In reality this submission is a polite "kick up the arse" of those farang out there who are "sponsoring" bar / gogo girls out in Thailand and my current situation and views on it.
I am a decent looking 28 year old lad from the south of England and have been visiting Thailand three times a year for the past three years. I started mainly travelling with friends but ended up preferring to go by myself and just drift about with a bag and a pile of cash. I freely admit that I have, and still do to some extent, been involved in the bar scene and have met many bar girls in Bangkok, Pattaya and Koh Samui.
Let me tell you about my last trip to LOS in February 2008. I landed in Bangkok and planned to have a few days in Bangkok before going down to Pattaya for a week. I ended up staying in BKK for four days blowing off the English cobwebs with the nightlife and then caught a bus down to Pattaya.
When I got to Pattaya I made a trip to my favourite bar on Soi 8. This is where I met M (I'll call her that) about two years ago and I have spent time with her over my last 5 trips. She is a cracking girl from Buriram but she wasn't there. I didn't ask the boss where she was but decided to give her a call. When she answered she told me that a 45 year old English bloke had bought her out of the bar and she was back at home now with her daughter and parents. I was a bit surprised but not too bothered (big sea and many fish!) and told her no problem and wished her good luck. She then told me that it didn't matter and that I was more than welcome to come up to Buriram to see her and that she would "take care of me". I've been up there twice before so had no problems catching the bus and snoozed for the majority of the 7 hour trip.
When I turned up I wasn't sure how she would be but I needn't have been surprised as she was obviously very pleased to see me and we went straight to a local bar and spent two hours catching up. She told me that this Englishman had fallen madly in love with her and offered her 30K baht per month to go home and not work in the bar anymore. She readily accepted because she'd grown to hate Pattaya and missed her family terribly. As the night went on we drank more and more and, as per normal with M, the night ended up with us collapsing into bed together.
The next day was the eye-opener though. Her sponsor called her once during the day and then once during the night. During the day she took the call and, with a big smile on her face and without losing eye contact with me for one second, proceeded to tell him how much she missed and loved him and that she was having trouble sleeping without him! (I can assure you that apres sex, she slept as well as every other bar girl does!) The phone call during the night was equally as dishonest as we were drinking away in a bar and she told him she was at the market working with her mother!
Now, I'm not naive, and my view has always been that if a bar girl opens her mouth then she is probably lying, but the lies and deceit while she was looking at me and smiling were unbelievable. When I spoke to her from Pattaya and she asked me to come and see her in Buriram she had said at the time that she would "take care of me" and she most certainly kept to her word. I paid for the accommodation, food and travel but she paid for ALL of the drink we consumed in the 5 days I spent with her. When I tried to pay she would not accept one baht. When I said she didn't need to pay for anything she replied "I am not paying, my English money man is paying"!
The funniest thing happened on the third afternoon though. I was sitting in her house having a beer with her dad when she sat next to me with her phone, three books and a big smile on her face. I asked her what she was doing and she passed me one of the books and I flicked through the pages. The book was called Golden SMS and it was a book full of Thai phrases translated into English that should be sent to farang men to tell them how much you miss them. With a big grin on her face she asked me to pick one to send to her sponsor. I picked one that went something like this; "Darling, you are everything to me. Every minute I spend without you is a minute wasted and without you I am nothing. You are the one and I love you more than words can ever say." As soon as she sent it she got a pen and circled the phrase. When I asked why she did that she replied that it was to avoid sending the same phrase to her sponsor again!
I had a lovely few days with her and I asked her if she was happy with the sponsor situation. She said that she loved her sponsor with her head but not with her heart. I took this to mean that she loved him for his money, and the security he gave her and her family, but did not really "love" him with her heart as we would in Farangland. She asked me how I felt and I said that I was happy that she was at home with her daughter and her family and not working in a bar in Pattaya. Previously I've told her that I would never send her money from home but would always look after her when I was in Thailand.
Ever since that conversation 2 years ago she has never asked for any money but has always accepted the money and gifts I have occasionally given her. I left her in Buriram after 4 days and I think we were both happy. It was great to see her at home with her daughter and parents and she was obviously delighted to be back. Likewise I think she was genuinely pleased to see me and, as per normal, we had a great time. Even though she spent a fair amount of cash on me, I gave her no money and she asked for no money. Instead I bought her a nice 3K baht bracelet and bought her daughter lots of little presents. To me giving gifts is OK but if she takes money off of me then she may as well go back to Pattaya.
I suppose I'm writing this just to let sponsors know that even if your girl is at home that doesn't mean she isn't playing around with other farang men. We've all seen the mobile phone numbers and names of all the farang men that they have previously met and been with. When these men call back, and I assure you they probably will, then if she wants sex or extra money then she will take risks and, in extreme circumstances, invite the man to her home. So be careful when you start throwing money at a girl and, even if she is at home, trust her very little until she can prove she is trustworthy!
This is an important reminder. This "problem" really is widespread. When you chat with the girls in their own language you find out some really amazing stories. Some girls are juggling a number of guys and are on to a real earner – serious money comes in to some of them every month.