Westerner Bought And Sold….Again
Once again I set off to visit beautiful Thailand in the hope to enjoy the life changing experience I encountered on my last trip some 4 months before. I arrive at Suvarnabhumi Airport and quickly change some Australian dollars into ‘real money’
that will allow me to pay for what I have thought about every day since leaving the L.O.S. Don’t worry about Airport transfers, jump a Taxi, get to the hotel and head for the Plaza in the hope of finding ‘Pann’. Make no mistake
the brief time I had spent with beautiful ‘Pann’ on my previous trip had changed me so profoundly in a way NO other woman had ever affected me. On my return home for me the meaning of life was to spend one more evening with ‘Pann’.
I hadn’t got her mobile number or email address and didn’t even know whether I would be able to find her. I get to the Plaza and went straight to the bar where I hoped to find her. The bar lady seemed to recognise me and smiled hello.
I sat down and began looking in my bag for a smoke. As I did I heard a voice say my name. I looked to my right and before my eyes was my beautiful Thai princess ‘Pann’. ‘‘PANN’!!!’ I exclaimed. Straight
away we chat and play dice games. I took out my camera and showed her the picture I had taken of her in a towel laying on my Hotel bed four months prior on my last visit. I explained to her I had bought the photo with me so I could find her again.
As we quietly chat and laugh I am transported to another world that I can only visit when I am with her. Maybe I miss the point but I am so content to just… ‘be’… with ‘Pann’ and enjoy her smile, the sound of her
voice, the way she moves, her fragrance of ‘baby powder’, the way she talks, the way she sits. I just adore everything about her. There was more to my plan than just the hope of finding ‘Pann’. On our last meeting I
had taken ‘Pann’ back to my Hotel but I had not technically had sex with ‘Pann’. That technical point had to change. Don’t ask me why it just had to. About half an hour later I asked ‘We go?’ She
smiled and gently replies ‘ok’. No one says ‘ok’ the way ‘Pann’ says ‘ok’. She is just so sweet. Unlike our previous trip back to the Hotel we arrive safely without a Coach running into the
Taxi and the Taxi driver actually manages to get within one kilometre of the Hotel. How impressed was I. We have coffee and chat and laugh. I undo ONE single button which always elicits the same response ‘I take shower?’. At this
point, for some reason I can’t help but tease her by ignoring her request and continue undoing buttons, hair bands, ribbons, hair combs, zips and clips and removing as much of her clothing before she finally gives me a gentle smile and
with a raised eyebrow she pushes me away and heads for the shower.
All I can say is sex with beautiful ‘Pann’ is no longer a requirement for my future plans. I spend another half hour with ‘Pann’ not really saying much just totally content to gently caress her beautiful skin and feel her heart beat. It is 4am so I walk her down to give her a gentle kiss and a heartfelt ‘korp kun krhub’ and make sure she is safely in a Taxi and on her way home.
I had met a Thai woman online and had invited her to come with me to Pattaya. Keep in mind I wasn’t sure that I would ever find ‘Pann’ again and if I did the chances of ‘Pann’ even remembering me was not even remotely plausible. The following morning I hook up with the Thai woman at Morchit bus station and head to Pattaya. It was a two hour trip to Pattaya and I can assure you towards the end of the two hours I was confident I was not even remotely romantically or sexually attracted to her. She was lovely and my feelings had nothing to do with her but I had just spent two wonderful nights with gorgeous ‘Pann’ and looking back now how could ANY!!! woman measure up to ‘Pann’? The internal dialogue was intense. I consider myself a ‘nice guy’ but it’s one thing to think you are a ‘nice guy’ but when ‘push comes to shove’ are you really a ‘nice guy’. I decided I was. I was pragmatic about the situation I found myself in but decided if nothing else this experience was going to be character building. The Hotel was great. I loved the “Bar Girl’ scene of Pattaya, the beach, Jet Skiing, had a wonderful meal at a restaurant. Hopefully I had been tactful in heading off any advances of a sexual nature from my Thai companion. Every moment I had alone was spent thinking about ‘Pann’ and how I desperately wished she was with me in Pattaya. A constant reminder of Sunday night with ‘Pann’ was my muscle soreness. All the aches and pains of being with ‘Pann’ just kept reminding me of her. On Wednesday morning after a wonderful breakfast I couldn’t pack fast enough to catch the first bus out of Pattaya and get back to Bangkok. At least there would be some solace in knowing I was in the same city as ‘Pann’. I was expected to share the rest of my time in BKK with the Thai woman I had met online but I firmly explained to my Thai companion that I had spent many, many, many years alone during my marriage and many, more years alone after divorcing my wife and I was finding it very difficult to be with someone day after day. I assured her it had nothing to do with her but after three days with one person I was becoming unhappy. Yes, correct, I lied but I just could not bring myself to tell her I was not in any way attracted to her. Either way a man is stuffed, if you tell the truth you’re just as much a prick as when you lie. She decided to return home.
