Isaan Jida – Lesson Learned
Last weekend, I went to Isaan to meet this girl named Jida who turned about to one cunning piece of work.
I met Jida on Thailovelinks way back in December. She seemed so sweet and had that "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" thing going on. Over the next couple of months we were making plans for the future and things were romantic and all that crap. But in March, she started acting distant so I stopped chatting and sending SMS messages. Besides, my move to Bangkok was too far away – not for another 4 months. But when I got to Bangkok, we actually resumed contact.
I thought it would be very cool to go and check out Isaan. If I visit Jida, then I will get to meet her in person at the same time. I was really excited about this, and it turned out to be an awesome weekend with respect to seeing the countryside and culture etc. But Jida turned out to be the last person on Earth I could ever trust.
A few days before I left Bangkok to see her, she told me that she did not have a boyfriend (I asked her 3 times in different ways, she answered NO all 3 times). When I got to this village (Nong Seang, 45 minutes drive from Udon Thani), her whole family lived in the one house and nobody spoke English except for Jida. It really pissed me off how Jida would leave me stranded downstairs with a bunch of people speaking in Thai, and who kept using the word "farang" and laughing. I found out later that Jida was sneaking upstairs to use her computer to MSN chat to guys. I travelled all this way to see her and she wanted to MSN chat to other people. What a bitch.
I saw some pictures of some white guy on her computer, and noticed various articles in her room sent from an address in Denmark. "Just friend" she would say. Or "he a friend of my sister’s husband in Denmark "… she would change the wording each time.
On my second and final night there, her sister (Patty) had a small "party" and there was whiskey available. Fortunately, Patty could speak some English. It was a relief to talk to her at times during the night, because Jida would not translate anything for me, despite the fact that people were using "farang" and laughing and looking right at me! And Jida would just talk right back to them in Thai, and laugh too! God that pissed me off. I clearly and carefully spoke to her THREE times about translating for me, and she would just give me some dumb look like I was the one who had the attitude problem.
Anyway, I talked quite a bit to her sister, who is really into MSN chatting to different guys. Patty has one poor bastard in the US sending her 50,000 baht per month. Another guy from the UK bought her a motorcycle. This is too easy for these Thai women… why bother with true love when you can get all these idiot farangs to willingly part with their cash? [At one stage, I actually sat next to her as she chatted to multiple guys. She was using webcam with a 50 year-old American. I mean look at that guy… sitting there with that sappy grin, thinking he has this sweet innocent Thai girly all to himself. I ask her how much money he sends to her. "I tell him that it up to him, and I give him my account number. He send me 50,000 every time", after which she laughed hysterically. Then she tells me about the guy who sent her earrings and a diamond necklace, which she later sold for cash. So to all you men abroad who are sending "your" Thai girl money and gifts, you are being taken for a ride! She has 4 other guys doing the same thing. I will never forget how Patty laughed at these idiot farangs as she told me the story. "He thinks I poor", she said with a smirk on her face. I was there – sitting with her next to her computer in Isaan, Thailand – looking at the farang on webcam! And she's laughing at how much money you're sending! So, if you are sending a Thai girl money, stop it right now. Patty and untold numbers of other internet Thai girls are laughing at you.]
Jida was acting like a bitch for most of the time I was there. She'd leave me stranded, or other times she'd act like I was an "inconvenience" to her. We both planned for this weekend to happen, yet she was throwing it back in my face. She was quite bossy too, and seemed like a spoilt brat. I cannot stand women like that. And she KNEW she had the upper hand too, with the language barrier. Under different circumstances, I would just turn my back and leave. But I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. I was totally dependent on her, and she knew it.
The biggest problem with Jida is the fact that she is pretty, and has all that girly-girl laughter and sweet voice and mannerisms etc., and as you can imagine, this can cause a guy to fall for her. But she was also a lying bitch. Later that night, after quite a few whiskeys, we left that party and she took me to some abandoned shack. Then she starts acting REALLY weird. I can't explain it. She finally tells me that she has a boyfriend in Denmark, and she is waiting for the visa to come through. Aha! Everything fell into place. I finally saw just how carefully constructed her lies were – it was amazing how skillfully this woman lied to me. Where do they learn this shit?
