Letters From Thailand
Last week I was cleaning up my mail box and suddenly started reading the emails from my wife when we first started our correspondence. Back then I used to wait eagerly every day for her email. At that time still we did not meet each other so I was very excited to read her emails and imagine about her daily life; life of a very simple Thai lady staying in a remote mountain school. Now we are married and I know deeply who used to write those emails; the heart and mind behind those letters. But still my feelings from those days are fresh. And when ever I read through those emails I feel very warm. I wanted to share some of those in order to portray life of a simple Thai lady who went through hell in her life and survived. I just pasted those mails as they were written without any correction. They are full of spelling and grammatical mistakes as my wife's English is far from perfect but they carry her true voice.
Thank you for you interested in my profile. A little about me, I'm Teacher at Chiang Rai province, I like joke because I want to see people laughing always but for looking my real man I'm serious, it's mean to future and warm family. I like to learn new thing always. I'm sweet woman and very important in me that honest, respect and true, I think that important for warm family.
If you want to deep relation hope we can learn for knowledge.
And how about you, your life?
sorry, hope you don't mind my question.
I'm nice to hear from you and understand because I too don't want mistake so I must carefully for finding someone who is right man. Although I past hard bad experience but I never make myself in sad always, I like people around me happy, smile so I have a lot of friend. I'm teacher at Chiang Rai province, this month is my holiday on 10 May I will come back to work. I have my son only 1 month in my stomach when my ex husband hanging him self because he can't together other woman, she don't accept him. I sad but I have strong mind, patient, I can past bad experience by pure mind.
Because my experience made me carefully for looking my man who know understand person, honest, ready to build warm family. I'm quiet sweet, faithful, respect,… everything that can make my new warm family. Teacher is important for Thai people, people give respect so who is teacher much in Tradition, culture.
I Never mind if you want relation like friend, I understand and I can friend everybody.
Thank you, and how about you?
Thank you for you like my attitude that is important in me and I want to tell you if we learn together but you don't like me maybe I'm not your right woman, I will understand I think very important for each person for looking right person. Nice for you practice VIPASANA, yes! it can help for make pure mind, no worry…. anything include for good healthy too. Buddhist believe in good or bad such as If I make good thing, I will get good thing too and if I make bad, I will get bad that I think it reality in person life.
About your question.
I am teacher at primary school, I teach every subject for children in my class. My son he is 1 year old, intelligence boy, I poor in his life he no have father. For Thai marry life important than every thing that is respect because without respect can't together but for me, beside that I think true, chance, reason, honest, faithful, helpful, understand, sweet.and everything that can help make warm family. I know nobody not perfect and I don't hope my man must perfect but I hope true for together, Thai woman who is nice, nobody want have many man(husband) in her life, me too if no have right man for me, I glad to alone. Sorry, you maybe think I'm very serious, I'm not, I like funny but for knowledge need to serious.
Do you think like me?
For everything we need the time for learn.
for this mail I know have thing for ask, pls ask me.
p.s if you know about how to go my school, maybe you don't believe!
Take care your mind.
I think now we have some thing strong in our relation, I like you have kind for other person, I understand this : if you can love and have compassion to other that mean to you have good mind. I felt you have responslity. Yes I ever seen the picture of California, very nice place and have something like Chiang Rai that 's surrounded by mountain ! Ha Ha (not easy for travel).
Thank you for you respect my culture and you don't worry about your body, I don't mind about face or body, we should look in mind ok? me too not beautiful but I have true in my mind. Do you to have my photo? and Can you send me your photo? if you have the picture of your kids pls send too. I have child so I know to love other too. Udon Thani and Chiang Rai far about 600 km. I take air bus to Chiang Rai for 14 hours. Don't worry about me I can waiting to see you. I train to singing always for sing to you, Ha Ha!
I like karaoke. you too pls sing to me!
I maybe don't beautiful but you sure will not have mistake for me.
I feel good today when I saw your mail. Yes I used computer in my free time because I must typed plan for teach my student but I don't intelligence, I only use and print, karaoke, games, type, collected photo about my work,. I hope we can learn deep knowledge and can go to real relation, I felt you very like Thai people about thinking, understand life.
About photo I won't send to you I agree with you. Inside mind better for everything. I felt you enjoy for your work and your life that because you understand life, nature.
You can use your life in every where, if you are good person I think like that.
Now we know only net but I felt good to you, hope when we meet can get good relation.
This mail I sent my photo to you and the photo with my son, I'm had a little weight but now I can diet, the photo with black it's me now, hope you like it. I disturb for your tried, take care your healthy. Your son very lovely, yes like girl that maybe your ex wife very beautiful. Your work very hard, I think. How many day you have holiday a week? for my work I have 2 holiday a week that Saturday and Sunday. I too must come back for my hard work like you but I ready, I love my occupation, I love children, I pound when see they have knowledge for can applies in them life. And you don't have time for travel in 3 months?
I know you have hard work, I want you know I care very much for you.
Thank you for poem, yes! I like it that is real in nature, Buddhist believe in real, did good, get goo too and if we have good thinking in mind we will happy, everything happen from our heart, our soul like Thai said "Sawan yoo nai aok Narok yoo nai jai" that mean to if we have good thinking we can happy in life, if we have bad in mind we get unhappy. Maybe I don't well understand in English but I know in Thai well. That the answer why I can passed my bad experience only oneself, I tried to understand and tried to make good deed, so today I no have worry in mind. that because pure mind. I very surprise you, you are very nice, you know many Buddhism maybe more than me and Thai people. I like your mind and respect.
Thank you for God that I met you and have chance for knowledge.
hoe you have wonderful life always.
