Readers' Submissions

Leum-Ta

  • Written by Will
  • July 6th, 2009
  • 7 min read



I'd like to start off saying this: I've never been to Thailand.

I plan on moving there once I've left college, hopefully to grab an embassy style job or teaching something other than English (possibly engineering, as that's my current major). I do also plan on residing in Bangkok.

What's with all the "farang" this and "coconut farang" crap? Can't we just say something more simple, like, "person?" Or address people by nationality? The connotations for these words are certainly nothing less than belittling, albeit unintentionally in some cases.

My experience with Thailand happens to come from our foreign exchange student. She's an 18 year old, beautiful girl from Bangkok. I didn't fall in love with her (save for the fact that she is part of my family, as if she were born in), but I did indeed discuss much about Thailand and Thai culture with her. She was… very, very uninterested in discussing her culture (which is easy to understand, as the aim of her trip was to learn mine), and just like any other girl I know, she'd snap at me whilst on the rag, or stress an upcoming math test, or worry about what pair of shoes to wear.

One of my biggest points that I'll be making is that American men who travel to Thailand and have that same "I can't believe she did this to me, how could she" story (that has, due to redundancy, lost its ability to pull at the heart) are, for the most part, retarded. Some just have big hearts, sure… but why would they think that a girl in one country that makes a living off of sex would behave any differently in another culture? Their "upbringing?"

I've read all of the "Things you should know about dating Thai girls" posts that have been written. Why? Well, as I've noticed when looking at pictures of Namtan's (Her nickname… we call her Brown sugar, as the spelling is acceptable for both words) friends, I notice that they're all gorgeous. I just, for some reason, notice the more subtle things about Asian women. How they may have just one dimple to the side when they smile, or how they wrinkle their nose when they laugh. Whatever an American notices about American women that he may like is what I notice about Asian women. So what? The biggest, most simple universal truth I've learned from living with an 18 year old girl from 15,000 miles across the world is this – girl's true behavior doesn't change that much. Yeah, there's cultural differences… for example, when Faith (my younger, actual sister of the same age) gets told, "No, you can't do this," she makes no hesitation to flip the bitch switch. Namtan will take the same answer in stride, saying nothing more than, "Ok," but then she'll dart straight for her room for an hour or more, depending on how bad she wanted to do activity x.

They both go goo-goo gah gah over the Jonas Brothers, watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 religiously, love the hip-hop crap and MTV, and watch chick flicks. They both like to associate with gay guys and do everything but weigh their purses out against one another (for they are each convinced their purse is far superior). They both say phrases such as, "Fucking bullshit!" or "What the hell!" when I hit them with a red shell playing Mario Kart Wii. They both take an OBSCENE amount of time in the bathroom.

The primary difference is how they view parents, not men; I think their opinions on men are absolutely no different. For example, Namtan was asked out by a Laotian boy in her study group. She politely refused, telling us that he "was a dork, and I just wasn't in to him. But he's sweet and cute!" My sister would normally respond with the same answer to a dude in his clique (come on, high school is a stereotype breeding ground). However, a boy that asked her to homecoming was definitely uglier than this guy. He may have been fifty or more pounds overweight (Hey, I'm 6'2 coming in at 290, so I know all about that), but he is probably the nicest guy I know. Why? He opens the door for women, says "Yes ma'am" to girls younger than him (I'm guilty of that) and has this undying respect for women. He asked her out by giving her a cheap teddy bear with a single orange lily (her favorite; he asked me for help, which I agreed under the preface that if she came home crying, so would he) in one of the bear's arms and a note with a giant ass, cheap ass lolly pop in the other. She literally cooed, I believe. Faith just wouldn't shut up about how unbelievably sweet she thought it was. American women- would you have told that kid no?

I think girls in Thailand, American, Zimbabwe, wherever, all are into the same things- being genuinely sweet, confident, thoughtful, and most of all, very respectful and friendly. Girls even in high school in America don't like to date guys that won't be the Tech Club President's friend. Who would? Are there exceptions to that rule? Of course, but that's only because aforementioned traits were displayed during courtship. Girls want to feel that you don't want in between their legs; they want to feel that you truly want to know what shirt they bought at MBK today (or any mall) or why their stomach is slightly upset; they are completely nuts for the guy that wants to know why she prefers what kind of shoes she wears. They'd rather feel that a guy is truly in to (insert name) the girl, not (same name) the body (All women are beautiful somehow, guys)! They just want to know that no matter what happens, you're proud to take care of them because you like them. I think that can definitely be looked past by even the most rigid upbringing; a Thai girl would definitely rather date an average American who exempts these qualities than, say, a super popular, handsome Thai guy that has a PhD in Douchebaggery. The same is reciprocated; if an American that excels in being a penis and a Thai that's a truly nice guy go after an American girl, who do you think she'd pick? Unless she makes her money doing things better left unsaid, she's going with the sweet guy.

There's not that much cultural about it; culture determines who speaks first, and that's about it. There's no technique to netting a wonderful, kind Asian girl. There's just being you (except if you're a douche, then you're out of luck). The same is true of American girls, German girls, Chinese girls, South African girls… why do people try to place race or culture so much in the way of things? Are there some girls from every country who'd refuse to date or talk to a guy born from a different patch of ground? Certainly… but they're extremely rare. Why would you be pursuing such a bitch anyway? If something as truly minute as skin tint is a priority for her, you can rest assured that a solid knock to her forehead will send her running down the street for her grey matter.

It's about the heart and soul, no matter the road, city, county, state/province, country, or continent. In the end… you know, the long run- when everything's said and done… nice guys finish first.

There's no grand mystery to "Things foreigners don't get about Thais" or "Blah Blah" because when you get down to it, each of those posts or titles can easily be replaced with "Things People don't get about People."

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That's all I have to say about that.

Stickman's thoughts:

Sure, people of different nationalities ad ethnicities do have a lot in common, but I would suggest to you that while yes, there are many similarities, there are many, many nuances about dating Thais that just don't apply to others! You'll discover that soon enough when you make it out here.