Stickman Readers' Submissions January 16th, 2010

Sin Sot Story

Well let me start with a little background as most do. I have been travelling to Thailand 3 times a year for the past 3 years. At first for fun then over the last year in search of a good Thai girl for a wife and family because I have become disgusted with Western women. I have dated some Eastern European and they are getting just as bad.

Anyway, I recently met this little 22 year old sweetheart. She was a friend of a friend as many people I work with are married to Thais or at least have Thai girlfriends. Myself, I have probably had 3 or 4 girlfriends and I have always cut it off abruptly when they exceed their monetary value.

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Now about my girl, yes she did work in a bar for about 5 months and she recently went back right before we met. Of course I was supposed to meet her 6 months ago but that did not happen so she had to go to work, to pay off deceased father's debts (better her than me because that would not have happened).

So when we met she quit work of course (and she really did) as I am helping her and we now live together. I am getting older and really think this girl may be the one I finally marry so I started researching online about Thai marriage. And then I learn about sin sot. I have read many postings on your website and I researched the origin of sin sot and implemented what I know about Thais and family culture…. or should I say some Thais and the family vulture. After a few days of thought I decided to broach this subject with her now because if it is not going to work out then better to know now then later.

Her initial response when the subject was brought up was "Honey I think my mom want 500,000 baht." Obviously her mother did not know about the wonders of the internet or thought I might just say "OK". Of course I quickly asked her if she was smoking crack or something and informed her that she definitely should not expect that that will happen. Now before we continue, note that I said "her mom" because I know that it is her mother driving this issue and unfortunately my girlfriend is caught in the middle. The reason is because I am not there to talk face to face with the mother and she cannot speak enough English to converse on the phone about such matters.

Well, the next night, I spoke with her again. When asked if she had spoken with her mother she said yes and her reply "Honey, she not accept". As an American, we are not the best at accepting when someone challenges or tells you what you HAVE to do. So I expressed in some very harsh words that I did not care what her mother was or was not going to accept and that it was not up to her to decided if we were to get married. My first offer was that if I recognize her culture of paying the sin sot that I would be happy to…. as long as her mother paid round trip tickets, lodging, in country travel and food for my entire Stateside family as well as paying for the ceremony. That is my culture. She asked "How much does that cost." It was really cute. After I stopped laughing I stood my ground that absolutely NO sin sot would be paid, not as much as a Thai gold pinky ring for an infant. If she could not accept that then we would have a problem. After several minutes of silence, she said "Ok we get married at the Amphor office. No problem I love you." She then stated that her reason for the sin sot was because she was worried about her mother's welfare. We discussed giving her mother 5,000 baht a month. I agreed that we would work something out because I cut off all funds to her mother a while ago. And yes, she still stayed with me. I did however state that her mother needed to get to work. She is only 48 and thinks she can just lay around all day but that is another story.

The bottom line is, as you can see I have put this girl to the test, and she has passed. No sin sot. If you are like me, either don't trust the money will go towards a good cause or if it just goes against your principles.

Also to the readers, the amount of sin sot is based on the family's status in their community, her age, if she has been married or has children, her education level, beauty and previous work history (earning ability)… I explained to my girl that she had 2 (Beauty and young age) out of the seven and did not justify such a sin sot even among the richest of Thais… She was surprised I knew that.

Stickman's thoughts:

This is music to me ears! Thank God there is actually someone out there who stands up for what they believe in.

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