Stickman Readers' Submissions April 12th, 2012

18 Months In Asia (Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time) Part 1

This may go on for a while but I hope some people read this submission because you may, I hope, get some interesting information, this site is well worth a read and I always feel that people read it and then fall into the usual traps, however most have
life changing experiences and if you don’t WHY!

Why do we come to Asia, well for me it was the film I watched at age 15, it had the character Suzie Wong in it. She has got a lot to answer for!

At the ripe age of 47, (47 then not now) I left London and had no intention in coming back for 18 months.

He Clinic Bangkok

Month 1. Bangkok.

Where’s Suzie Wong??? she is EVERYWHERE, every bar, hotel, club, store, skytrain, market, she was everywhere I went.

The first 3 weeks was a shag fest of outrageous proportions. 1somes, 2somes, and my long awaited and almost scripted 4some.

CBD bangkok

One story is worth writing about my 4some, which was the last multi group sex session I would ever have.

The first 12 days had been finding escorts, bar girls and freelancers who were up for it, and contact details. This was quite difficult.

When I found a pair of really dirty company escort girls I had my building blocks and they were quite up for it, however the next problem was their insistence of selecting girls they approved of.

Panic set in, what if I couldn’t find my 4 from my selections that * THEY* approved of. I spent a day with them contacting and meeting with my list of 6 others, all my selected girls had told me they were happy to accommodate my ultimate
goal and I had thought, achievable fantasy. Error number 1. They spent the day f**king me about and f**king the other selected girls about. My ultimate quartet * SUPERGROUP* was slipping away from me and 4000 baht down the drain already.

wonderland clinic

The dirty duo had told me to get 2 other girls from their agency, which obviously I had thought about but they weren’t my perfect Suzie Wong lookalikes, compromises were unfortunately necessary as were adjustments to my scripted orgy.

I spent the evening looking at their escort company website and could not find another 2 girls that really tickled my pickle or actually liked (batman and robin) my dirty duo. These girls really don’t get on together. Error number 2.

Well after a night in contemplation I finally gave in and selected from the duos they had on the website and fixed the date up with the fat web controller and parted with $1000 dollars. This was well worthwhile I promise you.

Batman and Robin arrived at the agreed time 9pm and the Joker and the Superwoman arrived shortly after.(the two girl rule).

Shower time and bathtub time all getting on well, for now.

Outfits on time, WOW, this was good.
Drinks out. Error number 3. (later in the evening).

Batman put on her preferred weapon of choice a 6 inch strap on.
Robin got busy with superwoman and the Joker and Batman reluctantly removed the strap on and gave me the ultimate BJ, her gift to the world.
Tightest fit time before
Batman got to work.
Bingo found it.
Train time.
Tag time.
Shower time.
Change outfit time and drinks.
More train time, mix up the carriages a bit.
Photo time (negotiable.)
more tag time and all 4 on the king-size

I was a happy man to say the least and still 2 girls to pick for the overnight stay and breakfast in bed etc.

The evening continued dancing laughing and having fun and I asked batman and robin to stay overnight and the joker and superwomen would leave at 2am

Batman went to the bathroom, too much tequila and I was dancing with the joker who really was a funny and playful girl.
I was in my element and robin was getting giggly with superwoman.

Superwoman put on the strap on and went to town on robin, robin was lapping it up, squealing like a guinea pig.

Me and the joker were in hysterics, tears in our eyes and there was no let up between robin and superwomen they were hammering each other.

Batman come in from the bathroom after about 30 minutes come over gave me a big kiss and said *I sorry too much drinking, I ok now* she turned back around and saw super girl hammering into robin and lost it.

Furniture, bottles, ice bucket, stereo and glasses were flying around the suite left jabs, right hooks, body shots, knees and feet and elbows, the joker ran in the bathroom and locked the door and superwoman was covered in blood from a nasty
cut on her head and arm and robin was desperately trying to stop batman from killing her.(face untouched).

I was in shock I think, frozen to the spot, believe me you do not wannabe getting between Thai girls when they loose it.

I grabbed my phone and said to the fat controller (escort boss) get the minder up here now, the girls have gone F**KIN* crazy
(the minder is always nearby in the car).

