Geeks, Creeps and Uniques

Hello to all,

My latest visit to L.O.S was around 8 months and I returned home vowing not to go again for some time. I wrote this submission shortly after but elected not to send it in partly due to the fact that I thought it fell some way short of the other superb articles I read week in week out and secondly I feel my portrayal of the Thai scene may have been a bit harsh. However, for reasons that will become apparent in the final paragraph, I have decided to put it forward…

I have been a frequent visitor to the land of smiles over the last five years; my most recent visit there was August 06. During all of my visits I have indulged in the naughty nightlife of the Sukhumvit areas such as Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy. I have also been to Pattaya and have always enjoyed that particular scene. However, I came away this time with a bit of a different take on things, whether this was due to the ‘seen it all before’ factor or not, by the end of the holiday the thought of coming back to the UK did not disappoint me as much as I thought. I have grown tired of all the bar fines and afternoon delight that had once provided much welcome relief. Now all I see are girls obsessed with money who will shaft their “man for the night” to go with another, knowing that they can bleed more money out of that farang than the one they were with.

I think also that you can break the populous down into many defined categories of punters who make their way to Thailand in their millions every year. Firstly you have your older gentlemen maybe looking for a quick fix in the likes of naughty boy corner or Fannys; maybe they go to acquire some kind of long-term relationship, a bit of companionship that they no longer have back home. I must say that on this trip I did not see this, but more of the creepy older guy foaming at the mouth at the thought of three girls getting it on in the Jacuzzi in Club Boesche. Sat with them, their lady in waiting, a slightly older Thai lady who is there for no other reason than to mop up their chins after their show is over.

I also believe, and again this is just my opinion and I wish not to offend anyone, that you also have “Geeks”, guys who really don’t have the social skills or looks to snare a decent girl back home (and I place myself in this category) who come to Thailand and feast on delights they can only dream of in their homeland. This in itself is not too troubling, but the fact that these guys buy into the fantasy that “she really does like me”, or “I think she loves me”, is what I find amazing. I am sure there is a small percentage where this is the case, but c’mon chaps, wake up and smell the Lipo. That’s all that interests them at the end of the day. I am sure these girls will “love you long time” for 2000 baht a night. I am sure that there are instances were “True Love” is found, and I am aware of a couple, but they are few and far between.

This time my indulgences did not really take off and instead I had the time to just sit and observe the characteristics of the passers by. So, thirdly, you have what I like to call the uniques. People who really don’t fall into either of the two above categories, these people have to be seen to be believed. I am talking leather waistcoats, with leather pants and bandanas, moustaches of obscenely large proportions, super tight white jeans and cowboy boots. Bum bags and Speedos, you get the idea. These people may indulge but are so far removed from reality that they probably have no idea where they are or what they are doing. They could be on the moon and would still not know where they were.

There is also a small proportion of people who are there for other reasons such as stag dos etc. Where the basis of the short holiday is to bang as many birds as possible. These package deal tours with first timers, I can almost understand. The first time I went to Pattaya, I was caught up in it all and was mesmerised by the neon lights and lack of clothing on show. Maybe I am becoming a bored, cynical idiot in my older years (31) but something has changed about the place. Maybe it’s the local cliental, or the girls' hungry desire for more money that makes them less enigmatic than they once were. But all in all, I will be giving it a miss for the foreseeable future. Having said that, give it a month, and I’ll be back over there just to see whether this was just a phase I was going through.

…So there we have it. And the reason that I have chosen this point to send my submission in? 7 days ago I booked my ticket back over. My God! What is it about this place the lures me and countless others back there every year and sometimes twice a year. I’d like to say it’s the pleasant weather and placid beaches but I’d be lying. It’s all about having a good time. And I guess if you’re going to have a good time, where better than Thailand.

Stickman's thoughts:

I think it's really hard to stereotype or categorise the people who holiday in Thailand. So many people choose to holiday here that you have a little bit of everything.