Stickman Readers' Submissions May 15th, 2007

Maybe I Am Lucky This Time

China Hotel Guide
• Supreme Tower Hotel
• Changhang Merrylin
• Courtyard Hotel by Marriott Shanghai
• Holiday Inn Pudong Shanghai

I am Malaysian born, lived and worked in Australia for most of my life, am middle aged, do not like the bar scene and believe in good old fashioned love and romance. I am only interested in meeting ladies who are not involved in bar work;
good girls shall we say.

My story started in 2005 after by chance meeting a pair of Thai sisters in Kuala Lumpur. Up until that point in time, I knew of nothing about Thai girls, and had the faintest interest about anything to do with Thailand.

He Clinic Bangkok

I happened to stay in the same budget hotel as the two Thai sisters. As I was getting into the lift going to my room, there she was, tall, tanned, and terrific with a short mini-skirt and best of all she responded to my casual questioning of "Where
do you come from?" with sexy smiley face and answered "I am a tourist and I am Thai".

I took them out to dinner that night and the following days did all the tourist things in Kuala Lumpur. I was interested in the younger sister. Unfortunately for me she could only stay two days and needed to go back to work in Bangkok. Time was too short
but I was mesmerized by her cuteness. Before departing for her flight, she planted me a Thai sniff kiss right on my nose, waved good bye and disappeared behind Immigration. The elder sister and I proceeded on with two more days of holidays in
Kuala Lumpur. Took her to Ipoh (small provincial town north of Kuala Lumpur), talked, ate, and bought some gifts and slept on same bed (but no sex as I thought inappropriate: for her younger sister was the one I wanted a relationship with and
besides for some reasons she was not a turn-on for me.).

We corresponded by email. She was delighted with the watch I bought for her. I settled back to work in Sydney. Then, she called and said she wanted to go to an English Language school and first requested money which I agreed to help her with. Not long
after that, she decided to go to University at night and on my request dropped the language course. Just for the record, she is not a bar girl. She worked as secretary for an international company hence her English was not bad at all. Fast forward
to 2007, we had a total of nearly two years of a rocky relationship. At the time I met her, my marriage was already on the rocks. My wife at the time suffered mental illness of some 20 years plus. When I left for the trip and my first meeting
with, let called her "A", we were already separated under the same roof for a few months. When I arrived home, the plan was already in place to proceed to divorce. Come 2006, our divorce was through and lucky for us our son was 20 years
old and there was not much complication with child support.

CBD bangkok

Meanwhile, I went back to Bangkok about three times in between and stayed with "A" for about one month each time. She took me to meet her parents on my first visit in September 2005, which is also the month of her birthday. We had many great
times together. We travelled to places like Pattaya, Buriram, (her birthplace), and later also to visit my parents in Malaysia. But our love journey was far from smooth. During courtship, I found out many things about "A". She was an
unusually selfish, cold, heartless individual. Who had taught her to be so selfish I really do not know. I was always on the giving end and she was always on the receiving end. Taking from me is all she knows. Never once could I remember through
the entire two years that she had given something to me voluntarily. I am not talking about expensive gifts here. I know she is not financially capable and I never expected nor wanted anything but emotional and moral support, deeds of true love.
Even when I was sick, and even when I texted her that I was, she could not bloody care; not even one kind message back or call or email to ask how I was doing. Conversely, I truly loved her. I genuinely cared for her, supported her and most of
all I was faithful 100% to her during the entire two years.

Later, I also found out that all she said about love for me was false. It was her way of extracting support from me. All the while, I knew my position with her. I read Stickman's articles and was on the look out. I knew I could not trust her because
there were just too many inconsistencies in her words and deeds that I picked up along the way. Come September 2006, I visited Bangkok to celebrate her birthday. At the time, I still thought our relationship would turn out ok. But it wasn't
to be. First case in point here, I arrived Bangkok, neither her elder sister nor her bothered to meet me at the airport. I did not even receive a "welcome to Thailand" phone call from her. Instead her phone was switched off knowing that
I would call her on arrival about midnight. Then, the following day, I specially took the trouble to arrange a birthday dinner for her and guess what ; when I called to tell her the venue, she told me she might not make it, fxxking bloody hell
I thought, and her excuse was she had a prior appointment with her university friend, yeah, sure!. I thought to myself, I came 5000 km for her birthday yet she was clueless of how I would feel when she made such outrageous excuse to me. I was
totally devastated but in the end she made it. But my feeling was already badly dented by this experience.

