Bargirls: Part 1

When I first came to Bangkok, my buddy told me about two after hours places where you can meet girls and pull them, and more often than not, they aren’t expecting payment (Well, that’s been his experience – I wanted to find out for myself). Spicy and Bossy. Apparently, a lot of them are bargirls that didn’t get picked up at their respective workplaces, there’s also a load of ladyboys – and mixed in are a few ordinary Thai girls there just looking to dance and have a good time (and hook up with a farang, I would guess). Anybody who’s been to Gaspanic in Tokyo – well, as far as I can tell, this is the BKK equivalent. (Interestingly enough, I HATED Gaspanic, but these two places in BKK I sorta dig – I’m just more of a daytime person when it comes to picking up girls – I like coffee shops, malls, even just walking around the street, so usually a place like this isn’t my thing).

Anyway, I was headed to Bossy, but the taxi driver took me to Boss CLUB instead (which was a bit irritating) – I guess I could have thrown a fit and made him take me to Bossy, but I figured “eh, whatever” – I’m here, I may as well go in and check it out. The place was empty – there were very few customers. I looked around and saw a short, cute girl, so just went up and started talking to her.

My conversations with Thai girls (bargirl / non bar girl) pretty much consist of the same shit I would say when I talked to Japanese girls (and Korean and Chinese – lots of those in Japan) while living in Tokyo. Basically, I just try to have fun (smile a lot, laugh a lot, just have a good time), and not take anything too seriously – I joke around a lot, tease them, and rarely give a straight answer to anything – at least initially. Why? Because it’s more fun for me to fool around and have some good laughs than have some inane conversation about the same stupid shit that everybody talks about. In Tokyo (and here, and in every city), every girl asks the same questions (Where are you from, what do you do…etc etc – these are obviously normal questions, but after giving the same answer over and over, it gets boring – so my answers changed from “I’m from America” and “I’m an English teacher” to “I’m Korean / Chinese / Japanese” (I’m Caucasian) and “I’m a sumo wrestler” (I’m 165cm and 52 kg.) Besides, I want to get a sense of the girl, and her demeanor. If I’m gonna spend any significant amount of time with a girl, I want her to have a sense of humor and be playful and not too serious (like me). Also, the quicker a girl laughs, the quicker she gets comfortable being around me. (Surprisingly, I’ve found more than a handful of Thai girls that are VERY serious – mostly, the non-bar girls that I’ve hung out with – but even a few of the working girls are sort of sullen and don’t laugh much) – I just didn’t really expect to see a lot of that here. Actually, more than a few of the working girls are sort of sullen – I like to hang out at the Biergarten in soi 7 sometimes, and it’s interesting that when I speak a little Thai, and tell them I live in BKK, they aren’t too interested in getting to know me – which is fine – I’m not gonna pay for somebody unless she’s premium quality AND is fun to get along with. It’s funny how these girls seem to think they are doing me some huge favor by sitting down by me and expecting me to buy them drinks and dote on them.

As far as conversations go, one difference between J-girls and Thai girls is that Thai girls are more selective about what they think is funny. I have found that out through trial and error over the past month that I’ve been here. Anybody who’s been to Japan can tell you that Japanese girls laugh at everything. It’s ridiculous. But Thai girls, well, I read somebody make a post herewhere he said that jokes are wasted on Thai girls, and that the most they can laugh at is slapstick humor. I don’t really agree with this 100% but I have found that they are definitely not as giggly as J-girls (but what girls are?). I think a lot of it is learning the culture a little bit and adapting to it, as well as learning the language, and I definitely will talk a little more seriously with Thai girls. I guess I sort of mix it up a lot – I mean, I want to be entertained, but there is a lot to be said about really trying to get to know a girl (as well as having her get to know me) – so, if I become interested in her, I will tone it down a little. Of course, it’s also possible that I’m just not as funny as I think I am, so they don’t laugh as much as I’m used to. (Probably true) – and as far as bar girls go, if I joke around and they don’t like it, they can go talk to somebody else.

So I smile at this girl, sit at a table next to her and a bunch of her friends, and say “sawatdee krap”. She’s really friendly (a bargirl at an empty bar being friendly – go figure) and we start talking a little bit – she asks me what I do, and I tell her I’m a tuktuk driver – she laughs at this, then we just start shooting the shit a bit, and dancing, etc etc.