Finally Albert arrives, robin lets him in, (batman and robins butler) batman is now trying to stab superwoman with a fork from the food trolley and I try to disarm her, they freeze when they see Albert. Its over as quickly as it started.

The Joker appears at the bathroom door and is as white as a sheet.

Hotel security arrives, shortly followed by housekeeping and they are doing the Thai thing with Albert waving and talking in Klingon. It becomes apparent they know each other and then transpires that the hotel has a close and understanding
relationship with the escort agency.

Then The fat controller arrives and batman is shitting herself. Every part of her body is trembling like jelly at the sight of her boss.

I am definitely still in shock and the joker is holding onto me in a vice like grip and sobbing on my shoulder.

I don’t drink scotch but I consume a few large ones.

The first thing fat controller does is check the cuts to superwoman and is relieved that there are no cuts to her pretty face. She turns to batman who is still trembling in a corner and tells her in perfect English to go with Albert and wait
for her at the agency office. I think this is for my benefit and I still have nothing to say, its like a bad dream.

Then a woman arrives with a black case and starts to check superwoman’s cuts and bruises and cleans and dresses the cuts and abrasions which are now more evident. Superwomen eyes are now showing signs of swelling and I now find my speech
is returning. I ask fat controller to sit down with me and she comes over, almost gliding over the floor. I now get quite angry but never shout or raise my voice to her. I tell her that she needs to take the poor girl to the hospital because batman
really pounded in with the body blows. I am worried, what damage has superwoman sustained, she agrees and I insist in coming with them. Error number 4.

I tell her and the Joker that we all need to go, and leave housekeeping here to clean the suite. Fat controller agrees, rings reception this time talking Klingon, she tells me that they are preparing another suite for me and it will be ready
when I return.

We arrive at the hospital its now 4am and pissing down with rain.

The Joker still with a vice like grip clings to my arm. Fat controller me, superwoman, the joker and the mysterious woman with the case are ushered to a room on the third floor of a large white hotel which is opposite the skytrain.
Doctor arrives and Klingon ensues and the Joker at last stops sobbing, releases her grip, and holds my hand resting on my shoulder as we sit in the room.

Fat controller glides like a dementor in the Harry Potter movies and tells us in perfect English that superwoman is going for X-rays and a scan and that in her opinion we should return to the hotel. The joker starts talking Klingon and I
notice she has understood what fat controller said??? I am suspicious now because the Joker has only spoken the typical cute Thai English since I met her some 7 hours ago.

Superwomen is wheeled away by a cute auxiliary, superwoman smiles at the Joker as she leaves the room, as if to reassure her, the Joker starts sobbing again and I lift her head and kiss he gently on the cheek.

I see a guy enter the floor from the lifts and he looks a little agitated. Fat controller and the joker are talking Klingon I decide to go and find a caffeine fix and some water for the girls.

I leave the room and the Thai guy asks me in good English *Are you here with Atitanan* he stands about 5ft 6 and looks skinny he has those baggy type jeans on and a puffy jacket due to the pissing rain outside, I tell him that I’m here
with those two, turn and point to fat controller and the Joker. DARKNESS envelopes me, the little fuck knocked me out, sparko, on my farang arse. Atitanan (superwoman), , , the husband blamed me for the attack on his wife. For my self-esteem lets
assume he was a Thai kick boxer.

I come round on the bed, I see the Joker, fat controller and two off Bangkoks finest cops, shit, I could do without this.

Turns out Spiderman thinks I beat the shit out of his wife *Atitanan* .

I tell the cops *I’M BRITISH* what the fuck that meant I don’t know but its the first thing that came out of my mouth.

More klingon and I notice its now 6am. I don’t know what they were all talking about but I didn’t care anymore I have had enough.

I told fat controller I was going back to the hotel and can she sort this cluster fuck out, she said *I have already taken care of everything, Albert has Spiderman who is threatening to kill batman, superwomen needs surgery for an intestinal
tear and stitches to a fork wound, the Joker will not leave without me and wants to come and look after me at the hotel*

As I get ready to get out of the hospital fat controller glides over and takes my hand, she says *I have taken care of your hotel bill for the next week, Gof (the joker) wants to stay with you is that ok and (mystery black bag girl) will
call tomorrow and check your stitches* what fucking stitches!!! I discover 6 in the back of my head, fucking marble floors!!!

