The Unexpected Part 1
I now find myself in a predicament that I can't seem to completely get my head around. It may just be my very cynical outlook that is clouding my judgement, or I have possibly stumbled across the mythical (often spoken about, but rarely seen) "good
Thai girl". To give you a little background, I am a 34 year old Australian, employed in a decent job and single.
I have enjoyed many of Thailand’s wonders over the years, both good and bad, including getting involved with a Patong bargirl and staying with her and her two room mates in a tiny one bedroom "apartment' for three months. Her name was “Fon” and we had an awesome three months together, and her two bar girl friends were two of the most amazing looking girls on the island. Fon and I would regularly go out to a club and eventually be joined by her two friends (once the business part of their night was complete). Partying the night away with three stunning beauties can rarely be beaten, and I was completely comfortable shouting these extra two girls drinks, because, let's be honest, the same shit happens at any club you go to in Australia. It's just that these girls were hotter and the drinks cheaper and these girls didn't take advantage of it.
Fon was a like a pure thoroughbred racehorse. You could crack a walnut between those bum cheeks. I don’t like the stick-thin Thai girls and prefer a girl with some meat on her, but certainly not overweight, just not bony. Fon had fantastic thighs and legs that went forever, long thick brown hair, and had a real hint that one of her parents / grandparents may have been of western decent, especially since she naturally had brown hair, not the normal black hair that I had come to expect from Thai women. I questioned this, and was informed that her grandfather was American…ahhhh, it all becomes clearer now. Tat explains the brown hair, tall, western figure, and larger than normal breasts…as I said, this girl was a thoroughbred. Fon seemed to be a sweet girl, and didn’t want to be working in the bars, but was just another poor Isaan farm girl who had to work to support her extended family; of course, they all thought she was working at Pizza Hut, which is the same bullshit story she threw my way when I returned to Australia. She told me she had wanted to make me happy and had left the bar and picked up a waitress job at Pizza Hut, but it didn’t pay as well as the bar, and she needed me to send her money so she could survive (on-forward it to her family back on the farm). As far as I knew, Pizza Hut doesn’t require you to carry condoms in your handbag to work and I never sent any money, but was happy to stay in touch for when I returned in 5 months, but the phone calls eventually stopped, and she is now back working in the bar (which I am sure she never left anyway). But, she had to earn a living, and I respect that…and I never intended to marry her or take her back to Australia anyway.
I find it astonishing the pressure a family puts on a young girl to send money back home; it still to this day blows me away. I recall sitting at a road side restaurant with Fon, and a brand new Toyota 4WD drove past. I indicated that it was the same as my car back home in Australia. Fon then indicated to me that it was also the same as the brand new vehicle her father just purchased back on the farm which nearly knocked me off my seat. I said to her 'you mean to tell me you are working in a bar while your family is cruising around in a brand new 4WD?" Fon then stated that it was because she was working in the bar that her family could afford said brand new 4WD! I just had to keep telling myself, this is Thailand!
There have been other girls, but probably none worth mentioning in my many trips to Thailand. Now, here is where things do a back flip!
I was trolling through Facebook a few months ago, trying to find Fon, as I thought it would be nice to let her know I would be back in a few months and would be keen to catch up (my girlfriend had deleted her number from my phone – I am now single). But, as you can imagine, there are about 2000 girls named Fon on Facebook. After about an hour, I couldn’t believe my eyes, I had found her (or so I thought – remember, it had probably been two years since I had seen her). A friend request was quickly sent. A few days later I sent a quick hello and asked her how life was in Phuket, which was met with much confusion.
It turns out, this was not the "Fon" I was looking for, as this "Fon" lived in Bangkok and had never been to Phuket. So, we struck up a conversation, I think purely out of bored interest and it was revealed that this “Fon” was a degree qualified accountant for a large company in Bangkok. A few more questions over the next two hours and it seems she is 27, has a brother and sister at university and is of Chinese / Thai decent. Her father owns a number of businesses and does quite well, and the family has a house on the outskirts of central Bangkok. We talked over MSN Messenger for a number of hours. I kept it light-hearted, not really knowing what was happening at all. Over the next few weeks we spoke daily, exchanged photos and talked about our lives, jobs and respective families.
Early on I was very cautious, and so was she. There were a number of questions from her that I knew were "test" questions, which I think I passed with flying colours, except on one occasion when I was heavily drunk late one night and on the border of passing out when I received a phone call from her. Over the next few minutes prior to passing out I apparently said something inappropriate in my drunken state, and was informed the next day of this. I told her I was very sorry. This didn’t seem to make a difference and an hour was spent explaining that I was very drunk and quite lonely that night, and by saying I wanted her there in my bed in no way indicated I thought she was a bad girl. She said, as long as I never disrespected her again, then she would forgive me. (We all know what I was really thinking!)
