Calculated Choices

Reading your readers' submission is as addictive as living in Thailand itself.

There are so many aspects about living in Thailand to talk about and something for everyone, besides just being there and enjoying the experience.

I lived there because I had a business on the go but like most guys I was addicted to the place because of the girls and the pussy…I was in fact…seriously addicted to pussy.

Some readers may say I was a monger…but I really could not bring myself to think of myself as a monger because I did my thing in a most gentlemanly manner.

I know…no excuses…have your go at me with all kinds of criticism and loathing if you want but I did what I did and have no remorse.

I did not drink or take drugs and I do not smoke and besides the pursuit of girls I was a somewhat model citizen and I had a good attitude about Thailand and towards the Thais.

I learned how to speak the language quite well and I always treated the girls with arm's length respect but with a certain degree of indifference…basically for my own sanity and to set the parameters in my favour…but not calculated in a cruel way by any means.

I can not remember just how many times I told myself I should settle down with 1 girl and simply remove myself from the bar scene and stay away from it.

Everyday I would be thinking: "I have to change my life style here and stop going to the golden triangle of sex (Patpong, Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy) if you include Thermae then it would be the four corners of sex.

My friends…well I should say acquaintances, would have a good laugh at all my sexual adventures and although I never boasted about them in a arrogant or proud way they were amazed at just how many girls I went with.

I mean…like so many guys I was paying for it and that allowed me to have near any girl I choose so I was well, well aware it was not my looks or charm that allowed me to have sex with so many girls…it was the money and that was fully understood and never clouded my thinking or my ego in any way.

I did not realize just how many girls I had been with until one of my friends one evening was laughing at how I was with another girl (he had a really seriously good looking Thai girlfriend but she was the jealous type beyond believe) and he started to estimate just how many girls I had been with.

At that time I had been there for 6 years and he asked me how many girls I went with in 1 week and I answered I did not really keep track of it.

He carried a pocket calculator with him as he was doing business there and he started to add it up on my behalf.

He asked if I went with 4 or 5 girls a week and I answered saying: it depended on how much money I had during any particular week.

I told him there was some weeks where I had a different girl each day and then there was some weeks where I only had 1 or sometimes 2 different girls in 1 week.

So he used the law of averages and we both agreed that for the last 6 years I went with at least 2 girls per week and maybe 4 girls per week, often enough, so the average would be 3 girls per week for the last 6 years so that would equal 52 weeks per year x 3 girls per week = 156 girls in a year x 6 years = 936 girls.

Well that figure seemed a little too much so he said: let's use 2 girls per week x the 52 weeks x 6 years and the figure is 624 girls.

It had not really dawned on me that I had been with that many girls and I realised for the last 6 years I had been with a LOT of girls.

But I stayed in the country for another 8 years and I did not and could not change my ways and as I made more money I spent more of it on sex and different girls.

I am not writing this to brag by any means but I had sex with well over 1000 different girls during all the years I stayed in Thailand.

I was a serious case of sex addiction and I never really let it bother me in any moral or questionable way because I kept on analysing my conduct and kept on telling myself I was doing something that many others were doing and what harm was it doing.

Well…we all know that it is not so innocent and a persons actions and conduct do have negative ramifications.

I could not help but thinking my addiction, as compared to other addictions, was a relatively harmless addiction as compared to say alcohol addiction or drug addiction.

But at the same time I knew it was not morally and or socially acceptable by the moral standards that we are all aware of.

But why could I not stop my addiction and my all consuming focus on girls and the delights of girls leading to sex.

I figured I was spending 80% of my income on sex and or the pursuit of sex.

My one friend said he would arrange an Epitaph on my gravestone that said: "Here lies so and so he spent all his money on women and sex…the rest he just wasted"

That made me laugh and but made me think that there are lots of good stories amongst men but the most endearing stories are stories about women and sex.

I know some righteous types will frown at that comment…but girls and pussy is the one male subject matter that makes us all part of the brotherhood and bonds us in a funny way.

I estimate I wore a condom 85% of the time and most of times when I did not wear a condom I had actually run out of them and when I was at that point of looking for a condom and not having one…well I went ahead anyhow.

Sometimes I suffered the negative ramifications of sex without a condom and I will admit I did contract STDs all too many times and I learned a lot about STDs and I also learned a lot about woman's vaginas from a medical perspective.

Any guy that tells me he has had sex with a LOT of girls and never contracted a STD of any kind is fortunate or he is full of crap.