I was devastated at having to do what I had to do but I could no longer ignore my desperation in wanting to be with ‘Pann’ again. I spent the rest of the day enjoying walking around the busy Bangkok city that I love. Stopping for some spicy Thai chicken and packet of boiled rice and then enjoying some fresh sweet watermelon and icy cold fruit juice and my favourite fried banana and buying whatever caught my eye at the stalls that line the footpath and thinking of being with ‘Pann’ that night at the Plaza and then taking her to the Hotel.
Alas I was in for some disappointment when I arrived at the Plaza ‘Pann’ wasn’t there and her friend told me she was not feeling well and had called in sick. She phoned ‘Pann’ to tell her I was back from Pattaya but ‘Pann’ said she had taken some medicine and could not come. I was talking to ‘Pann’ on the mobile and was distracted by the ‘Bar Girl’ beside me eating something. As I looked to make out what she was eating she took something from the bag and offered me some. I took a look and realised it was a BBQ’d cricket. I have never eaten something I could actually look in the eye before I ate it. It was quite nice. It had a rich flavour and tasted a little like fish paste. I had a few more. I was disappointed I couldn’t be with ‘Pann’ but I spent the night with the friends I had made at the bar and playing dice games and buying a few drinks. ‘Pann’s’ friend flirted with me and made the suggestion laughingly that I pay her ‘Bar Fine’ but I think she knew that was never going to happen. I think I spent a lot of the night trying to keep her hands off me. She really was a character. I had my iPod with me so I kicked back and listened to D.J. Earworm ‘United States of Pop 2009’. It seemed to suit the hectic frenetic pace of the Plaza as I watched ‘Bar Buckets’ fill up then ‘Bar Fines’ being paid and couples heading for a Taxi and Hotel or heading for the ‘Third Floor’. All liaisons that left me wondering whether I was the only person who had totally missed the point. Although, I did see a ‘customer’ gently smiling into a ‘Bar Girls’ eyes as he tenderly brushed her beautiful long hair over her shoulder. Then disappointed me by hastily proceeding to pay the ‘Bar Bucket’, ‘Bar Fine’ and head for a Taxi and I presume, Hotel room. I know I can walk straight into a theme room at the Plaza and pick from any number of the most beautiful Thai women. I could go to Cowboy and again pick from any number of the most beautiful Thai women. Anyway, at that time I had real reservations any woman could make me feel the way my ‘Pann’ does. I said goodbye to the friends at the bar and headed to my Hotel room alone. I have to admit I was a little concerned at how addicted I was to being with ‘Pann’ and, it would seem, ‘Pann’ alone.
The day was spent visiting Wat Trimit near China Town. Definitely my favourite Temple in bkk. The most beautiful Temple I have ever set eyes on. I got my ‘Birth-Day’ (Sunday) blessing from the Monk and had a wonderful afternoon walking the busy streets of BKK enjoying the food stalls and the sales stalls that line the pavements. One thing I love to do is put a smile on my face and I am sure by the end of the day I must receive 200 smiles back. It was a great afternoon in beautiful BKK for me. However every now and again I would think of my ‘Pann’ addiction. It worried me.