Moving along, we met up most week nights after her university lectures for dinner together. She was always late but never cared to call to let me know. I was her guest and it is only common courtesy but she has none of that. I waited many nights until
nearly 11pm to have dinner with her. She took her time. God knows why? In addition, she was "generous" with my money. Whenever we went out to dinner, she would take me mostly to farang areas despite my numerous insistence to her that
I loved local Thai food and would be very happy with what she normally ate if she was by herself. Yes, she liked expensive restaurants and dined well above her means because I was paying. This tendency applied equally to her elder sister. I am
not complaining as such but merely to highlight the fact that they are very inconsiderate characters when someone's else money is concerned.

As a slight diversion to my usual sightseeing and frequent dining, I was interested also on that same trip, to eye at some condominiums in Thonglor and places like that. I thought perhaps condos would be a good long term investment if I do semi-retire
in Thailand. I told her about that and immediately she got the smell of money. Mind you, all these times with her I never disclosed to her my real wealth because I did not trust her and I wanted more time to build confidence with her. As soon
as I told her about my proposed intention of an investment condo, she became quite interested and started to say things like "If we marry, and for our future, I want you buy house". So the following day, she had arranged
her elder sister to take me to view some houses and one particular townhouse of some 7 million baht took her interest. All the while, I was keeping silent when the whole family showed overt keenness of what they saw. I could sense she was not
very happy when I did not make the decision to buy on the spot. I later told her elder sister, I still needed time to trust "A".

wonderland clinic

She responded by saying "You do it for love". I thought easy for her to say and only if it was SHE who needed to pay for it, then she might change her tone and tact of her remark.

I responded by saying to her "Show me how I could own it in my name, then I will buy it for her". She was silenced. I knew the ways of going about it if I really wanted to but I thought the state of our relationship at the time did not warrant
further energy on my part to pursue this course of action, which as we know both required the involvement of a solicitor and mountains of paperwork and most concerning of all, extra expense.

Then the day came that I needed to return home to Australia. Meanwhile, our correspondence continued until Christmas 2006 when she lost her job and had to resort to earning money by helping a friend out in a market stall. She turned really cold in her
texts to me but requests for money were more direct by January 07 as she belatedly told me she had lost her job and now had nothing to spend. I was very involved with work at the time and also was getting more uncomfortable about my trust for
her. I figured I had really made it too easy for her to take from me. This is because whenever she asked me before, I almost unquestionably sent her support money. I always remember I saved her elder sister's life because sometime during
the two years I had known her, "A" told me she contracted cancer or something of a cervix and needed an operation quickly. I know what the readers may think here, it could be a scam and they could well be right but I unfortunately never
got to know because it was said to be in her private area. I wired the money to her. She survived the operation. And you know what; she was totally ungrateful. Apart from the "thank you" at the beginning, she quickly forgot her savoir.
If the tables were turned the other way, and it was me I would have remembered my savoir for the term of my natural life. I would have at least sent token cards or called every now and again to ask about the well-being of him or her. But NO, never
from her, not even one Christmas card, one SMS, or email to show she remembered the life-saving deed she received from me. Nor did I ever feel in anyway she had any intention of returning her kindness to me sometime in the future. (You know the
Buddhism teaching).

So, back to where I dropped off. I decided then that I had already booked my ticket to Bangkok end of January 2007; only three weeks away at the time of her urgent request for spending money. I told her I would give her the money when I see her at the
airport. I wanted to make her, for once, work for her money. I was not asking too much, am I, Stick? <Quite reasonable given her errant waysStick> She was upset, and replied with an email saying that
she decided she did not need my support anymore and literally told me our relationship was over. GOOD BYE AND THANK YOU!

At that point, I knew my decision to not trust her was correct. Many thoughts sprang to mind; What if I had bought her the house in her name back then? Her true colours shown through there and then, she was a cold, heartless liar. Her love was totally
CONDITIONAL upon how much money I gave her. Express mathematically, LOVE = function (money), and it was crystal clear that it was a mirage. Luckily for me what I lost was comparatively small. If I had bought her the house I would imagine being
locked out and I would have no legal standing in a Thai court for claim of ownership; that would definitely spell the loss of serious money and face on my part!