I like her – she’s cute, small, and has big breasts (something I didn’t see a lot in Japan) – but I know she’s a bar girl, so I tell her that I have a Thai girlfriend who’s at her home outside BKK, and ask her “is that ok?” – she says yes (of course) and we go to play some pool. At this point I get a phone call from my buddy, and I’m sort of ready to go anyway, so I tell her it’s my girlfriend, and that she’s coming back and wants to see me. So, I get her number and tell her I’ll call her when I have some free time.

Well, I used that to get out of there, and then went to Spicy. I had never been there before, and wanted to check it out. So, I’m there for about 30 minutes, and lo and behold, this same girl shows up. I kinda laugh a bit and said something like “I decide to play more” or some BS, and she smiles and sorta walks off – her friend that was with her at Boss club looked really surprised to see me, too. About 10 minutes later I decide to find her, and her and her friend are standing near some table, so I go up to them and start at it again. There’s not a lot of talking to be done at Spicy (too loud), but I get my point across that I’m glad she’s there and we all just start dancing and having a good ‘ol time. The problem is, this girl drinks like a fish (I quit drinking about 7 years ago – I don’t mind if she drinks, but I know if she gets too drunk, she’ll be irritating) – so I ask her if she wants to go home with me, and she says “yes” – at this point I’m not really sure what she’s expecting in terms of money. I haven’t mentioned it, and neither has she – but it turns out to be a moot point, because we get to my crib and she’s so drunk I just tuck her into bed and we fall asleep.

She woke up the next day, and woke me up to let me know that she was leaving.

A few weeks pass, and I have been thinking about her a bit, so we finally meet up at Bossy (we had messaged a few times over the few weeks, planning to meet, but nothing worked out) – so we go there, and this time I make sure she doesn’t drink a lot, and we get out of there and go to my apartment. She wasn’t so good in the sack, which was disappointing, but what we did after definitely made up for it.

She remembered quite a bit about me from the first time we met (which surprised me since she was so drunk) – mainly that I lived in Japan for a few years, and also that I used to be a computer geek (and that I had a laptop) – so she asks me if I can help her with her Hotmail account – she hasn’t logged on in months, and doesn’t know what to do with it even if she COULD log on.

But first, she wants to see pictures of the Japanese girls I dated when I was in Japan – I found this to be strange – I can understand a girlfriend being curious and wanting to know other girls I’ve dated, look at pictures, sizing them up, etc etc, but a bar girl? I didn’t really get it – actually, I still don’t. Why would she care? If anything, it would give her a complex because they are all light skinned (except for the ganguro and yamamba – and I never dated any of those) – but I showed her anyway.

So then we check her email, and see a bunch of emails from farangs who “love her”, “miss her”, “think about her all the time”, etc etc. And she asks me to WRITE THEM BACK FOR HER. I mean, I’ve been in internet cafés and noticed some Thai girl who speaks little English with her somewhat English speaking bar-girl friend helping her send messages, but I am just stunned that this chick is asking me to do it. At first I sorta felt bad for the guys I was writing to – It’s strange reading some love letter from some guy, realizing that the girl really couldn’t give two shits about him, then writing some BS back. (But I got over feeling bad, it was just way too interesting an experience to pass up). If anybody reading this thinks I’m a jackass for doing it – you may be right – but at least it shows how the game is played here with these girls, and snaps one back into reality a bit.

I also used this as a way to have some fun with her. I just started typing shit like:

“Hi xxxx, I miss you SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Please come to Thailand and marry me!!!!”

She started to read this, then start laughing and hitting me and say NO NO NO!!!!

So I changed it and basically said shit like:

“Hi xxxx. when come see me? I miss you so much hope BKK soon. me call please”

Of course, I had to make the English horrid. And I didn’t use spell check –

As crazy as it sounds, I was actually sort of honored that she asked me to do it. Not honored in the sense that she thinks I’m her friend and she can trust me, confide in me, or any of that BS – but that she looks at me kinda like her, just going from woman to woman (she’s going from man to man, of course), and not really caring about too much emotional attachment. Just having some good fun (in her case, making some money), then going on my way. She knows I don’t want anything serious from her, and that I also won’t be wiring thousands of baht to her bank account (and that even if I DID like her, I’m not gonna do that), and that I probably won’t ever call her again anyway. (I haven’t).

Maybe that’s not what she thinks, I really don’t know – that’s the only logical thing I could think of. Regardless, it was a fascinating experience.

Stickman's thoughts:

I hate to say it but once again, there's something about the tone of your writings that really grates. Maybe it was because your submission contained excessive and totally unnecessary profanity that has all been removed.