I wake in the morning with a headache from hell and see Goff hovering over me with a glass of water and some meds.
I take the meds and 15 minutes later feel good, a bit stoned actually

Room service arrived and I wasn’t asked to sign the bill *you no pay* said Goff *mam Fatima pay, you no pay, no more pay for you* I ate nothing, drank my orange juice.

I had been quiet all morning trying to remember what had transpired the night before and trying to forget the beating batman had given to robin.

Mystery bag girl arrived checked me over and gave me a wai as she reversed out of the room, after some klingon spoken to Goff in those Thai whispers they do so well.

Goff was sitting with me in bed and asked me *anything, you want drink* I pulled her on top of me looked in her dark almond shaped eyes and said *stop with the act Goff and talk English or you can go* her face was a picture, then she recovered
that Thai composure, she looked hurt and wounded and her eyes started to water, I said again *stop with the act please Goff, your pissing me off* she rolled of me and started to sob into a pillow. I went to have a long bath and bubbles, I locked
the door and started to think about Goff and what I should.

After a good hour of reflection my head started to throb again and I dried and dressed myself in silence.

Goff was dressed now and had not put the TV or iPod on, so I knew she was confused about things and thinking a lot about what I had said to her earlier, this is my mental list from my bath:

She won the tightness test the evening before. PLUS
She was Thai, so she was devious and manipulative. MINUS
She was very pretty. PLUS
She was very very funny. PLUS
She was quickly drunk. PLUS
She dressed well. PLUS
She was free. (according to mam Fatima) VERY PLUS
She was very touchy feely. PLUS
She was not Suzie Wong. MINUS

Wake up farang, don’t be a prat, enjoy yourself and don’t over analyse the situation. (always remember in Asia free lunch is a myth).

Two more pills and I was ready for time with Goff.

I said I was sorry and I had been to harsh with you and gave her a hug.

She said, I sorry too, but, many foreigner not good to me, some hot temper, some cold heart, some too fast love you, and some smell not good and fat.

we smiled and laughed, I told her that my head was still killing me and I wanted sex but not for a while.

No problem I wait, she said. (they cant help themselves, they bullshit you naturally)I told myself.

I told her I hadn’t really been looking around much, due to my focus on my quartet, and would she show me around the sights. She told me she would like that very much.

We spent 2 days doing the usual sights, food shopping etc she was great fun and we talked and talked and talked, her English improved on a hourly basis.

By day three my head felt better and the deed had been done.

To quote Lennon *she done me, she really done me, she done me good*

That afternoon mam Fatima turned up with gifts, lets call it karma, penance, save face whatever and $500, I was surprised but thought in her shoes I would have done the same, a 50% refund for a semi nightmare night.

The quartet was a truly fantastic and memorable evening, but I will admit, I was still having flash backs to the beating batman had handed out. I will to my dying day never be able to forget that night and I knew Goff felt the same or so
she told me.

I had a chat with mam Fatima and negotiated another week with Goff and was happy to give back the $500 and Goff agreed to travel to Myanmar for an overnight stay during that week, and we both agreed it would be prudent to pay and take Albert
the butler with us.

I knew I was in some emotional trouble with Goff and I knew I needed to be careful, I would not allow myself to be seduced by this fantastic girl. I truly believed we connected because of that night.

The next 7 days were fantastic but I was eager to leave Bangkok and travel to the north and see a bit more of LOS.

Batman is still working apparently as a freelancer in Bangkok.
Superwoman is no longer in the sex industry and now working in Japan as a nanny.
Albert is on the Yab adab adoo in some drug den in Bangkok.
Robin has gone AWOL, nobody
seems to know where she is.
Mam Fatima is still running her agency.

Goff……well here is a taster, she was heartbroken when I left for the north and really desperate to come with me on my travels.

We do keep in touch and she still works for mam Fatima in Bangkok. She is 26 now and we do meet again on my return to Bangkok and she breaks my heart. (to be continued).

Please always remember these girls are great actresses, , they ARE in love with you after a week or two BUT their understanding of love is totally out of sink with our own western sense of love. You look after them, treat them well and they
do love you in the Thai way of things.


I am presently away from Bangkok on holiday and don’t have time to make comments. It was either no comments or no subs. I chose to publish, but without any comments.

nana plaza