What Makes Us Tick
To tell you the truth, I don’t know how many people sent in submissions to this website, but I reckon it’s several hundred and they would have to be authored 99% by farang men. Then add to that the number of readers, they number several thousand by Stickmen’s statistics. Most of the submissions are about relationships between “them and us”, so obviously it is THE subject that preoccupies most of the farang men in Thailand. As a matter of fact, this website had become a quasi group therapy session for a lot of you. The reason I don’t include myself in this category is, that I’m happily married and read your stories to see if I can be of any help in untangling the myriad of problems which are presented here.
I guess you also noticed the fact that a lot of you are complaining about “them”, and yet you still keep trying to make a go of it. Sometimes when your relationship fails and one would think you would have had enough and learned your lesson, a lot of you still try and try again.
I have to admit to being guilty of this practice myself many years ago, so I have some empathy for you guys.
Since I believe that there is a reason for everything, I started to think about how to solve this riddle of being a “glutton for punishment”.
Now you all know what we call “chemistry” between the sexes, a very special interaction between them and us and on a physical level, but my research and explanation is more to do with the mind and mind games we engage in.
So the question arises, what is it that we find so alluring and exciting to be with Thai ladies who are on a different wavelength most of the times, who are unable to express themselves in our languages adequately, who are less than honest and have a different set of values to us?
To start with, let's be honest, a lot of us are sick and tired of relationships with most western women, who ever since the advent of women’s liberation, had become a bunch of ball busting male clones.
I think they are actually doing a dis-service to their own cause and will live to regret this trend.
A lot of perfectly decent western males have come to the conclusion that if they want the type of women who’ll treat them right, they’ll have to look at Asian females. That is not to say that Thai women are the solution to your prayers, as a lot of them have picked up on western customs and values, but you can still find the traditional types if you’re discriminating.
Basically, what we have here is a large number of disillusioned farangs, coming to Thailand in search of women, who can make them feel virile, alive and in a lot of cases, re-live a lifetime of wasted years. Not necessarily wasted in terms of career or financial rewards, but wasted in terms of masculine fulfillments.
Ok, so now here we have a situation that makes you guys put up with a lot of irritations, to say the least, because life had become more fun and games.
After reading a lot of your submissions, I had a REVELATION.
You may not believe this, but I think it’s to do with your collective subconscious feelings about what it is that you’re experiencing with Thai ladies, be they bargirls or others. If you had nothing to complain about, all your girlfriends were just perfect in every way, you’d have been gone by now, either taking them with you or completely giving up on the place, since life would have become too predictable. The reason you’re all here or keep coming back is precisely because of all the “hassles you’re experiencing”, which makes your life a bit like a rollercoaster and never a dull moment. The Thai women are a trigger in this respect, a shot of adrenalin you all need to feed your addiction.
For example: They do not speak English well, so you have to use other means of communications and second guess their intentions. This needs innovation, something new in approaching the problem of getting along with your partner. It is challenging, never ever done in a previous relationship with a western girlfriend. Interesting? I bet. For a while, anyway.
Thai love dramas, have you noticed? They want to emulate their soapie stars from their TV shows. You may become a member of the cast, most of you’ve never been to show business, it’s is exciting. For a while, anyway.
Some of them lie and cheat, don’t turn up when they’re supposed to, unpredictable but interesting. For a while, anyway.
But when they do show up, and they do show affection and make you forget everything else for the moment, they’re worth their weight in gold. And what a chemistry it is when you’re making whoopee with them.
Maybe I can just touch on the physical aspect of it, from my point of view. The “touch” is the operative word here.
There is nothing like touching that velvet smooth, sensuous, dusky, clean and scented Thai female body! Certainly not anything like it with western women, maybe with Latinos, I don’t know too much about that, apart from a short stay in Panama. And what about their lustrous long black hair, thick lips waiting to be kissed and sparkling dark eyes full of promise!
Certainly, the sexual aspect is a very important reason, why you guys “suffer” the myriad of problems with “them”, but it can not be entirely enough to sustain it over the long term.
Asian women make you feel that we are “the king of the jungle”, they give us the opportunity to be nurturing providers and thus makes us feel better men.
This is fine, while the scales are even, and they don’t turn into piranhas. Then it becomes a feeding frenzy over our bodies. You got to be on the alert and make your selection carefully; I finally managed to do that. Then you have the right chemistry that we’re all dreaming about.
While you’re all chasing this rainbow, it’s handy to have a group therapy session like this, so welcome to the Asylum! And don’t feel too bad, after all we’re all a bit crazy, both them and us, it’s just a matter of perceptions and your reality against mine. The important thing is to function in such a way that whatever happens to you is taken in as a useful experience you can learn from!
I agree wholeheartedly with your last sentence.