot from traveling to Thailand. I still need to sort things out. I have studied psychology when I was a university student. But I have never read a textbook that taught me anything close to what I learned in Thailand. I will go traveling to
Thailand again. It is a fascinating country. I probably won’t engage in sex. The best time I had in Thailand was when I kept away from women. I am glad that I discovered this wonderful country.
I like what you've trued to do, but the inclusion of a good many comments that contain factual errors about general life in Thailand don't help your cause. When you talk of widespread rape for example, and most women being pure on their wedding night you raised my eyebrows…