Somewhere between reading some fascinating stories and my own experiences, I thought I'd contribute my 2 pennies worth based on my experiences of Thai girls in London. May provide an interesting contrast for readers. I must caveat, that I've never experienced the Thai Bargirl / Gogo scene in Thailand. Only what I've gleaned from Stickman submissions. My experiences are all based on relationships I've had with Thai escorts in London. All the relationships have followed the same path – Paying Customer, Free Customer, Boyfriend, Grey Relationship zone…. Here's my take on a few universal truisms:
1. Everyone is an individual / no 2 people are the same
Surprise surprise, none of the Thai girls I've ever spent time with are the same. (For that matter, no relationship I've ever had has been the same). Yet I am surprised at the amount of broad sweeping statements on Stickman saying how Thai women are like this or like that. It's so meaningless. Sure there are some tendencies or commonalities. Or maybe this site just attracts a disproportionate amount of posters needing to vent their spleen about a relationship that went wrong. But it is certainly rubbish to say, for example, all Isaan girls will rip you off. I've dated a couple of Isaan girls here in London and they seem perfectly normal to me and haven't tried to cheat or scam me in any way. In fact, I would say, some have been amazingly honest. Giving me back money, paying their own way on dates, telling me about their past (and really you couldn't make up some of the stuff) etc… Unfortunately, I read a lot of Stickman stories that had planted seeds of doubt in my mind. It's only overtime I've discovered my suspicions have been unfounded. And I feel bad about that. So now I say anyone thinking about a relationship to go in with an open mind. Use your own judgement. I think someone said "Nothing is good or evil but thinking makes it so". It's obvious when someone is taking the piss out of you. Then u need to take action. But until then treat the person of your affection as an individual as you would like to be treated.
2. It's just a Job / Prostitution is the oldest profession
Once you get pass the initial high octane sex fantasy, it turns out that actually, the girls are all pretty "normal" people. i.e. we go shopping for groceries, do house cleaning chores, chat with our friends, go out occasionally to bars and
restaurants, visit a temple, go see a movie etc… Then they go to work, albeit different hours to a normal office worker, but in the end, when at work they put on the show, do what they do, then go back to their normal at home environments. They
work to earn money. Period. They know they have a shelf life. They know 2 yrs in London and they will be Sabai Sabai in Thailand for the rest of their lives. They are not looking to build enormous wealth. Just provide for themselves and their
families. Isn't that why we all work??? If u don't mind your lady sleeping with a different guy every day as her job, your relationship will be fine.
3. No one likes to bring work home
After a while, in a relationship with a working girl, I've found, that just like any other profession they don't like to bring their work home! i.e. they don't really want sex with you. Just all that lubby dubby relationship stuff. If you
work as a chef or whatever, you don't want to come home to cook right? Or if you work in an office – you don't want to sit at a desk and do more paper work or be in front of a computer. You just want to relax at home. And funnily enough
working girls are no different. In my experience, they want to come home, sit on sofa, eat take away and ice cream and watch Thai DVD while canoodling on the sofa etc… But they don't want to work i.e. have sex. Just cuddles and talking
and all that woman stuff… works for some.
4. Most people partner with their own kind
Please tell me, of all the countries in the world, do people mostly partner with someone from their own country? Of course they do!!! Most British people partner with British people. Most French people with French people. In the US most people marry people
of the same ethnicity. It's just a fact. Why? Simply because they can communicate in their own language and understand each others cultural heritage. The girls here tell me most of their customers are 40+ overweight Farangs. But I've
noticed, of the girls here that do date, most date guys of Oriental decent in. Even with a Rich Farang customer "in love" with them, there's still some not so rich Thai / Oriental guy in tow! Why? Because they can go to Oriental
places and not feel like whores. They can go sing Oriental / Thai Karaoke song and watch movies. They can go to Oriental supermarket and choose similar foods. The times I've taken these girls out on dates to Farang night club / restaurant
etc… and they just sit there and feel totally uncomfortable and out of place. And I've taken them to some of the best nightspots in London! They say things like they never seen so many Farang etc…. In fact, the irony is, in London there
are so few Thai guys they are like a rare commodity here. I think the Thai Embassy issued some statistic that of 16,000 Thai people in UK only 2,000 were men!!!! So why do they go back to their drunken no good Thai pimp boyfriend? Because that
is just what most people in the world do – date their own kind. Escort girls are no different. You can not blame them for something that 99% of world also do. The amount of times I've heard they don't like Farang XYZ type of customer
but it's their job. It's been stated before many times on Stickman. Your Farang-Thai relationship starts off with a low chance of success to begin with, because you can't even communicate beyond a few simple English phrases.
