Readers' Submissions

Ladyboys, and a Crazier Than Usual Night in Pattaya

  • Written by The Yobbo
  • April 7th, 2011
  • 4 min read

I can sympathise with Stick and his close call with a ladyboy. I also had an even closer experience.

Now it is a fact that some punters quite like ladyboys and best of luck to them but it is not my cup of tea. I once saw a bloke strolling down the soi with a ladyboy hanging off each arm. I thought it my public duty to inform the guy of the real gender of his companions. The response of said punter was simply to reply “don’t knock it until you have tried it” and the trio kept on walking. Each to their own.

It is part of my usual M.O. to ask a bargirl if she is in fact a katoey, even when it is quite obvious that she is the real deal. This is often met with a giggle and an invitation to check out the goodies, which I do of course. It would be rude not to. But it will often cost me a lady drink which is all part of the fun.

I have eyed off, sat down with, and even bought drinks for many a ladyboy. I find them funny in the most part. On the rare occasions when I have not already picked them for katoey they have always answered my gender enquiry honestly…until this night!

I was out on the prowl in one of my usual hunting grounds, looking for a bit of sport. I spotted an attractive, tallish looking gal who seemed to be showing an interest. Well due to her height I immediately fired off the ladyboy question and received a reply in the negative, so I decided to drop anchor for a while. Noticed that my new friend had large hands so I asked if I might carry out my own gender determination assessment. Yes that would be OK if we sat at the back of the bar and I coughed up for a lady drink. Well it cost me two lady drinks but I had almost stripped this girl naked in the back of the bar, lots of fun and laughter. Everything checked out, pussy, tits and nipples, no Adam's apple, no surgery scarring from the removal of Adam's apple or breast implants. She appeared to be a tall slender girl with just a slight curving where you would expect to see it on a female and slightly larger hands.

Well I was having fun, she appeared to be having fun, spoke reasonable English, tuned out she had spent time in Germany. I did not enquire further about “Germany” as it might spoil the party. OK, time to pay barfine!

With the arrangement sorted we headed back to hotel, stopped at the 7 Eleven for some cabin supplies and a pack of L&M menthol for my new friend.

At the hotel reception desk it was time for my new friend to hand over the ID card, all the usual procedure. I noticed the hotel night reception bloke studying the lady card and giving me a strange look.

“I am sorry sir but this is against hotel policy”.

What the fxxx? Since when has this hotel not been guest friendly?

“Sorry sir but you cannot have ladyboy in this hotel, it is hotel policy”.

“Now look here Mr. Hotel reception bloke, I have checked this girl thoroughly and this is no ladyboy”.

Hotel reception bloke, still holding my new friend’s I.D. card points to some Thai script on the card which of course I cannot read and says “This says MAN, has dick same like me!”

What The fxxx? Well I was still not entirely convinced, but I decided to err on the side of caution. After all, there is no shortage of pussy in Pattaya!

I turn to my former “new friend” and instruct him / her to piss off.

Right, that little exercise just cost me a thousand baht or thereabouts. I had no interest in trying to get back the bar fine and I could just imagine the mamasan saying “oh, but I assumed that you knew”. I did not believe the bit about “hotel policy” either, almost anything goes at this place. Mr. Hotel reception bloke has known me for some years and has been handed many an ID card by my “guests”. He was probably trying to help me in the hope of getting a tip, which he most certainly did. No sooner had finished discretely slipping my new very best mate a few red notes than I saw the source of my embarrassment come walking back through the door. Oh what now? More humiliation? Blackmail perhaps? Going to flash your gash right here in reception and try to prove that you really are a girl? Oh you just came back for your cigarettes. OK, here take them and piss off.

The she / he takes the pack of L&M menthol and says “Kop Khun Krap”.

The Yobbo


Stickman's thoughts:

I know some guys complain that many hotels' policy is that the ID card of any overnight guests must be lodged with reception. Ain't you lucky that that was the policy at that place!