She started crying and telling me that she's confused, and doesn't know what to do. She says that she does not love this Danish guy, and instead she kept saying "I pity him". I suspect that when I told her last week that I would like to visit her, she lied about not having a boyfriend – to keep her options open. When I got there, she could see that I wasn't going to put up with any shit, because I would stand up to her and tell her "NO" if she started chatting for hours on MSN, and I was quite assertive about requesting her to translate for me (although she never did translate anything for me). Therefore, she decided to go with the wussy Danish guy (who knows NOTHING about her) so she can get the visa (i.e. meal ticket, easy life, call it what you will).
After this lengthy chat, she tells me that we should never talk again after the weekend was over. "It's too hard for me", she said. Whatever. I immediately told her that it would also be better for me not to talk to her again. I also really wanted to tell her that I think she totally SUCKS, but my flight was not until 6 pm the next night. I had to save face and ride this thing out. We get back to her house at 3 am, and it really was time to sleep. My mattress was located in the computer room, and as soon as I lay down, she starts up the computer and begins MSN chatting! Unbelievable! And she moves her chair so that it would block any possible view I might have of the computer monitor. WTF? I was beginning to hate this chick. My mobile phone was sitting next to my mattress, and so I decided then and there to delete her phone number from my SIM card.
3 hours later, she comes back into the computer room – to use MSN of course – and she changes the screensaver to a picture of her arm-in-arm with who obviously must be the Danish guy. I noticed the backdrop in the picture, and it was Bangkok. Ah, yes of course. That "business trip" that she told me she went to in Bangkok last week? It wasn't a business trip at all. The girl doesn't even have a job! It was to meet the Danish guy.
The next 10 hours were excruciating. Now that the cat was out of the bag, she was acting nice toward me, which made it worse. She took me to a temple, and she went inside to pray. I guess lying is a pretty big sin in Buddhism, because she was in there for an hour. I go for a walk around the monastery gardens. Normally I would be really enjoying this type of thing, but my resentment towards Jida had fully set in, and it was ruining the experience for me. That's a shame. Perhaps a better man would have made the best of a bad situation. But I was feeling a degree of hatred, and regretted ever making the move to talk to her on Thailovelinks 8 months before.
I was checking my watch every half hour, and time was going SO slowly. Fortunately, that day I had lunch with the old ladies of the village, which was a good experience. It killed a few hours. They cooked for me and tied string around my arm for good luck. At 2 pm, I packed my shit and the neighbour picked me up in his car and took me to the airport. Jida and her sister came too. I sat in between Jida and her sister in the back seat, but I only talked to her sister, and ignored Jida.
When I checked in, I told them that they could leave. I smile and say thank you to the sister, and she leaves. Jida touches my arm and says "take care" with a half-smile. I did not smile. I actually said "All the best", and I don't know why I said that. I really wanted to say something else. Well, I guess Jida had never heard the phrase "all the best" before, because she just gave me a blank look, then looked away, and walked off. I headed for the escalator and did not look back at her.
I found a quiet place in the airport to vent a few frustration tears. After gathering my composure I bought a beer and realised just how lucky I was for learning an important lesson. Jida was exactly the type of Thai woman I must avoid. Falling in love with a lying, manipulative but beautiful woman is the most dangerous thing to happen to a man.
There are many points to be raised from this submission. The first is that, no matter what, one should never get too excited about someone they haven’t even met! Meeting people over the internet has real limitations. The person you have fallen for could pick their nose incessantly, they could have an awkward twitch or they might have an accent that grates on your nerves. You can only rule out these and many other annoying mannerisms by meeting someone in the flesh.
That she invited you up to her village means that she likely did see you as a real option. Something then later happened that made her choose the Dane over you. She almost certainly would not have asked you to go up there if she didn’t see you as an option.
I am surprised you didn’t cut your losses and leave. Udon Thani is a great town with no shortage of "things to do". The locals are amongst the friendliest in all of Thailand. You were not compelled to stay and you could have left at any time. At the point you realised it was a no go you really should have left there and then.
Unfortunately there are legions of women like this all over Thailand who are being spoiled by guys sending them silly amounts of money. And more and more girls are getting in on the internet game.