I headed off to the Plaza hopefully to find ‘Pann’ and ….’be’… with her again. I think I may have been a little early. NO girls had arrived. Then ‘Chen’ arrived. She was so beautiful. She smiled hello. I watched her as she did her hair and makeup. I really enjoyed watching the girls do their makeup in the mirrored beam that supports the bar roof. They took so much care to the tiniest detail. Face powder, eyeliner, lipstick, eye shadow, lip pencil and mascara. It seems to be endless. Before she started I thought to myself how breathtakingly beautiful she was and when she finished she remained breathtakingly beautiful. Then I see beautiful ‘Pann’ arrive. She comes straight to me and gives me a kiss hello. She tells me she has to do her makeup. I reply “ok I see you in hour”. She frowns at me and then smiles “HOUR? Not Hour!!” and slaps me on the arm and goes to do her makeup. ‘Chen’ is still wasting time trying to improve on ‘breathtakingly beautiful’. I go over and tell her she is beautiful. She smiles and asks “happy you girlfriend here now?” It’s a simple answer “Yes, VERY”. I sit down and play dice games while I enjoy watching ‘Pann’ attempt to improve on perfection. All a waste of time but she seems so focused and intent on perfecting every detail of her beautiful face. I suddenly remembered a conversation I had the previous night with ‘Chen’. Somehow the discussion led to sex versus money. ‘Chen’ was fast with her decision ‘MONEY!!!’ she exclaimed and then apologised saying ‘Oh maybe I should not say?’. I said ‘No it’s not problem’. Her strong reaction had crossed my mind a couple of times during the day. So I called her over and asked her why she said ‘money’ so emphatically. She said ‘Oh I want buy house for Mother. Is dream for me’. I smiled at her and told her it was ‘good dream Chen’. I contemplated the 100’s of admirable hopes and dreams of each ‘Bar Girl’ that must underpin the Plaza. My thoughts reinforce why I have the deepest respect for the ‘Bar Girls’ and what they do. The pursuit of their dreams would have to be held in higher regard than my need to fill my emotional wasteland and the various carnal desires of ‘customers’ within the Plaza.
As I watched beautiful ‘Pann’ I thought to myself “Give it up ‘Pann’ you’re perfect’. Finally she joins me. My plan for the night was to take ‘Pann’ to dinner and then back to the Hotel. I asked her if she would like to go to dinner and she replied ‘No’. ‘Oh ok’ I thought. I was really disappointed but didn’t say anything. I tell ‘Pann’s’ best friend I had asked ‘Pann’ if she wanted to go out to dinner and that she had said no. She looked confused and turned to ‘Pann’ and had an abrupt discussion in Thai and then explained to me ‘Pann’ had misunderstood what I had asked. I felt better then. After a 17 year shit marriage I have heard the word ‘no’ enough for 10 lifetimes. It was getting late so I turned to ‘Pann’ and said ‘We go?’ With a sweet smile she replies ‘ok’. She always has to do half a dozen things so I tell her I was just going into the room to see the go-go girls. Whenever I said I was going into the rooms ‘Pann’ would always get a little frustrated with me. I kinda liked it. ‘Why you want go in room for!’. I explain to her that I had been chatting with one of the waitresses and mentioned I had never been in the room and she invited me to come in and look. ‘I just look ‘Pann’ not worry’. ‘oh ok’ she says, still not totally happy. I walk in the room and sit down order a Coke. I don’t drink when I am with ‘Pann’. I am pleasantly surprised with the girls in the room they seem to be older than other rooms I had gone into. One of the girls dancing smiles at me and waves to me. To be polite I wave back. At this point a man slides up beside me and asks if I spoke English. I said yeah sure no problem. He says you seem to know what goes on here how does it work? I have no idea why he thought that. I was interrupted when I felt someone touch my leg and I turned around to find the most gorgeous, bikini clad Thai woman standing in front of me. It was the girl I had waved at. When I realised she thought I had called her over I just apologised and explained I had a girl outside. She was so disappointed and made a ‘sad face’ and didn’t get back on stage she went and sat with the ‘Momosun’. I was REALLY worried I had caused her to ‘lose face’. Lucky I never go to art auctions I would be walking out with a Picasso under each arm. I explained to the British guy how the system works and made him promise he would treat the Thai girls with the utmost respect at ALL times. He promised and was very appreciative for my help.
‘Pann’ is a little reserved in public but when we are alone in the Hotel room she relaxes. Although she will not allow me to keep the curtains in the room open. I love to look at the BKK nightscape when I am with her. Just to remind me where I am. I try to reason with her we are 12 stories up and doubt anyone could see into the dimly lit room. She will have none of it and the curtains are firmly closed. Bless her. I was looking to set a P.B. in the ‘button’ tease game tonight. I strategically positioned her on her back so she could not make an easy escape. I had disposed of the two hair clips earlier. I had one hand under her back to undo her Bra clasp. The plan was to catch her off guard. The Bra clasp first, the T- Shirt off, then top button of shorts and zip and then her little shorts off. In a matter of seconds she was down to her g-string before she had time to even think ‘I take shower’ let alone say it. They should make it an Olympic Sport. On that performance I’d have a good shot at Gold I reckon. I lay there feeling pretty pleased with myself. However, I don’t think ‘Pann’ shared my sense of achievement as she just lay there looking at me and shaking her head.