It does not matter if the girl is a working girl or a good girl, she can and most likely will contract a STD if she is having a lot of sex with many different partners.

Of course a bar girl who is very, very active with many different partners will have a much higher chance of getting a STD and transferring it to you if you do not wear a condom.

STDs "DO NOT" discriminate…rich, poor or middle class you more than likely will contract it if you have lots and lots of different sexual partners

I took it upon myself to become a self-educated expert on the subject of STDs and women's vaginas and I am surprised at how most men…like 98 % of them DO NOT know about STDs and the symptoms until something is obviously wrong down there between their legs and they have to go to a doctor to learn they have an STD.

Most guys think THAT feeling they have down there is just the feeling you get from all that action your willy is getting…that aching feeling…but you can't really say for sure what that feeling actually is until you just know something is out of order so off you go to the doctor to learn you have a case of STD and often enough it is a right and proper case.

Sometimes it will hit you in less than 24 hours if the girl has a really strong bacterial infection in her vagina and it gets into your urinary tract.

You will know about it SOON enough…but most sexual infections in a man's urinary tract developed over several days or several weeks before the infection is noticeable and bothersome and or becomes obvious.

Meantime you wonder how many girls you were with and which one gave it to you and hopefully you did not transfer it to another girl…but more than likely you did.

I talk openly about this subject without guilt or remorse or embarrassment because the transfer of STDs, although a somewhat serious implication, is as old as human civilization and part of humanity and it is nothing new.

Fortunately at this time in our history we have drugs and the means to stop the infections in NEARLY everyone of us, if properly diagnosed and properly administered and the patient takes the drugs as instructed and seriously caters to his health while taking the administered drugs.

Just for information's sake…many guys would not believe that one of the reasons that you can and do more easily contract STD is related to the alcohol in your system during sex and or if you are drinking, while taking the prescribed medications to eliminate the contracted STD the drug becomes far less ineffective. <I believe this is an old wife's tale – Stick>

If you don't believe me you can contact me and I will explain why…based on medical facts…not fiction, hearsay or my opinion.

Not to sound like I am a know it all but just ask me anything about the subject of STDs and the health related matters concerning women's vaginas and I could answer your questions…I read a lot of medical info and seldom do I come across a person with any real knowledge on that particular medical subject.

Anyhow I am just reminding you guys all the sexual action is great but remember what the ramifications and implications are concerning your health.

Having said that, my social acquaintances asked me many times why I was not bored with the gogo bars and why do I keep on going to them.

Well…you know what…I did do other social activities like exercising and sight seeing and I did date a LOT of good girls also and did various social things with them…but there was something about going to the gogo bars that I could not break away from.

Some friends swore by the massage parlours and I went to them numerous times but I felt like I was out of place as most of them are for the Thais and it is a Thai thing (the Thai way perhaps)…as far as I felt.

What I liked about the gogo bars was the whole ambience about the places as compared to say, the massage parlours or the MANY other numerous ways that you can obtain P4P and while I stayed in BKK all those years I found / discovered many, many far from obvious avenues to peruse, concerning P4P.

I could write a book about it as I was a restless type of person and I 'pussy' footed around to places that the average foreigner…even long time foreigners…would never ever know existed…some of them so off the beaten track as to be somewhat awkward, scary and intimidating looking to the uninitiated.

If you ever end up in the KLONG TOEY area of Bangkok, concerning pussy then you are in uncharted waters!

But I did not drink and I was always well aware of my surroundings and situations and most of the time I did not partake in my newly found discoveries and my eager confirmations of just how extensive the world of prostitution is in the City of Angles.

I basically just walked right up and right into many many places and asked what the deal was at this or that particular establishment.

After learning the costs and format of a particular place or area I would mentally store the info and move on as 90 % of the time I did not feel that I wanted to indulge…it felt TOO MUCH like real prostitution and factually it was…the sad side of humanity.

Do not misunderstand me…I did not do this on a regular basis but sometimes when I did I did not feel comfortable doing it or partaking in it and it was seldom satisfying.

The girls there have heart breaking stories to tell if you wanted to listen and it just confirmed my belief that the gogo bars are where I should be if I was to indulge in P4P.

Believe me…the gogo bar format is the MOST brilliant form of prostitution every invented…but there will be many I suppose who disagree…but then again I can say with certainty those same guys did not see what I had seen in BKK.

I even went to several very expensive members type clubs, on occasion, and what I came to understand is that the guys who go to those places are even MORE suckered than the so called Dumb Foreigners who go to the gogo bars and so often enough get milked by the girls.