Today you must come back for you work again, for me must prepare for my trek to Chiang Rai, I must take air bus with my son, my mom about 14 hours and don't finish only that after arrived to Chiang Rai, must take car rent for 4-5 hours to school about 80 km.but the way very difficult so long time. I don't know when I can send mail to you again so for this mail I send best wish from Thailand for you, your son and you parent. Yes ! your son very lovely, but sorry can you tell me about your married life?(if you can ok?) I hope your son happy, I feel care very much for them because I have son and he have not perfect family but I think, if we can give full love to him, they don't have feel hurt, I have fine flexible about family, chail. Why? I don't know maybe because I 'm mother.
After my bitter past, I knew many thing about truth, and tried to understand everything by peace and I give my son 's first name is Pob-tam that mean to "person who meet truth."
I have patient for meet good future with my right man, maybe I can see the sky after rain storm, I believed. Sorry! you have hard work and I told you hard narrative and sorry for long mail. Tomorrow before go to Chiang Rai I will go to for check mail again if you send mail to me, I can get it tomorrow. I felt good when I since I know you, like my best friend so I CAN TOLD YOU MANY THING IN MY MIND, hope you don't mind, and if you want to tell me about you pls, I want to know for share experience.
Hope you have wonderful life.
Today I start my life by happy, I heard your voice son nice, I waiting you because I know you in your mail and when I know in your vice it can made me felt very good with you. Yes maybe I rush but now it's o.K. like your warm laugh can made me warm. I like your mind too. And when I arrive to Chiang Rai I will call to you. And if you can call me. pls call every time but not after 07.00pm.(AT NIGHT) because I must run out from my room for speak with you not good for me, I think you understand, we talk already.
I knew you happy always because you have peace in your mind.
Thank you very much for your call.
I meet you.
I'm Thai woman who is teacher that Thai people respect in my occupation and maybe my culture and my family treat about this too, I want keep myself for my right man only, Yes! I'm not virgin, I have 1 son but not mean to I can together another
man for easy, No! for me.
By my age and my experience, I need carefully, if I not trust I can't meet and together and If my ex husband don't do that I no way for look for another too.
I thought you ever lived in Thai so you maybe understand my culture.ok! I will stop my busy story by now.
Let's me know about your married life, sorry but I thought you are kind and friendly, Why your ex-wife can't together you?(DON'T WORRY if you don't want to say, I don't mind or you no have more time for reply don't worry I can waiting, I understand your work).
Hope you have rest time for each day.
Today my friend just arrived to Chiang Rai, she went to visit her husband at Bangkok. last few day I stay with her mother. I knew her when I pregnanted only 1 month after my ex husband die. She is teacher like me but another school not difficult for travel like my school.
I thought my story almost teacher at Chiang Rai province knew because quiet sad for me and everybody that I worked in difficult school and had difficult life, pregnant by no have husband, I'm quiet sad but I must tries for made me fresh, feel good always because I know everybody around me worry and poor in me so I don't want to see everybody feel worry to me.
For my friend too, she and me never know before but she knew me from her friend and she called to me, asked me for met her and take me met the doctor. I impress in her and sure I'm tries to help her everything too.
Now I feel really good and I don't think rush for me looking for another because I want my son have warm family, have father.
Last night when you called to me, my son playing with me, he pulled my long hair and rode my back.
yes we happy but want some man for fill in life together.
Hope you meet me.
Sa-bai-dee-mai? I sa-bai-dee.Where you now, my time now 09.06 am. I waiting your call, I want to call you but I thought maybe you having busy work so I don't call to you. Last night I arrived to school 09.30pm and my son slept already that first
time I far from my son I really worry home but everything passed by well he 's ok. How about your work now? your time now evening, do you eat dinner?
By the way, about my parent they are rice farmer at own them farm not much but we can eat own rice don't buy from another. After finish farm my father will go to his work but not sure because sometime have work some time no, his work like or same same labour because he must do example work for worker, do you understand, sorry for my English. And How about you, do you like Chiang Rai or Udon Thani, I guest that you like Chiang Rai, are you?
I guessed that.
You plan to live in Thailand in the future, are you? What do you plan in your future? And about we talk 2 days past, I can't remember every topic that you ask me sorry I have thinking with my work so maybe I forgot some topic if you want to know, pls ask me in your mail, ok? Why you don't call to me ? maybe I can't sleep because I don't heaar your voice, ha ha ha.
Hope you felt fresh in your evening time.
Thank you for lovely mail, Yes I can passed my bad experience but in fact before I born my son when I prenanted my mind so pain and weak, I missed my husband everyday can't eat, I'm so thin but I afraid for my child not good healthy so I tried to acted a lot but I can't sleep I thought all time for him and his woman still called to me said anything between him and her that can made me nerves. Everybody thought I must die like him but I'm not I can live after I born my son at first time I can remember when I heard his voice I felt motherly in my mind, he no have father and innocence, he can't help himself but my husband he graduated from university like me he had good knowledge but he don't know value in his life, How can I help him? No nobody can't help. AND FOR HIS WRONG BECAUSE he drunk and he don't know himself he don't know what happen.
I forgive him for his wrong I tried to understand tries to start and grow our love, I still do my good duty wife for him but he can't stop to contact her and her tries to contact him, I really cool but I don't know what he decided for die, not I can thought his life just can only that cannot continued. I can't sad for him again because I thought so much in past, no my duty is mother I must do my duty by good that I can do?
Everybody must know how to accept oneself and another and respect another too everybody value in themselves. Hope you understand and happy for my true that I told you.
I'm only a simple woman who not perfect but have great true.