Afterwards we lay there together not saying much. ‘Pann’ asks ‘What time you leave tomorrow’ I tell her I leave at Midnight. She suggests we have dinner together and she comes with me to the Airport to say good bye. I was a little surprised that was the first time she had actually suggested hooking up. I thought she may have suggested it because of the misunderstanding about having dinner that night. I said ok we have dinner, we have ‘foot massage’ and go to the airport.
The following evening I get a call from ‘Pann’ saying she is in the Lobby. ‘Pann’ looked gorgeous in a pretty black dress which she promised me she would wear. We had a great dinner and the foot massage was fun. I will definitely put that on my list of things to do next visit. We get to the Airport a little late and I hand my papers over to check in. I know straight away there’s something amiss. Finally the clerk informs me the flight is overbooked and asked if it would be possible for me to fly out tomorrow morning. She tells me the Airline will put me up at the Airport Novotel, arrange breakfast and transfers and fly me out Business Class the following morning. I think she was waiting for a customer ‘brain explosion’. Attempting to contain my enthusiasm I replied ‘Sounds great book it through’. We get to the room to find we are booked into an Executive Suite and I don’t think I have ever seen a bigger bed. I know ‘Pann’ cannot stay because she has a wedding to go to the following day and has to be at the hair salon at 7am. I can’t keep my hands off her but can’t find a button to undo. Instead I decide to undo her Bra clasp. When she realises I have undone her Bra she slaps me and laughs but it is the first time she doesn’t say ‘I take shower?’. I say to her ‘You take shower?’ knowing she doesn’t have time. She replies ‘Noooooo I not time I get early for marry’. I couldn’t care less I had such a great night and she had gone to so much trouble to wear the prettiest dress for me. One thing that puzzled me, and still does, was that ‘Pann’ had remembered me from one night four months previous. I asked her if she really remembered the night we had met four months ago. I was really surprised when she basically repeated what had occurred when we first met and spent one night together. I noticed it was getting late so I paid her for her time and a Taxi home and walked her down to see her off safely home. As we walked down the hallway I caught site of her in a mirror and said ‘God your beautiful’. She replied with a sigh of disappointment ‘I know’ as if it was a cross she had to bear. I looked at her and we both burst into laughter. In the many, many intimate hours I had spent with my ‘Pann’ that was the first time she had let her guard down and I glimpsed the real her. A confident, beautiful, sensual, strong woman with a wonderful sense of humour. The taxi pulled up I kissed beautiful ‘Pann’ gently on the cheek and watched her as the Taxi drove away.
All I know is I love how I feel when I am with her and I love the person I am when I am with her and she is the only woman that has ever enabled me to feel this way. What I desperately hope is that in the silent, early hours of the morning when all is done and we lay in bed and wonderful ‘Pann’ gently rests her head on my chest and I can feel her heart beat my hope is she allows herself the luxury and lets her guard down just for a second or two to feel the magic I feel every moment I am with her.
Korp Kun Khrub beautiful ‘Pann’
P.S. It has been a month since I returned from BKK and recounted my time with ‘Pann’. It takes a while for me to settle down after being in BKK. I am always mindful of the situations men find themselves in with women and I don’t mean just Thai women but women in general. On careful reflection there were a few things I conveniently left out. One night at the Plaza ‘Pann’ asked me if I had been with two women. I recounted a wild night I had where I had sex with 3 different women in one night. What ‘Pann’ meant was did I want to have her and her friend that night. Looking back I get the feeling she was trying to ‘up sell’ me. You know like at Maccas when they ask ‘Do you want fries with that’. Also there was some ‘customer’ talk. For some unknown reason she tells me how a customer had sex with her friend and then tells me ‘then he f**k me’. I think she had about three ‘customer’ cell phone calls while she was with me. ‘Pann’ gets annoyed if I go into the rooms. Is that because she would like to be with me or she is worried she will lose a ‘customer’ for the night? I got her cell number. I sent a few text messages but I think her friend replies to me. She has never sent me a text or email to say hi. I have decided I am not going to be with ‘Pann’ again. She will always be special to me but I don’t want to be ‘up sold’ and I don’t want to hear about other ‘customers’ and I don’t want ‘customers’ calling when I am paying. I am 54 it would be nice to meet a Thai woman to be with but I think that’s just a stupid dream. I think I will do this last stretch alone so it is time for me to hit the rooms and have some fun.
Pressed for time so no comments. Sorry!