This Special BG Follow Up And Nearing Its End
I am the same sentimental (or stupid?) man who posted "This special BG" story a few days ago.
Every story has to come to an end. This is not a bad ending story even if I lost some more illusions about life in general and the real end will be in July.
This soi 33 lady is honest, it is refreshing as she is the first woman in a long time who always answers honestly. To sum it up, she is quite a few levels above her BG sisters in every respect.
She is not perfect though and she, as everyone, has her bad side.
She has no sponsors, no boyfriends, no husbands and no sick buffaloes. She never asked for money to be sent. She has expensive tastes but I can live with that although not being
very wealthy I earn a decent salary without working a lot (around 120 – 130k baht / month).
She is very attractive, intelligent, smart, has a beautiful smile and speaks very good English (at least for Thailand). She could make 100k+ baht / month just lying on her back more frequently. She could get plenty of sponsors, she could get a lot more money but…..she is at the moment too honest to do it and does not want to. Why is it not going to work between us?
I can deal with the fact that her heart is owned by someone else who left her life, so she likes me but does not love me. Am I ready to make my life with someone who does not love me? (By western standards, but could we define what love is?) Yes, and I would not be different from many others westerners who spend their life with someone who does not really love them.
She openly admits she does not love me but just likes me. Would she be ready to live with someone she does not love? Probably, like some other Thai women who get married. Am I serious about making my life with her and being faithful, taking care of her needs and the ones of her family etc…? Yes.
So why the hell could it not work between us? Just because she asked one thing to Stickman… (I mainly hired his services to have another opinion about her personality.) What is this thing? They talked about the divorce thing, first in Thailand and then in Europe. It is partly my fault as I talked about the divorce issue pronounced under my country's law. It was meant to make her more secure if we ever live together so if I dump her she would not be penniless. And her question was: How much she could get from a planned divorce…..
Now, I already stated she is not the typical gold-digger although she could get heaps of money if she wanted.
Maybe it was just a thought that was not that serious but….am I ready to try to make my life with someone who, even if she thought about it just for once and never again, is able to think about such a thing?
I am afraid my answer is no. I am really ready to make every possible thing to make her secure and feel at ease with, I must admit, the secret hope she would stay with me and come to love me, I am even ready to marry her so she gets the security it legally provides in my country.
What disturbs me is, if I ask her in July about this issue (in a disguised way so that Stickman could not be involved) and if she ever thought about a planned divorce, I am sure she will tell me the truth, so I put the fact she is not a gold-digger but can think about such things on this special Thai-way of thinking…..
And though I hope she will find her special someone I see her future like this: As the man she loves will never be back in her life.
– She will get married with a man she likes less than me but getting older she will have to secure her future.
– She will stay in the bar and get hardened and colder as time passes.
Now, I am not that happy but I have to tell her that we could not make it together. As I made her some promises and as I always keep them when I make some, I will have to:
– Go there in July (flight already booked).
– Bring her birthday present.
– Invite her to my country if she still wants to come.
And then find a way to tell her that we have no future. I feel my month of July will be like hell on earth for me.
Am I ready to marry her and count on the fact that she will decide I am not such a bad husband and stay with me?
I would like to, but my brain tells my heart it would be a stupid move even if there is a
chance it could work. I am not that afraid to lose my pants, but I fear that if I make this move and get tricked then I would be totally destroyed.
Feel free to mail me but please spare me the usual crap like "All BG are bad etc…."
Knowing what to do is very difficult, but I always think it is best to follow the brain, and not the heart.