Q & A Part 1
Why do so many foreign men who visit Thailand find it so different to any other place they may have been before?
Thailand is unlike any other country in the world and there are reasons for this. Historically, which country in Asia was never ever colonized by a western power? All Asian countries were, by England, France, Spain, The Netherlands – all except one: Thailand. Hence, it is safe to accept that what one sees in Thailand represents true, original Asian culture, untainted by western concepts such as equality of the sexes, for example.
Are you saying that there is no equality of the sexes in Thailand?
Yes. In Thailand, when a Thai male marries, he vows to love his wife. When a Thai woman marries, she vows to serve her husband. Yes, the word is serve. Furthermore, in Thailand a man cannot apologize to a woman; a superior being does not say sorry to an inferior one.
That’s barbaric! Women are human beings just as we men are, aren’t they?
Yes they are human beings…and you are speaking as a westerner now. As I said, Thai culture sees things differently to the West. And Thais make no apology for how they are; if the West has a problem with that, then that is the West’s problem, isn’t it?
But look here, how does this relate to marriage between a Thai man and woman?
In Thailand and in many other less westernized countries as well, marriage is not an equal partnership, at least from a western perspective. You see, a Thai woman is trained from a very young age how to serve her future husband; how to fulfill his needs
whether they be sexually, emotionally. Her job is to satisfy all his needs, while his job is to love her. So what happens once they marry? As you are well aware, a Thai wife will serve her husband, from a western perspective she will wait on him
hand and foot. She will clean, cook, feed, and generally take care of his every need. She serves him. Now as a man who receives this treatment from a Thai woman, how will you naturally respond to being treated this way? Of course, being a man,
you will love and appreciate her, treasure her, bask in her care and attention and enjoy it. All men would and in return they will love her completely; this is how any man is made and responds to having his needs met. This then gives the Thai
wife some power over her husband…she knows that she can, if she wishes, manipulate or control him.
So you’re saying that a Thai woman, by being submissive, actually ends up gaining love and manipulative power over her husband?
Yes and no. I say any woman, Western or Thai, Inuit or Indian, has the ability to win her husband’s love by serving him and meeting all his needs. Now of course a western woman is never going to do this; why should she when her society demands that her husband love her even if she does not fulfill his needs. Equality of the sexes, right? But a Thai woman will understand that by serving her husband and fulfilling all his needs, she gains his devotion to her. By being submissive, she ends up winning his love and he will move heaven and earth for her.
So this treatment foreign men receive from say bargirls in Thailand, is not an act?
Firstly, let’s call a spade a spade and not use PC euphemisms like “bargirls”. We aren’t in the west; so let’s call it what it really is: prostitution or prostitutes. No, the treatment one gets from Thai pros is generally similar to how a Thai wife serves her husband. It’s not an act; she is just serving her man as how she was brought up to do. Of course, she is doing it for money instead of love from a husband. She knows that the punter is not really her husband and that she is just a rented “wife”.
So it is possible then to marry a Thai bargirl and live happily ever after?
I would say that the chances a marriage to a Thai prostitute will end badly for a man are 100%. In other words, ending up being happily married to a Thai prostitute is about as likely as finding something good to eat in your toilet bowl.
But some of this website’s readers, admittedly a minority, have written to say that their marriage to an ex bargirl is wonderful, happy and there are no problems and that they have married a perfect wife. How do you explain this?
My response to these writers is: wait and see.
Wait? Why, what do you mean?
Any married man who claims that he married the perfect wife and is going to be happily married to her forever, is talking through his ass, and he knows it. No married man honestly knows for certain that his wife will be a good wife until the day he dies of old age and is still happily married to her. That’s a fact.
It sounds like you’re a bit cynical that marriage to a bargirl will end badly for the man?
Yes. It will eventually end badly for a man who marries a prostitute. Look, would you marry a prostitute in your own country? Prostitutes, whether Thai or not, are not the same as regular, decent women, however nice these pros may at first seem. The work they do requires them to be the way they are. The mental mindset is different and permanently so.
So you’re saying men should stay clear of Thai pros?
No. If what you’re after is only sex for money, go for it. Never form a relationship with her. Never marry a pros. Never ever enjoy freebie sex from a pros. Always pay for it. Sex for money is always cheaper than sex for free, in the long run.
How can a man avoid being trapped by Thai pros?
One way is to never hire the same girl more than once, or for more than one day. Look, its not like there’s any shortage of Thai pros, is there? Also, make it clear to a Thai pro from the first meeting that you are a butterfly / helicopter / skylab. Or that you have very little money. The safest option is still to change pros daily.
I agree with some points, disagree with others…