5. A relationship is more than sex
Following on from the above, the reality is, in London at any rate, the cultural, intellectual and wealth divide is quite simply enormous. Stickman recently pointed out the prices of girls in London on his recent post.
The fact is, the customer is usually a Rich, Married, Well Educated, Successful 40+ professional Farang. The girl is poor, from a farm, <30, poorly educated and is only interested in her immediate environment. Please tell me what chances do
they have of a successful relationship? Pretty much zero if you ask me. My personal experience is after a while, I have absolutely nothing to say to these girls. a) Because I can't speak their language b) Their English is limited to simple
phrases for their job c) The intellectual divide is insurmountable. d) I don't want to spend most of my time watching Thai DVDs and sitting on a sofa talking about nothing in particular. So in summary, if you are happy in a relationship which
will have no conversation, and have lots of time to burn, then go for it. Personally, I think you're better off with someone from your own cultural background of a similar age. Too bad if you don't like Fat Farang women. But hey – look
in the mirror. Maybe it's not Fat Farang women you don't like. Stop blaming everyone else!
6. Economic Prosperity brings choice
Again, Stickman touched on this in his recent weekly report. It's true that some of the best and hardest working girls can make £100k a year here. Of course deduct living expenses and agency fees. But in short they are earning just as much and in fact more than many working professionals in London. It's serious money. That's why so many escorts come from all over the world. But it totally changes the dynamic of relationships that these girls have with their customers because it gives them CHOICE. They now have the economic freedom that us Farangs have when we visit Thailand. It's role reversal time my friends! Some of these girls probably make more money than their customers do. And guess what, they start to act in the way we do when we've got choice! They decide they don't like a customer, u ain't gonna get good service to make sure u don't come back! They don't want to work a day or two – no problem. They want to go holiday – no problem. They want to date someone – they CHOOSE who. No longer do they need old Farang guy to support them and bring them to their country. And really, the girls are quite simple at heart. There's nothing complex or conniving about them. They choose in the following order:
1. 95% choose – make money, go home, live sabai sabai, gain a lot of face with their family and peers
2. 5% choose – If they meet a nice guy here (very low priority) who can live with their job (extremely unlikely) they MAY marry him. But very very few cases I've ever heard of this. In fact let me be clear. 2 cases. And, as Stick points out in his post, the pecking order is really just as simple:
a. Young Rich Good Looking (extremely unlikely)
b. Young Rich Average Looking (unlikely)
c. Young Good Looking Poor (They can compensate with their earnings – more likely)
d. Old Rich about to die (extremely unlikely because they wouldn't have made it to their bedroom in first place)
e. Older, Rich, Single / divorced, not ugly or fat.
And where do the not so rich married / divorced not so good looking Old Guys appear. NO WHERE. Why? Because they make enough money in London not to have to be forced into that choice. They are just stringing you along my friend.
7. People do what they know
It amazes me when I read statements on this site like "You can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl". As if there's something different about a bar girl. But there isn't really. The fact is most people do what they know as a profession. If you are a chef, could you suddenly become an office worker? If you are a office worker could you suddenly become a soap star? If you are an actor could you suddenly become a businessman? If you are a bargirl, could you suddenly go to college, get a degree in English, become a personal servant, cook clean and maybe work in an office part-time? It's like people expect there to be a sudden change and are surprised when BG goes back to her job. Well the fact is that's their job. And they are just doing what they know. If you decide on a BG for partner, don't expect them not to go to work sometime.
