Readers' Submissions

PHIT 18 – Who Cheats More?

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 25th, 2008
  • 6 min read



Me I hope you have been reading each week and keeping up with the latest news from the two greatest stickmen in Thailand Bart and Aha of course. For sure, if you haven’t been reading go back and read PHIT 13 first. Me I mentioned the famous X-Files actor David Danchovy in there and how his wife had forced him to go into treatment for HaHaHaHaHaAha “sex addiction’. Remember me Aha said that this was total bullshit? Now David is out of treatment and guess what Stickies? Oh yeah! The ultimate revenge. Yes sireee!!!! This is sweet.

David Danchovy and his wife Téa Leoni have split up after the actor allegedly discovered explicit text messages on her mobile phone sent by Billy Bob Thornton. You could not make up this shit if you tried could you? There was that self-righteous little bitch dragging David’s name thorough the mud and cursing him as a sex addict when he was just doing what comes naturally. Meanwhile she was out there banging other men too. How two faced can you get? But that is what womens do guys. Believe you me, plenty of womens are out there getting heaps more sex than us poor guys. What really hurts is the shit they heap on our heads while professing to be so pure and virginal.

Frankly me I do not blame Téa. If me Aha was a womans Billy Bob Thornton wouldn’t be safe from my depredations either. He’s one hunk of a man and a great actor. Still and all that don’t excuse Téa’s two-faced attack on David do it? Don’t they say what is good for the goose is good for the gander eh?

Hey! Who do you think Bart and me are banging most of the time? Not your young unmarried virgin women that’s for sure. Oh yeah we do bang a few but on the hole we are banging married womens. Who nos? Maybe your wife or girlfriend has had the pleasure of our company. Believe me Aha good buddies and not that little strumpet you so proudly tote around on yourn arm. She be telling you lies for sure if she say she is faithful to you all the time.

Me I will let you in on a little secret. Us guys we have strong sex urges all the time eh? I bet you don’t know that the pure little virgin you been chasing has even stronger urges than you. She don’t tell you this becauz she don’t want you thinking she be a whore and a slut eh? HaHaHaHaHaAha! That be a right you go ahead and laugh. Me I don’t care if a woman she is sweet and virginal looking or a total slut. Once you sweet talk any woman and I mean ANY WOMANS you gonna get her panties off and she be banging you harderun a brothel door in a financial surge. Nothing wrong with that eh? Except these womens they want they cock and eat it too!!! Don’t you go shaking your head now. No sireee! No way Jose. Don’t forget! Womens are just as horny as you are!!!

So you read on here and see what Aha he has to tell you about this.

Hands up all those who cheat on their wives and/or girlfriends?

Sure. All of you do. Even if you don’t actually bang womens you brain sure is working overtime wishing you could eh? Didn’t the Bible say something about not coveting your neighbor’s wife? Yes, that means YOU. When you looking at another womans not your own you is breaking the holy law. Now you can just guess who made up THAT law eh? Some damn woman for sure!!!

Ok. So you admint now you is cheating. If you be married you can have the pleasure of seeing three new letters after your name now: MBA. Stand for Married But Available. Oh year! For sure you is gone be cheating every day all day if you is anything like Bart and me. If them womens walking down the street only knew what we mens is thinking as we pass by they would be mortified. Or maybe they wouldn’t eh?

How many of you walk past a beautiful womans and think to yourself you would like to get her clothes off. Maybe you would like to do something real kinky with her. Even when you see a real ugly girl with a hot and toned body me I bet you is thinking you would bang her with a bag over her head eh? Come on. Fess up! We ALL do it.

What about the nun that walked past you the other day? Yeah you know the one I mean. She was young and perky with a sweet face huh?. For sure you was thinking how kinky it would be to get under her habit so you could get to become a habit for her every day eh? Or what about that MILF down the road? The one that wears glasses and doesn’t wear makeup when she goes out but she has a great body. She won’t even talk to you when you walk past and say Hello. But deep down in that sex-starved mind of yours you is thinking yum yum, I sure would like to jump on her bum!

Do you honestly think them womens are not doing the same thing? How many times have you looked up and caught a womans looking at you? Did you notice where her eyes were? She had to lift her head up to look at you when she realized you was looking at her. Yeah buddy. She was looking at your crotch and wondering just what your Oompakorn looks like.

There is a myth that Asian womens are not like western womens. They don’t have sexual feelings unless you arouse them in a private bedroom and even then you have to tear that damned towel off her as she cowers so shyly there. Oh really? If you believe that me I have some great real estate for sale in the Florida swamps just for you. These Asian womens, even the Muslim womens, they are all HORNY! Why do you think there is so many Asians huh? Yeah that’s right. Every chance they get they is out there humping and thumping every cock they can get they hot little hands on. Ooooohwaaaah yeah!

One of the coolest things about living in Thailand is the friendly Thai smile. You can walk anywhere in this great land and be smiling at a beautiful girl. Will she scowl and scurry past like her Western sister would? No sireeee! She be smiling right back. Maybe she will give a shy little giggle too and scurry on past. Do you know what she be thinking? Sure you do if you stop thinking about what YOU want. She be thinking you have a nice smile and if you have a nice smile maybe your Oompakorn will smile nicely for her too eh? Don’t stop to think about it. Turn right around and chase after that little sweet thing and start talking to her. Use any corny pick up line you like. If she be smiling sweetly at you she don’t care what line you use to open the conversation. Tell her you loved her smile. That will open up possibilities right there. The next possibility if you plays your card right will be opening her legs as well.

Which brings me to a question many people around the world ask all the time. Which sex cheats more on their partner; womens or mens?

Me I say IT DON’T MATTER!

Just be happy that womens have the same or stronger sex drive than we mens. Get out there and start pussy hunting guys. Me I want to hear cries coming from all over the city, “Samoa! Samoa! I want Samoa!”



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