Readers' Submissions

Dear Blue

  • Written by Anonymous
  • July 24th, 2010
  • 7 min read



Dear Blue

As usual with ladies submissions I read it avidly, to get the wider viewpoint. In fact I read it 3 times to try to best get the gist of your anger.

if I got is straight it seems that the following are facts apply:

– you have lived in los for a long time continuously.

– you have been part of the expat community for a long time.

– your father for one reason or another has hooked up with one or more locals. There is no info about your mother or the background to the ending of that.

– you are world weary about the guys going for the local talent (a colloquial UK word for ladies).

– you are depressed about the local talent taking away husbands and other men from their white family unit backgrounds.

– you are sad for the local talent being "exploited".

– it would appear that you may be of USA or Brit origin.

– many of your friends have become disparaged with the situation as well.

I hope I got that right.

Now for my analysis, but first a little background to provide perspective:

* I'm in my early 50s
* I'm dual USA and Great Britain national
* I've been an expat since I was 12 in various European countries
* I've got a family that is regular and fairly stable for over 25 years and have a daughter near your own age
* I reside in a french speaking country
* I travel to Asia, now mainly china, regularly for business, and this for several years already
* I deal everyday with customers from all European countries and also several Asian countries where I have about 15 suppliers
* I created and run my own business
* I do not get off on buying sex
* I have from my life experience become rather broad minded and generally not judgmental


Now for the analysis:

– you are a women and naturally take a woman's viewpoint.

– you are hurt, possibly because of the destruction of your family unit by an outsider, and similar destruction in other expat family units.

– you feel that the local environment is conducive to that destruction.

– you don't like seeing older men with younger local girls.

– you feel that most (if not all) men are trash.

– I would suspect that if that trend continued you would naturally look for solace in other women and perhaps take that to the next level.

As I am not all seeing and knowing I will frame the next points mainly as questions.

Why did the local expat men move on to another relationship?
Bearing in mind that expats are usually in the top 3% of earners, that would normally preclude them being entirely stupid or senseless socio economic level C persons.
So one could assume that they did what they did with adequate forethought?

I could suspect that the seeds of the breakup were sown well before the actual fact and that the opportunity cost to the gentlemen involved was probably favourable.

I would also suspect that the same scenario would be played out in the UK or USA in similar circumstances, but with a higher cost.

Why are the local girls so available for a fee?
It's called hard capitalism and the consequent decline of community morals.

People will do almost anything to make money.
CIA staff will sell secrets to Israel, who will in turn sell them to Russia etc etc etc
So a young poor lady offering herself on the market is not at all uncommon anywhere and certainly not as bad as the above.

Let's take the case of the UK in the current downturn.

Manchester, northern UK
ca 25 massage places and ca 500 + call out services available.
Many of the persons working there would be young mothers, single mums and uni students looking for extra income.

In fact the police no longer try to control it due to the common knowledge of the availability of an outlet for men's tension reducing the occurrence of more serious sex crimes against ordinary people.
Bearing in mind the actions the conservative govt will now take to reduce services and increase taxes this is likely to increase significantly.

Lets take the case of Thailand oriented men's relaxation.

Just along Rachada Road there would be upwards of 20 large establishments that cater for wealthy Thais.

The situation would be similar in all major Thai cities and towns, just the class / expense would be different.
In fact most Thai businessmen would have 1 or more "nieces" to support.
Of course, being Asian they keep the 2 lives well segmented and don't get sentimental about it (something westerners appear to be incapable of).

Let's take the case of Germany

In Germany there would be possibly over 300 legal part places (liberal translation from the German)

Who would work in these establishments?
Ladies from eastern Europe trying to make a better living than they could in say Romania, Bulgaria or Poland.

In fact certain more cynical Europeans would say that that is why they were let in to the EC to begin with!

Let's take a rich country like China.

In China many successful young ladies in gainful employment would have several uncles, brothers etc etc to supplement their Louis Vuitton lifestyle.
In fact I know for several years a VP of sales in her early 30s who has as last count 5 uncles and 3 brothers.

So my dear Blue, it's just the way of the world and it ain't going to get any better.
If you want real equality become a communist and move to north Korea (sorry, Albania is now closed).

That being said, there is plenty of scope for good looking western girls with a real personality (by that I mean someone who can talk about something else than clothes a-la-sex in the city), and real employment prospects to find a reliable partner, it's just a little harder (requiring effort and friendly demeanour) to land the right fish.

As to all those older folk with younger girls, maybe you had better ask them their life story as to why they left USA or UK before passing judgment?

Let's take the case of the UK police Sergeant. I met this gent in a bar on soi 33 some 3 years ago.

He had retired from the force and become the head of security on a Cunard liner which meant he was at sea for extended periods. He had befriended a single mum and taken her into his house with her 2 kids several years before he (foolishly) had make an agreement with her for joint account and property. Whilst on his last cruise he lost contact and when he returned home his house was sold, his account empty and his credit cards maxed out.

Needless to say he went to LOS for 2 years and drank himself silly and then settled down to run a small business in Thailand, with a local live in friend, he had never been so content as now.

Why do so many guys go the far east?
It's because they were used by their spouse / job/ society/ and spat out.
Of course some of the guys are slobs from socio-economic class C, others would be better off and would be almost unseen in better areas / accommodation e.g. higher class Italian, French and Germans.
What you mostly see in the places you named e.g. Patpong etc is in large part the B and C class people, who by difference in class would disturb you just as much in your own country (bad manners / loud/ drunk etc etc).

I would add, that being in a expat status myself in perpetuity, it's not an easy ride and when you are young, it's really difficult to keep and maintain a base of friends because you are by nature in a transient community.

The best solution would be to make Thai friends as they will be there for the duration and give you a better association with the country.
The other problem with expats is that because their dad is of the top 3% of earners, the kids think they are "the shit" so to speak and are coming often with very irksome self centred personalities.

I do hope you can broaden your views as you gain age and life experience and break out of this needless spiral of pity and accusations.

the Frenchman

Stickman's thoughts:

There's a lot of sense with what you say. What we see in Thailand is far from a "Thailand thing". Much of what happens here, with the Western population, happens elsewhere too, but many seem to have much less discretion here.