At the expensive places you do have some really stunning, good looking girls working there.

Personally I never used the word "beautiful" to describe any Thai girl…although there are a percent of Thai women who are extremely good looking and "stunning" ,as some say, I could not bring myself to use the word beautiful to describe a Thai girl…"super cute" or "super feminine looking" or "really, really attractive"… or any number of descriptive words but not beautiful? I mean the word is too over used and loosely used to describe Thai women by so many foreign men who are captivated by Thai women and their exotic looks.

I am going to say this anyhow and I know many will argue this but that saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"…well it is over used also and I guess it is just used too often as an argument…just like the word beautiful is used too often to describe Thai women.

I would argue: "Beauty is in the eye of comparison"… and although there are some really good looking and certainly very, very sexually attractive girls in Thailand…most of them are not so attractive and many are down right homely looking.

But then again what nation has women with the MAJORITY of them being described as "beautiful" and abundant… None that I know of.

The thing about Thai women is their femininity and their underlying sexuality.

I mean beside all those other attributes that we know they poses.

As my good friend once said: "Many are not that good looking…but they are all eminently fxxxable."

I don't say that in any demeaning or derogatory way…it is a compliment said on their behalf amongst men…although sexual.

Anyhow, the girls in the high class establishments draw the big spenders…98 percent Thais and a notable number of Chinese and Japanese mainly, but very, very few white guys.

The prices are out of this world and some have arrangements where the first floor has girls for 10,00 baht and the second floor has girls for 15,000 baht and the third floor has girls for 20,000 baht.

There are numerous places with even double those prices AND you and I may not think some of the girls are all that "Beautiful"…BUT they certainly are dressed to look the part and they ooze sexuality and femininity and submissiveness to the point of near professional acting and acting well they do because they pull in some big bucks.

But in the end you are paying for a woman who is really, really calculated in near every move she makes concerning her profession.

I guess it is a Thai thing and boy do the rich Thai guys love it to death and fall right into it…as money, money, money is no object to these guys.

It is hard to describe but they also get suckered for money but it does not faze most of these guys and they like to think we are stupid because we fall for girls that are 'low class"…in their eyes.

Yes…in a silly "class based society" they would slot those girls and think proud of themselves by paying MORE than their foreign counterparts

Yes the setting is low class as compared to the high class places but not all that many girls working the high class places come from any kind of high class social upbringing.

They come from various levels of society and many learn to be just what the Thai men want them to be and act the way the Thai men want them to act and service them the way that Thai men like to be serviced.

BUT… in the end these guys are simply paying far, far more than any foreigner and they know exactly what is going on because it is a Thai thing and there is no confusion or misunderstanding or mis-communication…but they still shell out the money.

I could not see the sensibilities in any of it other than paying for a girl that really turns you on and turns your crank…but are they good sex…probably not…I think, they would think, they are too professional for that…in their minds…and not becoming of a "lady"…who just happens to work in a place of prostitution and sucks money out of really wealthy guys who don't blink one bit when they pay 20,000 baht for sex.

BUT maybe they could be well worth the money in the eyes of the Thai men who are patrons at these places and I do know it has a lot to do with business strategies and prestige and a degree of power over the girls and the clients that they bring there…many sexual interludes being paid for to gain favour in their numerous business dealings.

Pussy is persuasive stuff if someone else pays for it on your behalf and it is free to the receiver…even if it is bad sex…so that is clever of them from a business perspective…hell, I just might sign a contract worth millions of baht if it involved lots of pussy.

But I surmised that the girl or girls would be instructed to give her best service ever for many a client under threat that she would not have a job if she did not perform to the best of her ability.

Maybe, maybe not!

If anyone out there wants to comment and explain to me the inner workings of the said to be "high class" prostitution and where the value is then I would like to know.

I guess if I had THAT kind of money I also would have most likely participated…just to learn if their sexuality and ambiance justified the price.

There were some really, really good looking girls in several of the places I went to over the years but I never went with a girl from there because of the cost and it was awkward when the bill for drinks came and it was 10,000 baht just for the drinks

I was with Thai men I was TRYING to do business with and I knew I was not required to pay but still it is awkward.

When asked which girl I liked, well that was awkward also, not knowing if the girl that you did fancy may happen to be the girl that the Thai guy liked.

I just said they are all great looking…you pick one for me…you know best…but I made it clear I was not here to take any of them for sex…so as to avoid the awkwardness of all that.

