Stickman Readers' Submissions April 28th, 2009

My Good Girl

The submission from "a Real Thai Girl" was right on point! I have taken Stick's ideas about choosing a Thai lady to heart and was delighted to see them confirmed. MB Girl gave us a peek at what a middle class Thai woman is all about. I do sincerely hope that at least a few Stickman readers will discover that a “good” Thai lady is a better choice over a bargirl. I would expect that there are many Thai women that are much like this lady and perhaps from different backgrounds and education levels. This wonderful gal obviously comes from an excellent family that has provided her with good values. I hope that we will have a chance to hear more from her and her friends as well. It was very surprising to learn that MB Girl's friends were interested in Western men but didn't know where to meet them. It occurs to me that a number of Stickman readers have had the same question. Something of an irony here.

After a nasty divorce almost 14 years ago I remain single, and more than a bit suspicious of a relationship with a western woman. Having tried relationships with a few western gals over the years has only confirmed my suspicions of western women. Having said that, I still feel the pangs of loneliness on occasion, and when I approached my 60th birthday I decided that I would look for a Thai lady. Why a Thai Lady? When I was in the military and sent to Vietnam many years ago I would travel to Thailand whenever I could and indulge myself with very lovely bargirls. I have never lived in Thailand but I have been a visitor to the Kingdom a number of times over the years and enjoyed the lovely bargirls. While my experience was very pleasurable the “pay to play” part of the experience was not going to be a big part of my life. I never considered a bargirl as a possible mate. My thinking was a nice Thai lady just might have some of those same endearing qualities without the overhead.

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My first attempt was online and produced a lady from Isaan. Let's call her Nik. I took some vacation time from work and traveled to Isaan to meet Nik. After a few days I was whisked off to meet her family. They were polite except for the man that was obviously drunk, seated on the floor behind me. He would interrupt the conversation from time to time. The rest of her family just ignored him so I stopped turning around when he spoke and ignored him as well. There was a woman that I liked, I believe an Aunt, who was older and heavy set, but had a great personality. I enjoyed her company. We tried an impromptu “English lesson” that was well received with much laughter and applause when she did well. A sister facilitated the family meeting as she spoke good English, and I know very little Thai. The sister was a good gal and I believe, honest with me. If you haven't guessed, the sit down with her family was about “our marriage” much to my surprise. When we were chatting online I had asked Nik if she had children and the answer was no. Yes, I read it right NO CHILDREN. I tried not to show my shock and surprise when Nik's 5 to 7 year old daughter was introduced to me.. At my age I simply do not want small children. So there was no future for us. When she offered to leave her daughter with her mother and go to America with me I could have puked! I later discovered that Nik had hired a ladyboy that spoke good English to chat with me. I would see her on her cam but he was out of site typing her response (or was it ladyboys?) The plan was to pay ladyboy for Internet and translation services from the sin sot I paid! I don't know if any family was involved in this scheme, but the sister tipped me off. Remembering the Thai face thing I backed out of the family meeting by saying I would need to think about sin sot. Later I did give mother 20,000 baht as I was told she had borrowed money for the wedding. I remember thinking at the time that I was probably ripped off, but not being 100% sure I paid up <You were ripped off, sure! – Stick>. I also bought them a pile of groceries. I was asked to pay ladyboy for his services. I think it was 10,000 baht! I refused and let me say the Farang ATM concept is alive and well in that part of Thailand. I cut my trip to Kalasin short and traveled to Bangkok with my billfold light about 30,000 baht total. Ok, yes, I got ripped off, but I was so happy to get out the money seemed like a small price to pay.

Not being inclined to give up, I contacted a Bangkok-based introduction service and on very short notice they arranged introductions to a number of very nice Thai ladies. I narrowed it down to 2 very lovely ladies. I finally chose a lady that was closer to my age at 44. She is very fit for her age and had a genuine warmth about her. Her family, sisters and two grown children are polite, educated, and just very nice respectable people. She is from Korat and has other family members there that I have not met. She has been in Bangkok for 20 years. Her parents have passed away. Her children go to University and her sisters are employed professionals. She is simple and uncomplicated but very bright and is quick to learn. In short, my gal, and her family are very much middle class Thais. I have never been asked for money and have had to insist on paying from time to time. She says "Money not important to me. It better to have money but other thing more important". Her actions have confirmed what she said. I bought her new shoes and reading glasses. My idea, not hers. She wanted to go to the street vendors outside a mall in Bangkok because “it cheaper”. I insisted that she get good shoes and have her eyes checked. (1000 baht for exam, prescription, and custom-made lens and frames 35 USD. Mine cost 10x that is the US!) I got the response I have heard many time from Thai women “up to you”. I have spent many delightful hours, days, and weeks with my lovely gal. Like MB Girl she is not embarrassed to be seen in public with me. She doesn't know any bargirls and has no idea what Nana Plaza is. I am sure that it never occurred to her that she might be mistaken for a bargirl when she was with me. We are waiting on a K-1 visa to bring her to America.

So there you have it! A good, established introduction service may work for those in search of the elusive Thai lady. You really do need to take time to get to know each other. I think while there are cultural differences, many of the things we try to do in a western relationship are the same with Thai ladies. When I was talking to my special lady about our future I kept getting the “up to you” response. When I explained to her that American couples generally make decisions together as the man was interested in his partner's happiness with the decision she seemed to like that idea and said “thank you for all you make for me”.

I would like to thank MB Girl for taking the time to create such a well written article. Although my gal is not a university graduate she shares the same values attitudes and hopes of MB Girl. (She asked me if she could go to university in America.) Her article really hit at the heart for me when I realized that without a doubt I had found a very good Thai lady. I have read her post 5 or 6 times. Your words truly spoke to my heart as I could see my lovely gal within your article. Thank you MB Girl from the depths of my heart.

Stickman's thoughts:

Good to hear that you have met a good one!

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