8. Women are sensitive and have mood swings
Yes they are constantly suspicious. Why? Because if you don't sleep with them (and they don't want sex with you because it's like work) then you must be getting it elsewhere. It's "female" logic (although in my case has a
degree of truth). But even when you are "innocent" you're still guilty. One day they are fine and in good mood. Next day you're the devil's spawn. But aren't all women like this? Thai girls express themselves differently,
but I think the symptoms of womanhood are actually the same. Farang girlfriends are exactly the same but just express their concerns a different way. If they are more educated they may be more diplomatic and conniving about it. If they are simple
and poorly educated they will simply spout abuse at you. Great book – Men are From Mars and Women from Venus. In this context, my experience with Thai Escorts is they are just very womanly, with an unsurprisingly different way of expression. You
just have to watch and learn the subtle differences. I find it quite interesting actually figuring out what they're thinking sometimes. But I've come to the conclusion that most of the time they are quite simple and just expressing what
they feel at any one time. Without trying to be derogatory or disrespectful, I just don't think many of them have the capability to be as smart or as a conniving as a Farang woman who has a long term strategic plan for slowly bleeding you
for every penny. But I may be wrong!
9. Change is the only constant
A related truism to the above, is that people change all the time. They can change over time. They can change in an instant. It's a cliché to say the least. So your BG / escort can turn into the good home bound perfect wife you've always dreamt of. But she can also turn back into a BG. A woman can change her mind 10 times a day about the same issue. That's just women though in my opinion and isn't' some exclusive prerogative of Thai women. However, in my Thai experiences, I have to say, there is a noticeably discernible, above average amount of suspicious / jealous mind changing going on. But I suspect that is more symptomatic of the profession than Thai women per se. I guess it's because they are constantly suspicious about everyone and everything since they can never trust anyone. Customers / Lovers who let them down. Family who sponge off them. Pimps who rip them off. Every one wants a piece of them in one way or another, whether it's monetary, physically or spiritually. These girls are always giving. So when they find someone who gives them a glimmer of trust, I guess that's got to be something precious. But it can translate into constant accusations of cheating, which in some senses is a good sign, as they care about you enough to get angry about it. It's a nice contrast going between being the best XYZ in the world to being the scum of the earth etc…. Keeps the relationship interesting and passionate to some extent. All I know is that the escorts I've experienced keep changing their minds. One minute they love you the next minute they don't. In the end, I've learnt, to just go with the flow. They always come back to their senses anyway. On the flip side, I've learnt, not to try to push them in any one particular direction either. e.g. if you only want to be their sole lover. They are far stronger minded individuals than many of us, simply because they are vastly more experienced in managing personal relationships than many of us western Farang, who are probably only used to managing one or two intimate relationships at a time. Your BG / Escort has probably had a life time worth of experience, in terms of managing multiple personal relationships before she's 20. In the end, the combination of the female menstrual cycle plus the experiences of many broken trust means change is the only constant and with it the oscillating mood swings….
10. Money can't buy you love
The all time great truism. From a punter's / whoremongers perspective we all understand this. But in London, it is also true from the girls perspective. The amount of times I've heard from different girls is how lonely their job is. Sure they make money here but they too can't find love. At the end of the day they are always alone. It's not easy. Not many people would date a prostitute. And I really do feel a degree of sympathy for them. The money they earn in London at least goes a considerable way towards compensating them. And with different customers day in day out it's very hard to find love. They've told me like maybe 1 in 100 guys they could possibly think about having a relationship with. But they are told they are beautiful at least once a day and marriage proposals once a week. If you were in that position how would you choose who is genuine? Who could really put up with your job? At the end of the day you need to give your relationship a little time before it enters that grey relationship kind of area. At that point the infatuation starts to fade and you start getting a more realistic perspective on your relationship and how it could work out. Unfortunately, for me, it's usually at that point I realise it's a relationship going nowhere and it's time to move on. We lived a little fantasy for a while on both sides. Just take the good memories for what they are and find yourself a sensible partner. That's what I tell them all in the end. When you've made your money, go home, find a nice Thai guy. It will be easy. You are beautiful and rich. They can make you happy. I can't. And this I learnt from one of my very experienced and wise dates who says to me one night in her funny Thai accent "This is a fantasy. It's not real life. Don't think about it too much. Just enjoy now." Or as us intellectual, well educated Farangs would say "Carpe Diem". Which just goes to prove, you don't need an Oxbridge IQ to understand EQ. These simple girls really can put us back in touch with our emotions for a moment. And it is perhaps that ability that, which drives our addiction.
An appropriately titled submission. I found myself agreeing with pretty much all of what you wrote.