I guess if I tried to understand Thai decorum and etiquette I could have handled it another way but I was not going to end up paying that kind of money if there was some misunderstanding about who was paying for the girl

I could not help but remembering an American guy I knew who told me about a Thai girl who was paid for on his behalf by a Japanese client, while out celebrating the business they had finalised that week.

He told me the Japanese guys had a particular club they liked to go to and the girls there were great looking and he told me it was a fairly expensive club with the girls costing 5,000 baht all paid for upfront.

His Japanese client insisted he pay for one of the girls and he told me as far as he understood it would have been rude to not accept the mans offer so he let the Japanese guy pick the girl that he thought would be good for my friend.

He told me the girl was really attractive but not his type or style as he had lived in BKK for many years and he said he would not have picked her personally but all that face saving stuff was on his mind and she WAS good looking.

When 1:00 AM came around everything was paid for and off he went with this girl and parted ways with the Japanese men who had their pick of girls.

My friend could speak Thai well and on the way back to his apartment they had some nice conversation and he said she seemed like a good enough personality.

Back at his apartment they went to the his bed room and he told me that this girl was sitting there on the end of his bed, all prim and proper looking and while he was standing nearby and removing his shirt she starts to recite ALL the things she WILL NOT do.

He told me she was saying: "I don't like to kiss or be kissed"… "I don't like my breasts to be touched"…"I don't like to have my nipples sucked"…"I do not give blow jobs"… I don't like to do it doggy style" and she was saying more and me told me he just decided at that moment the thing to do was kick her out…literally kick her out.

What he told me next seemed a little extreme but he said he grabbed her by the back of the neck and her hair and stood her up real fast and forcefully walked her to the front door and opened the door and pushed her forward into the hallway and then put his foot on her ass and gave her a good forcefully shove out the door.

He told me she lurched across the hallway and crashed into the wall and went down on the hallway floor and then he slammed the door shut on her mumbling to himself: I don't like to kiss…I don't like to do it doggy style… I don't like my nipples to be sucked…blah blah blah.

He then told me he was going to go to bed and not give it a second thought, thinking to himself the nerve of her…5,000 baht paid for upfront and she is dictating the whole affair and how it is going to be…oh well he was not at any loss anyhow so who cares he was thinking.

But now she is banging on the door and screaming about her purse so he stopped and thought about what she was saying and remembered she had a purse and the purse was on the bed so he went to the bed and picked up the purse and out of curiosity wondered how much money she had in the purse.

Looking in the purse he said it was thick with 500 baht notes and looked like there could be 20,000 baht or more in there and he said he was tempted to take out 5,000 baht but decided against it.

He said he went to the door and quickly opened it and she was startled and moved back a little from the door way. He told me stepped back a little and threw the purse at her forcefully and he said the purse hit her square in the chest and bounced back towards the doorway and onto the floor, so he kicked the purse good and hard out into the hallway with most of her things falling out and scattering about in the hallway.

Then he slammed the door and that was the end of that he told me.

Well…I thought his reaction was a little bit harsh but he just said: "No way…a Thai man would NOT put up with kind of Crap and he was adamant he handled the situation correctly.

I would not have done that and I would have tried to charm my way into getting her to loosen up and try to enjoy herself hoping I could get some enjoyment myself.

Anyhow it shows that the girls really do know how to work a client if she gets away with that sort of behaviour often enough and the Japanese guys probably put up with a LOT more than us white guys when it comes to being taken for money and being manipulated.

But the gogo bars where good enough for me and I don't say that in a class based way thinking I could have done better and found more upscale places.

What I realised and liked about the gogo bars is the carnival type atmosphere and the somewhat party like atmosphere that occurs in the gogo setting just by the nature of the whole concept.

I did not drink so I would enjoy the music (usually it was OK and to my liking but not important) and I never grew tired of watching a whole range of girls getting up on stage and displaying themselves.

What I enjoyed was seeing exactly what you were going to pay for because most of the girls in most of the places displayed their bodies and if there was a particular body part that really was a turn on then she was a candidate…besides the face.

How can a man ever get tired of looking at young girls, up on a stage dancing or just standing there in a bikini and high heel shoes or no bikini…nothing often enough…and displaying all her sexuality and feminine charms…I never got over it.

At the massage parlours and other places if they are wearing clothes you often enough end up with a girl who looks good…but when you get her clothes off…well you wish you had not picked her.

I never had any particular bar that I liked and or recommended and I would usually pop in for a look and if it looked promising then I would stay and take a closer look and have a few drinks of bottled water or fresh orange juice if they had it.

