The Younger Man
I am a great fan of the Stickman site and religiously read the reader submissions at work, much to the chagrin of my boss. I thank each and every one of you souls for sharing your stories as they help me whittle away my boring hours here staring at the computer monitor.
Anyways, as background: I am currently 23 and work at a successful software company in Canada. I have been to Thailand 3 times and lived there with my ex-girlfriend for 3 months up in the northern reaches of the Kingdom. I am by no means an expert on
the subject of the LOS but I will offer up the perspective of that "younger guy" who dated an older Thai woman.
There she was. A cheerful smile, timid good looks, silky black hair, and eyes that could melt the heart of many a man.
Since arriving in Pai I had noticed her the first time she served us at the local movie theater / restaurant conglomeration. “That waitress is cute.” I told my friend. He nodded in agreement. That was as far as my thoughts went at the time.
But there I was again sitting in the same restaurant at the laughably named “Monsoon Love Party”. It truly was pissing cats and dogs outside so I guess it was suitable. As me and my two cohorts sat and drank we chewed the fat and got suitably buzzed from the local brew. Then it happened. She came over. With a camera.
“Can I take a picture?” she said sweetly. Thinking she just meant get out of the way and let her take a picture of something I just smiled and told her matter of factly: “of course.” She then proceeded to shyly nuzzle up to me and gave the camera to a friend. Click. The picture included all 3 of us and seemed innocent enough. “Thank you” she said.
Fast forward through more drinking and she comes again. This time she edges out both of my friends and only wants to take a picture with me. Strange. I still shrug it off as I’m buzzed enough to have my judgment a wee bit clouded.
Third time and I knew something was up. Her friend finally came sauntering over. He was a spectacled man around 30 years of age. “My sister likes you.” You don’t say dear man! He invited me over to drink with their group and I was
quickly introduced to Nui. Her English wasn’t exactly scholarly but we still had a great time chatting and drinking. I found myself to be more and more attracted to her by the minute. But in my head I knew I had to be moving on to Australia
within a couple weeks. My mind racing, we ended the night when the place closed up and proceeded back to our guesthouse.
Impossibilities and Apathy
Over the next few days my friends and I didn’t step foot in the restaurant but the image of this beautiful girl stuck in my head. The waterfalls and temple sightseeing did nothing to alleviate the feelings I had for her. But what could I really do? I was leaving in a couple of weeks.
I finally broke down when I saw her outside of her restaurant lighting up a birthday cake for her friend. I’m generally a shy guy so I swallowed hard and walked up to her. She was delighted to see me and immediately had a blinding smile plastered on her face. I mumbled some gibberish I don’t remember but managed to squeeze in a “want to join me for dinner one night?” She agreed reluctantly as she had to work 7 days a week. I would find out later she owned and operated the restaurant by herself and was busy 14+ hours a day.
So we went to a local eatery and one of the first things to come up was the question of age. From first glance Nui looked no more than 24. “How old are you?” I pondered. “Take a guess.” Oh no. Here we go. So started low. “23?” She giggled and responded, “higher.” “24?” “Nope.” “25…26…27?” “Nope, nope, nope.” More giggling and smiling. Finally she admitted to being 29 years old. At that time she was 9 years older than me. I was a little shaken up at the discovery but didn’t let it faze me. She was beautiful and I was infatuated with her. The lunch continued with her discovering my age (she was highly amused that I was so young), and we generally had a good time shooting the breeze in simplified English. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, What am I doing? I need to leave Thailand in a couple weeks. But that didn’t stop me. I told her I would love to continue seeing her, but did manage to let the metaphorical cat out of the I-am-leaving-for-Australia-in-two-weeks bag. She frowned but agreed that we should see each other more before I leave.
No sex. No debauchery. Just a good time had by both parties involved.
The Tears of Reality
We saw each other almost every day, mostly chatting at her restaurant as she worked. The day for my departure was rapidly approaching and I had almost forgotten all about it.
I showed up to the restaurant late one night to find no one there except for Nui’s friend Sang. In broken English he managed to tell me that Nui wanted me to come join her at her friend’s place for dinner. He pointed over to his motorbike which we both rode up to a secluded house in the countryside. Feeling like a real stranger in a strange land I walked into the place to find a group of people sitting around with paintings everywhere. I got a grand welcome from everyone and Nui quickly grabbed me and introduced everyone. The owner of the place was a fine artist, and the rest of the bunch was just as eccentric as him. We all sat on the floor, Thai-style, and tucked into a fine Northern meal. They all laughed when I almost cried from the spices. I took it in stride and we all had a good time.
After dinner, as the other guests were howling out karaoke, Nui took me outside. I could already see some moisture around her eyes. “I really like you.” She says. “I do too.” Tears were starting to form. I could see where this was going and found it hard to continue. She stammered, “I really want you to stay here.” That’s when the waterworks started and I knew I was going to be suckered in. Hell, I’m only human. By the end of the night I had agreed to stay for an extra couple of weeks while my two friends continued on to Australia. I would meet them and continue my journey, albeit a bit later. Not a huge deal.
The next two weeks flew by. Our relationship blossomed and I could hardly stand a minute apart from her. I just loved everything about the way she talked, the way she looked, and the way she could turn my heart to putty. She was the most subservient girlfriend I had ever had, constantly offering to make me food at the oddest hours. Even if I refused she would bring me food anyways. It’s a miracle I didn’t gain half my body weight from eating so much. I learned that she had lived in Pattaya and had a successful tattoo parlour with her ex Thai boyfriend but ran away after she was abused by him. She ended up in Pai with only a few satang to her name, but managed to start up her own restaurant business that turned out to be highly successful due to her diligence and keen customer service. While in Pai she had met another farang who was working at another bar as a chef. They had had a fairly long relationship but he ended up breaking her heart by moving back to jolly old England and by pretty much cutting her off. Most of the time I could see right through her smiles, into that pent up sadness she had inside.
I moved to a new guesthouse that her friend worked at. She would sneak in at night like a schoolgirl and I eventually convinced her to stay the night (this was about 5 days into our serious relationship). She was constantly worried about what her friend would think if he saw us together. Cute, but annoying. As a gentleman I won’t divulge the details about our first night together, but I can say she was no slouch. I was well and truly hooked.
As my flight was already booked I couldn’t get out of going to Oz. My departure was filled with tears but I promised to keep in touch with her while I was away…
To Be Continued?
I hope I didn’t bore you all with my long winded introduction. I am only writing to judge if there is any interest in hearing the perspective of a younger farang who got corralled into a relationship with a Thai girl. Please feel free to contact me and let me know what you thought.