Stickman Readers' Submissions October 18th, 2008

Your Inner Wolf

Yes mens, we all have an inner wolf! Wedgie mens will try to deny it. They will tell us they are not racist even a little bit. They will tell us they would never cheat on there wife. They will tell us that they will not sleep with there sisters. They would tell us that they have never pissed in a punch bowl. They would tell us they would never scatter tiny tacks on the road right before a bicycle race goes by (HAHAHAHAAHAHA!). Wedgie mens lie! Denying there inner wolf is precisely the reason they are wedgie mens!

He Clinic Bangkok


Tonight I am sitting in a beer bar. One of my womens sends me a naked photo on my cell phone. I picks up my cell phone and hold it up to see and there she is in all her naked glory winking at me if you no what I means. Suddenly it feels like someone is poking my muscular triceps with a 12” John Holmes dildo. I look to see what is putting indentations in my arm but I saw nothing. Then I here “no flotos in the bar mister.” I still see nothing, but then I see this fat pudgy finger rise from the floor attached to this fat bloated arm and aim itself at my tricep. Looking down I see a 150kg bowling ball with a really ugly picture painted on the top that I think is a face.


“No floto mister!”


I say “I am not taking photos, someone sent me a photo and I’m looking at it.”

CBD bangkok


“No floto in bar mister!”


I will not boar you with the following exchange, but let us say this ugly bowling ball of a womens would not shut her mouth. We all know womens should shut the fuck up unless we gives them the okay to speak so I am loosing patience and all I want to do is insert my three fingers and roll her down the alley. But, probably not a good idea eh? Blackest Bart could take on maybe 10-15 Thai mens, but their was more than that in the area. So instead I let my mind have fun. I picture her falling and hitting her fat face on the floor and I am laughing inside. I then picture pouring flower all over her naked body and looking for the wet spot and I am laughing more. I then picture running her threw a table saw and I am no longer annoyed, but instead amused! The inner wolf is my friend. I put away the cell phone and Ms. Bowling Ball goes away.


Now I leave and am walking down Soi 7 and all the girls are watching Blackest Bart hoping I will look there way. Bar girls do nothing for me. But inside a tailor shop I see a man and his very nice looking wife so I go inside. To everyone else it looks like I am fingering the fabrics but no. Blackest Bart is imagining bending this nice looking wife over the padded chair Kobe style and having my way with her while her 20 year older husband is being measured by the gay tailor. Inner wolf no?


Your ‘inner wolf’ is like having a little devil in your ear. He is always telling you the fun things you could do. You are walking down the streets and you see a police car left running and the plod chasing a minority down the street. Now you have a pair of inner wolfs. One is screaming “CATCH THE MINORITY AND BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM!” And the other is screaming “GET IN THE PATROL CAR AND TAKE IT FOR A HIGH SPEED RIDE THREW TOWN!” Some times you have to decide which inner wolf to listen to. In this case I am imagining taking the patrol car, chasing down the minority and making him trip so the fat plod can catch him, and THEN racing through downtown with the lights and siren howling.

wonderland clinic


Why do we forsake our inner wolf? Because the world is full of wedgie mens! Remember, only 10-15% of mens are real mens. The wedgie mens have taken over and made us care about things like political correctness, womens ‘rights’, and of course adultery. This makes cents, wedgie mens get really angry when the real mens bonk there wives so of course they make some “moral” and tell us we must live by it. We want to take that patrol car, but we know the wedgie mens will put us in jail. They will tell you it is because you stole the patrol car, but really it is because if you are in jail you can not be bonking there wives.


Now I am in Siam Paragon looking at the new Veybron convertible. What better way to spend about 45 million baht! The very hot 25 year old hot and toned beauty is showing me the glove soft leather seats, bending over and rubbing her hand across the leather. She thinks I am listening to her. Nyet! I am mentally pulling up her skirt over her fine round ass, pulling down her obvious thong with the little white bow, and doing her from behind like a real wolf while howling at the moon. She says something and I lose the mental picture, and then I see her staring at my groin because the inner wolf has legs if you know what I mean. HAHAHAHHAHA! This girl, she nos all about the inner wolf in Blackest Bart. She took me to her private office and showed me her inner bitch. So you see, some times it is possible to let your inner wolf out for a good run around the block eh?


Ever been to a Japanese restaurant where you eat off the body of a perfect young and naked blond womens? These are fun places and the sashimi is very tasty. HAHAHAHAHA! Tonight there walks in a group of university student hot and toned beauties all giggling and having a good time. Their must be ten or twelves of them and they are all wearing school girls clothes. Very short skirts with bare legs and maybe no panties, and white blouses. Each one is unique and perfect. Every cup size is represented by this bunch. They take one look at the naked blond with salmon covering her pubic mound and gasp putting there hands over there perfect lips before turning to go. Using my chopsticks to remove a piece of sashimi revealing a very excited female part underneath and while chewing your Blackest Bart’s inner wolf has me imagining that yours truly is laying naked on the table covered in raw fishes while these hot and toned beauties undress me piece by piece while they keep coming back for the WASABI if you know what I mean.. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Blackest Bart is having a good time today!


Every mens has Le Inner Wolfe. How much exercise you give him is a personal thing, but for sure wedgie mens never let their inner wolf run. Real mens do. Real mens use there inner wolf every chance they get because it is fun. Some times you want to suppress your inner wolf more than others. I give you example no?


The other day I one of my many girlfriends calls me. She uses the phone just like Aha. Ever since I caught Aha leaning out the window yelling “BLACKEST BARRRTTTT” when he thinks I am 400km’s away I have given him a hard time and making sure he uses the phone. So, this particular girlfriend is more than hot and toned. She is super white hot hot hot and could easily be on the cover of Maxim or FHM. She calls me “Blackest Bart, my mother is in town, can we all go out to dinner?” NO, Blackest Bart is not pussy whipped. But if I was, she has the only pussy that could do it. I say yes not because I am pussy whipped, but because my inner wolf is whispering in my ear “Blackest Bart, lets find out if mommy is a MILF?” And then she said “and my little sister wants to come to.” Remember what I said about having two inner wolf’s some times?


Now, we are at this nicest place on the river side. The band is playing, the wind is breezy, the river she is beautiful eh? And I am early so I sees them walking towards me. The Maxim/FHM model, the MILF, and Lolita the 20 year old sister who looks 12. We sit down and we are given menus. My inner wolfs are biting my inner ears in a big way. The menu pages, all I can see are small pictures of sexual positions. Me and her. Me and little sis. Me and the MILF. Me, her and little sis. Me, her, little sis and MILF! And then I hears “what would you like to order sir?” And I’m thinking YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!


All threw the dinner I am imagining dear old mom laying naked on the table, little sis under the table, her watching on with a huge smile on her face. Then they switch. MILF under the table, her and little sis on top of the table. Then all three on top of the table. Then all four of us.. it was a big table! When dinner was done the waitress interrupts my thoughts with a “what would you like for desert sir?” YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! We all walk out of the restaurant and your Blackest Bart’s knees are shaking. She turns to me and thanks me for coming and I said “thank you for a good time, we will be leaving now.” She says “we?” Me and my inner wolf’s of course.


Today I am in the lift going down. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! And we stops on the mezzie, and this hot looking 25 year old hot and toned Japanese woman walks in the car followed by two younger sisters. The door closes and she presses floor 33. I am going to floor 34. 30 more floors to go on a slow lift with three beautiful Japanese sisters, your Blackest Bart, and his inner wolf’s. AHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!

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