Readers' Submissions

Superstars And Angels

  • Written by Anonymous
  • June 15th, 2006
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Hello to everyone, how are you?

I was having a sort out and I come across an old newspaper. After a quick look I noticed something amusing. Maybe you will share my amusement?

The reason it made me laugh is because it reminded me of a game we played when we were kids. The game was to make a list of tracks from pop artists and with a minimum of poetic license simply tweak them to become humorous. This worked particularly well if you could relate the song to something that had happened in real life; especially involving one of your mates and the more cynical or obscene or even true the funnier it became.

So here we go and you will see superstars become broken men and have to tell everyone about their misadventures with Thailand’s angels!

This weeks (wise Farang) top 20, starting at the bottom of the pile;

TITLE (Genuine, well nearly) SUPERSTAR

Daughter of darkness Tom Jones

Thailand girl Elton John

The girl is mine Michael Jackson

I’m into something good Dana!

I heard it through the grapevine Marvin (I wish I was) Gaye

I will survive Ex-Pat Rappers Gang

It ain’t what you do it’s the way Marty WILD!
that you do it

You were made for me Frankie goes to Bangkok

If I was a carpenter / Gerry needs a Pacemaker
I’d build the house in Issan

I don’t want to talk about it Billy Fury..ous

Now plenty more excitement as we reach “THE TOP 10”
(Some of the newsprint is a bit fuzzy)

Evil woman Electric (now we seen the) Light
Orchestra

Is there something I should know? Eric (have I got the) Clap-Ton?

Tears New Kids on The Block

Things can only get better CULTURE Club

So you win again Madness

Love don’t live here anymore Simple Minds

Everything I own Band Aid

Part time love Dire Straights

Suspicion INXS yup in- excess!

So we reach the top with the artist from my home town in the UK and I haven’t made this one up but I do assure you the captain appears far from sensible!

One night in Bangkok Captain Sensible

So would it be sensible to only stay one night???? I have no idea my friends.

Now I daren’t leave the subject here without hearing from the girl’s. So I have taken the trouble to obtain a selection from the girls. I am of course totally unbiased and neutral. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m cynical either, after all being cynical is only being realistic.

This top twenty is courtesy of the darling angels in the entertainment profession in Thailand and around the world.

I apologise to the girls if some meanings were inadvertently altered during translation. I would never intentionally alter anything to my advantage or want to infer that these girl’s intentions were anything other than honourable.

Anyway I’m sure the girls will be far to busy to read this. Mind you on reflection playing connect four is possibly more interesting than reading this and far more financially rewarding.

Here we go then:

TITLE ARTIST

Would I lie to you Soft Sell

He ain’t heavy he’s my brother Sister Sledge
(Yeah right)

Chain reaction Angelic Upstarts

Land of make believe VILLAGE People

Happy talk Various (con) Artists

Wake me up before you Go-Go Girl School

Band of gold Sin Sot Searchers

Puppet on a string Dollar

Strangers in the night Swing Out Sister

I only wanna be with you Supertramp

Hotel California Mel AND Kim

Money for nothing Sting

Karma Chameleon Internet Noi

Daddy cool Mrs Stick

Busy doing nothing Smokie

The plastic age The Go Go’s

Money Money Money The Mamas And Papas

Buffalo Girls Issan Choir

F L M (Fun love money) National Anthem

I’m sorry that the girls only sent me nineteen but they tell me they can not have a number one and it has been deleted this week because nothing can go higher than the national anthem. I think they want to get back to playing connect four.

So what of the superstars and their angels? Elton John recently married his boyfriend, Marty is still “wild, and I think Billy is still furious.
Tom Jones still makes videos with beautiful young Thai girls.
The mamas and the papas still want your money, and I am assured the village people still live in the land of make believe.
There will always be daughters of darkness and a devil in disguise. It does not matter if you are a superstar or nobody, young or old. We all get taken in at some point in our lives but only some can learn and become wiser.

So daddy cool says if you are lonesome tonight have a good time with your dancing queen but be careful you don’t end up like a candle in the wind!

Ha ha! I think I am the pot calling the kettle black but I have been through it all my friends and am now in the very last stage of the irretrievable situation. I tell you that life goes on. There is 10,000 km between me and ex teeruk and I no longer crave to board the plane.

We have both got what we deserve.

She has no money but has four close dependants and has few immediate prospects. She failed because she was too greedy and this led her to be dishonest to the point of betraying me I could send her enough money for life and not even miss it but I will not. What a fool she is.

My cross to bear is the fact that someone I gave my love and loyalty to would repay me with such treachery. (This still hurts sometimes). I wasted much time and money on revenge thinking this would make me feel better but I have learned this is not rewarding.

Will I ever fall for it all again? Am I now immune? Could I be right for thinking my body has now acquired a natural resistance against beautiful Thai girls? Could we market an antidote? Would we want to?

Maybe I will see some of you at Stick’s annual convention (you could make money from this Stick). In the mean time I will have to get by with these Farang girls and the long hot summer days in Farangland and wake up every day in my castle and be happy with my lot.

Stickman's thoughts:

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