I have known Fon for over three months now; we talk online daily, and on the phone 2 – 3 times per week. She speaks excellent English, which helps. Prior to meeting her I had planned to go to Thailand shortly anyway, so I booked a ticket a month ago and am going to Thailand to see her TOMORROW. She has told her mother (Chinese) about me, but not her father (Thai) yet. She said she needs to meet me first and know I am a good man, before she takes that step. She stated that when I come back a second time, in February, I will meet her family then. We now know each other quite well, her friends are all educated and well-to-do girls, and some with families of their own and Fon has planned for me to meet a number of them over the next few weeks.
I have planted a few test questions of my own. She was incredibly offended when I informed her that a "friend" told me that all Thai girls were just interested in farangs for their money and stated very directly that she didn’t want my money and didn’t want / need anything from me! She tested me on my knowledge of the Thai bar scene, and stated that the girls in those "places" were from up country and not to be trusted. I think the word she used was "devious” (oh god, if only she knew how right she was). She tested me a number of times as to why, at 34 years of age, I was not married or didn’t have any children… I eventually convinced her I had just not met the right girl yet, which is actually true.
She is funny, cheeky and intelligent and has the aforementioned thoroughbred physique. She likes to dine in nice restaurants (as I do) and is off to an expensive resort for her annual new year's celebrations with two of her girlfriends, which is something I like, as I think it shows she is self sufficient when it comes to money…AND SHE HAS A LIFE, WHICH I THINK IS FANTASTIC!
We will meet in two days for the first time. She is going to pick me up from my hotel and we will go sightseeing for the day, and or course, have a friend with her, as it’s not the Thai way to meet me for the first time alone, apparently. The next night we will meet an Australian friend of mine who has married a Thai lady and they now have a baby together which will be a very good social test for us. We have a number of outings booked over the next few weeks, and many many restaurants and a trip to the beach. We are talking about spending 2 weeks together on Krabi in February, but this will all depend on the success of this initial trip. We have discussed a holiday for her in Australia but she is nervous and apprehensive, stating that when I eventually meet her family, if they say yes, then she would love to visit for a holiday in my country.
I had indicated that I would pay for a number of outings we have planned, and was quickly informed that I don’t need to pay for everything, or pay so much, and that she will ensure I am not "fleeced" by her fellow Thai countrymen. She has taught me a lot about Thai culture and what it's like to be a Thai woman, as I have taught her about my Australian culture. I have managed to get her to understand that if we ever did enter into a relationship, that it would have to be 50% Thai and 50% Australian and she understands this concept, and, I think, is actually a little excited about it. I have read many stories on Stickman’s site regarding western men in relationships with Thai women whereby the whole relationship seems to revolve around the Thai culture. While I love the Thai culture, I am keen to not have it dominate my life. (Am I just dreaming here, or has anyone actually pulled this off?)
Every time I bring up the subject of a relationship, she is the one who puts the breaks on, and says we must go slow, and get to now each other properly (which I like). <You talked (or even thought) about marriage before you even met her. WTF! – Stick> She has accepted that she also must take on board the Australian culture if this is going to be successful as I have accepted that I must take on board the Thai culture. I have got her to accept things such as, wearing a bikini when on the beach with me (which is the norm for an attractive girl in Aus – albeit she will not exit the safety of the umbrella for fear of a dreaded "tan") and she has made me understand the importance of her family in her life and how it will impact on any relationship she has as well as things will move very very slowly for us, should we enter into a relationship, which is the Thai way.
Have I found the mythical Thai “good girl”? Have I stumbled upon what many of us thought was non existent, the "good Thai girl" with brains, personality and an inquisitive mind regarding different cultures and the world outside the Kingdom. Through extensive reading of this site and a number of visits to the Kingdom myself, I have tested her on every different scam I can think of, and she has passed with flying colours. I even called her work once, and was relieved when it turned out to be a real company with a real website and I was quickly put through to the accounting department where her PA took the call and put it through to her office. She regularly sends me emails from her work address, which of course has the company insignia etc, so I can confirm she is employed as indicated.
In two days I will know for sure if I have done the unthinkable and found an honest, educated, intelligent, self sufficient Thai girl… Stay tuned!
Good luck with her – she sounds like a good one. And take it slowly – that will be good for both of you!