My day of departure arrived and I left for Bangkok with a heavy heart and an uncertain future. I texted her about my arrival time but I knew she wouldn't turn up and later confirmed my worse fear and that her mobile was switched off and so was her
sister's. It was a concerted action to USE me and it fxxked me off. My ticket was booked for a two month stay in Thailand and yet I had no one to enjoy it with. Luckily, I put a contingency plan in place before departure and weighed up all
the possible scenarios. I upgraded my membership in one of those internet dating sites. I was able to procure a few Thai ladies to meet but nothing definite. So my first week in Bangkok was miserable. Paradoxically, I was counting down to go home
in the beginning.

Then, I lined up few appointments in the North East, Isaan. Time spent in Isaan was quite nice with couple of ladies but they were really not the type that I could fall in love with. I went around Udon and made some friends who later introduced me to
one Thai lady in her mid 30s and was apparently still virgin. I took her to dinner, movie and walk in the park and had no intimate time together at all. I felt no attraction to her so I did not want to take it any further. But she was thinking
differently to me.

After I left Udon, my phone rang hot days and nights from this lady who was apparently madly "in love" with me. Unfortunately, it was not a mutual feeling, oh well, that's life. I travelled to nearby towns of Nongkhai and Kaen Kaen, met
other ladies there too. Later into the trip, I met with one other lady in Bangkok. She was originally from Khon Kaen. She was ok but of quite bad health. I treated her well with kindness and took her for a full X-ray in a private hospital on my
expense. We shared friendly times and enjoyed dining in simple restaurants. She reciprocated her kindness to me and was accommodating. She showed interest in me and told me few times she loved me and she was happy in my company. She bought me
some foods and one time bought me lunch of sticky rice (khow neow), fried chicken (khai tot), fried fish (phra benin tot). She was a virgin, and her insistence of preserving that for marriage was truly
gracious and deserved my respect.

I searched further in the net and later met up with a village girl in her early 30s from Buriram. I went to meet her in Buriram. She is dirt poor. I cried to myself when I reflected on the visit to her parents' house. She is a nice lady. I met her
in middle of March 2007. I spent two weeks with her. I really like her. She is a simple girl. That is all I want, someone simple, down-to-earth and genuine who can give and receive love unconditionally. Someone who really cares for you, happy
being together and share a simple life with you.

Thus far, she seems to be the most genuine one I have found. She never asked me for money even though she is dirt poor. I volunteered to help her with debt of gold pawn which I knew she and her family was grateful to me. Her English is poor and verging
on non-existence but I have learnt some Thai and can converse to be understood but still a long way to go. I think that I have really helped me to find "good" Thai girls. The ones that have not been exposed to temptation of sex trades
and still have their traditional Thai values intact in their traits. They all have motives to find husbands. One clear motive is money support and the betterment of life for herself and her family. I think that is fair for them. If the lady can
love her man unconditionally, naturally her man will provide without even asking, you think, this is fair?

What I found in a lots of cases is that Thai ladies placed financial conditions ahead of love. That, to me is the wrong approach. Some ladies I found to be sheer greedy. In one instance of a lady I met in Udon, I was told her motive is to find a rich
farang to fund her bank debt of a car loan running to hundreds of thousands baht. This is on top of what she also expected farang to give her in sin-sot if she ever married him. I find this to be unpalatable proposition. So, I
met her, was nice to her, listened to her, took her out for dinners and movies and bought her some gifts and shared some laughter and tender moments and moved on.

Well, life is but a journey! We are just a poor time traveller. My journey is far from over. I am intending to go back next month to learn more about my Buriram girl. Even though I am cautiously optimistic, it is early days yet and this new relationship
could possibly go pear-shape too. I hope not, but I am realistic. I have learnt from experience and from here on, hopefully wiser.

I have also completed a TEFL course on top of my Bachelors degree in Economics and Diploma in Electronic Technology and intend to make myself useful, possibly as English teacher in my middle years if I ever semi-retired and pursue a life of indolence
in THE LAND OF SMILES. For my new intended teaching career, I think I need a lots of help and advice from readers or even prospective employers (if they happened to be amongst the readers, I want to say to them: PLEASE EMPLOY ME!!) and of course
from Stick, choke dee lae duu laar tuao eng kup!

Stickman's thoughts:

What I found most interesting about this story is tat you are from Malaysia, one of Thailand's neighbours, yet reading your submission implies that the women of Malaysia are quite different to the women of Thailand and the sorts of things you experienced in Thailand likely would not occur in Malaysia.

nana plaza