So putting pen to paper, I thought I would follow up the sweeping statement I made in the previous submission and in response to some comments both on this site and in received emails not at all scared off by responses and as I stated it’s my opinion,
no one else’s and I am more then happy to be further educated both by people that agree or prefer to differ in opinion, it’s called constructive debate. Note I say agree and disagree, emails from both sides of this fence.
Now to make one thing clear at no point was I referring to the existing and historical issue of prostitution in Thailand related solely to the Thais in the Thai sector (may be considered slavery up to the point of mass rape in some circumstances). That’s historical fact has been here dating back when we all believed the world was flat. The same goes for Eastern European countries, western countries, the roman empire etc; in fact all through history most civilizations have had this to some extent or another.
Note a trend of poverty tends to drive this type of existence for the fairer sex or slavery (Stick I am not referring to the Farang / tourist trade with the slavery remark). As poverty is removed the populous educated the trade becomes less prominent, is driven more underground. A few exceptions where it is legalized and controlled. So thank to all for the history lesson on the Thai side of things.
So my focus was on the trade to the farang / sex tourist etc. So the sex industry in Thailand has been around for along time to service the Thais. The demand for the likes of Pattaya, Patpong etc is created and driven by western requirements. What I am saying is the money and the fact that they have little education and an extremely poor background pull in the girls working there. Would Pattaya be such a thriving meat market if Thailand provided a class education, jobs that pay decent money and true career prospects, the answer is no no no no. No girl happily does that to her body.
So these girls are poorly educated but become street smart quickly. They do get messed around, lied to and they push back. The statement I heard in on one particular reply “Girls catering to the foreigners want to be there”, “yeah right” you really think if you went to recruit these girls up north to a bar and offered them a choice a good job at 50K a month or a prostitute in Pattaya they would opt for the latter. “By the way been here 2 years now, know allot of girls, dealt with allot of people through my work that know allot of the girls through both Thai and western contacts, through various venues, never met one yet that really wanted to be a prostitute but circumstances drove her to it and she hoped for a way out. You really think if there were a balanced living standard here these people would happily chose this life. There may be exceptions but certainly not the rule.
Now to address my experience on the gift thing. Yep the Thais love gifts, top of that list is GOLD with all Thais. People buy that special necklace, ring, and bracelet. Well allot of this ends up in 3 situations, again from my observations.
The first she holds onto it while the person in question keeps in contact i.e. money supply and he may come back, though the sick buffalo may get involved here to justify the gift of love vanishing..
The second the, tourist thinking she has something nice to remember me by leaves. Contact ends, she is off to cash it in. Been there, walked 2 girls to the jewelers to do this they were worried about being robbed. Been told by numerous people pretty standard practice, this includes one of the jewelers in Pattaya I know very well through work dealings, my girlfriend and a number of her ex associates, most contacts broken there now.
The third she up-scales the gold, once she has collected sufficient shiny stuff she will trade for something bigger or better lots of little things a pain to manage, big is shinier, better and more face. So that nice reminder is not really a reminder anymore.
The point I was trying to make on gifts in the previous submission was not don’t do it. It’s a nice thing to do feels good from the giver and the girl is happy. But if you think you have a future opportunity or she is the one, why do so many people go over the top spend more then they can really afford and set an ongoing expectation with the girl. Have a friend in this situation. He spent a huge amount on this one girl 70K in a week, who knows how much in previous visits, she expected this royal treatment every time he came. She also has another US supporter by the way. So anyway he’s moved to Thailand now, She loves all things shiny, drinking with her mates he pays. He’s got a job on around 35K per month, I give them no chance. Tried to advise talk him out of the situation but he’s hooked.
As to the fact I live with an ex BG and do I care about the thought of other westerners how they are looking thinking they may of slept with her am I squeamish about this, Well frankly no, I don’t give a hoot (as she said forget them), I don’t need to or care to live in the sex districts like allot of people flock to, bird of a feather and all that, “did that for 12 months”, got boring (occasional outing for beer exception) much more fun and enlightening to have Thais for neighbors, the nights out are way more fun then just gogo bars and blind drunkenness, it’s called integrating into a society. I know that’s never completely possible in Thailand but I’m working on it.
The girl in question has never asked me for any money, no allowance is paid monthly, we buy what we need and what is needed to support her children who are fantastic, we have some fun. My wallet is completely intact and the small investment I made with her in some land that she is working is paying dividends and my financial input completely protected. She has only lied to me on 2 occasions early on over trivial issues, I caught her out instantly, addressed it and since she has been brutally honest (wish she had lied at times), so the lie thing is dealt with and need to be. She understands I will accept the truth, If she is really uncomfortable about talking with me she tells one of our friends who then discusses with me (The Thai way I believe). I grew up with a lawyer as a farther, he knew when someone is lying to him and what to watch for, it’s an ability lawyers (the good ones) have to have and is picked up by their children as they try to lie there way through bad situations, all races and creeds give away subtle signs however good they are. I know her history, she knows mine. I have a very good job here in Thailand the past is behind us both, looking to the future.
Will I stay, who knows I get itchy feet ever 4 years or so and tend to move countries so will have to see, but if I’m going anywhere she and her children are coming with me. As to marrying her, yes we will, the sin sot dealt with, just as an addition here to emphasize point 3 made above regarding farang presents she has changed all her gold for new to put in so her family gains the face they desire so thanks I guess to the farang out there, I will still buy some but it’s not allot. Her family treats me well, no sick anything and if the cow gets sick, I guess I will help deal with it, I bought it.
On trust does she sneak around behind my back, no she stays with me away from all that she hates it. If she is not with me she is at her farm working hard, looking after her house and children (her house not paid for by me), both children soon to live with us. How do I know, well work gets done at the farm, she calls me often I can always call her, the noise of the farm (one particular cockerel in particular that is looking for barbeque) is always in the background not found the farmyard gogo yet “there’s and Idea” and depending on my work schedule I arrive at different times and days. Another occasion she ends up in the local hospital after a scorpion sting, no one can fake the pain I saw her in from that. Since she is not from the north it’s a short trip in the truck to her home and family for me.
She loves her 2 children (13 and 9) and for that the reason she did what she did, she wants them educated with good prospects, I can help with that and I’m happy to be part of that. My age is within a few years of hers so I will be around to see the results.
So I never proclaimed to be an expert as some seem to be / think, that takes way too much time and risk, I know one girl, former BG now back in the village she’s HIV positive, wonder how many farang she has taken with her. It’s sad and a little pitiful to watch, second time I have had to see this, previously a close relative in the UK. I definitely never claimed to know much about the Thai side of thing, never really want to. Just thought I would express my thoughts and opinions and experiences however insignificant and possibly not all correct.
So thanks for the comments both in agreement and disagreement but without that discussion the world would be a much less interesting experience.
On one last point Dana, last submission I agree with you (not to you being God), people with no intention to get involved with a Thai should stay well away from the so called good girls it does no one any good.
Sorry readers, I am too tired at the end of the week to tidy up the sentence structure and yikes, his email address suggests he is a fellow countryman of mine.