Readers' Submissions

Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes Part 287

  • Written by Dana
  • April 30th, 2011
  • 4 min read


Dana here with a Mothership–Dana report:

I'm not proud of this but sometimes stuff just happens to me. I'm not gonna lie man because that would be totally bogus if you can get down with what I'm sayin' dude. Livin's all 'bout 'tegrity and I gots 'tegrity up the wazoo bro.

Anyway, Pattaya Emma recommended a tranny to me named Bunny Rabbit Jenkins at the tranny bar above the G-Spot bar at the Nana Entertainment Plaza. Emma said she's a yaa baa hound, carries kneepads in her purse, and has a log half way to her knees.

To get ready for this date I stole a big huge tree plant from the swimming pool deck and bought some aluminum tent pegs at the Pharmacy around the corner. Anyway, in the bar Bunny Rabbit is up on stage and wearing a full body day-glo pink lycra body suit and tights. You can see her third leg outlined by the tights; rock hard veins, and the mass and weight of something you'd find in a tire iron shop. I nearly rip my pant's pocket reaching for my wallet and barfine her faster then a bored dog licks his balls.

Over to the Mothership–room 605, one of the old units with the sash weight windows. Now I am going to have some fun. I have always wanted to know if one of these tranny monsters can pound in a tent peg with their dick and tonight we are going to find out: hence the aluminum tent pegs and the huge tree in the dirt filled steel plant pot. If she can whack in a tent peg with her dick the video is going straight to Utube and I am going to get rich.

But first–sufferin' Mary and Jesus it is hot in the room. So we go over to the window to try and open it. Aluminum channels corrode so I start slammin' the window up and down. Her dick is stickin' out and laying on the window ledge. Suddenly the corrosion bond breaks free top to bottom and I slam the window down on El Logo. I wish you had been there. I wish every man ever born in the universe had been there. Her penis departs and takes off on a sixth floor arc like a mortar shell headed for a cave on Saipan. It was a fake. A prosthesis. I look out the window at the departing fake dick and then I look down at her. What she's really got looks like one of those little pop up thermometers on a turkey.

Now I'm angry dude. This is like ultimately bogus if you know what I'm sayin' and I'm still not going to be able to video a tranny pounding in a tent peg with her dick. Plus I've got to get the huge tree pot back to the pool deck before the maids come on in the morning. All for nothing. Now I'm just roaring like a three-legged wildebeest staring at a steep incline. That's when I started chasing her around the room and: ok, that's not really what I want to talk about today. What I really want to talk about today is an experience I had in Pattaya in a story titled:

THE PURITY OF OUR LOVE

One thing about aging is that change is often bewildering, often inconvenient, and often unwanted. I pick up an angel on the boardwalk and we start for the A. A. Hotel where I expect we will fall in love. The purity of our love will admit of no complication, bewilderment, or awkward moments. Like two dragonflies in heat we will shut down all extraneous evolutionary nonsense and just couple and laugh and sigh. I steal a look at her as we mount the marble steps of our temple of love. An atheist converted and embarrassed, I believe in God now; only God could have sent me this gift.

In room 408 we clutch in breathless naked embrace. I'm just a leaf on her wind now and will do anything she wants. Then she pushes me away, pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and shows me this:

"A rollomatic guide bar is not necessary to separately lubricate the sprocket nose bearing because the chain oil which flows to the bearing by way of the bar groove during normal operations is adequate for lubrication."

Ok, this is either a quote from a chainsaw manual or a new way to tell foreigners we have to wear condoms 'to be safe'. Or, it is a new way to tell foreigners that we do not have to wear condoms. In any event, this is an unwanted change that is definately in the 'what the fxxx' category. Result? Now that the word condom is in my mind I start to have trouble with dragonfly lovemaking maneuvers. Ten minutes before I felt lean and athletic and young. Now I feel bewildered and old.

I help her dress and give her some taxi money.