Back and forth to Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy or Pat Pong and or all around Sukhumvit looking for the RIGHT girl and I had a 90% success rate because I learned to observe and then choose the one with the RIGHT ATTITUDE along with the look that I liked and the body that I liked.

I was choosy and not by way of looks only but a combination of things but usually the right attitude finalised my decision to ask the girl if she wanted to go with me or not.

I was turned down many times…maybe 15% of the girls I ever asked and I just shrugged it off telling myself she did me a favour and now I will find a RIGHT girl for sure.

Some I went back and asked another time and then they went with me after TALKING with them.

I would say I definitely missed out on some good girls by being so choosy but when I finally did choose the one that appealed to me I was right in my choice 9 times out of ten.

Learning to speak Thai was a BIG advantage and communicating with a girl is a must in many respects…although you do not have to because we all know what their game is all about and money is what they want…but still I learned I could better judge the girl and her character and her "demeanor" and her attitude when I talked to her and specifically asked her certain questions and waiting for her response.

The response to my questions was enough to make me decide if the girl had the right attitude and was she going to be fun and cooperative and sexy.

Simple things like asking them if they liked to kiss…if they said no and said it with attitude then just that alone would make me decide this particular girl would more than likely be a bad choice. (As a side note: I found a lot of Thai girls to be little BRATS and very opinionated about everything but at the same time so, so ignorant.)

About 10 % of the time I picked the wrong one and when we would get back to my apartment then I would learn just how they think and how they thought they are going to handle me!

I had so many great experiences with so many great girls I had my pre-formed expectations of the fun we would have but sometimes some girls, for any number of reason, did not act the way I had anticipated and they just did not "flow" with the evolving circumstances.

Wanting the lights off or sitting there watching TV or pulling the covers over themselves to hide themselves or wanting to get back to the bar as quickly as possible…or no kissing… or silent…or whining about something.

Usually in those cases I just gave them some taxi money and told them better we did not do anything further and sent them on their way.

Often enough I still gave them 1000 baht and did not dwell on the fact that I got nothing for my money…and I just went right back out there and found another girl better than her.

I often enough found myself educating the girls and having some long talks about Attitude and what pleases men and how they could capitalise on their looks or body or sexual skills.

I mean…if you're going to be a good time girl then be the best that you can…but I know that did not sit well with most girls…but some of them understood what I was trying to make them aware of and I know there are SOME girls that do not let that kind of work bother them all that much.

I could even say there are a good number of girls out there (in those days) that performed well for their clients because I had educated them about their attitudes and their demeanor and how to just be a more pleasant person considering the work they were doing.

Numerous times when I came back to their bar and they came and chatted with me and told me how so many of the things I had discussed with them worked and how how men responded to their attitude and how they now carried themselves and dressed and acted…business was good they told me while giggling and still not really understand why men barfined them so often.

You and I know why but they could never bring themselves to realise they were good looking or good looking enough and sexy looking in the eyes of the men that wanted to barfine them

I mean simple things like get yourself a pair of 4 inch high heels…sexy ones…men like that…and paint your fingernails…men like that also…and when you are sitting with a customer give him a massage even if he does not buy you a ladies drink…try anyhow…lots of little things.

Well I have lots and lots of great memories about so, so many girls…honestly I can not remember so many of them because the flow just kept on going on and on.

Believe it or not I never fell in love with any of them…fortunately (in some respects) I just could not spend any significant amount of time with any of them without thinking about all the many irritating habits and characteristics of nearly ALL Thai girls that turned me off.

I guess I just did not have the patience to deal with them and all those things that make them Thai…I did not want to get that close to them or the culture so I never got all emotional about the girls…even the many many non bar girls I dated and SOME of them marriage material…big time.

Several of them married with other foreigners and some of them I knew and they where puzzled as to how I could have let that one…their wife now…slip away.

There were a few bar girls I was hung up on sexually because they had bodies to die for or pussies to die for but I never seriously perused them and even if I did go with them many times I realised it was futile to be serious about them.

There were a few the perused me but they soon realised I was a big butterfly and they knew it and I told them so just to keep things in perspective.

Yeah, lots and lot of great memories with Thai girls and that is such a big big part of the Thailand experience…without all the girly action in Thailand it would still be a pleasant place to visit and or live…but the finest memories for most guys is the girly action…even if it does end in heartbreak and financial ruin.

Well…that's is all I have to say about that…for now!

Stickman's thoughts:

It sounds like you have some sort of sex addiction.