Stickman Readers' Submissions February 18th, 2006

You Don’t Have To Be Rich To Be My Girl (But it Can’t Hurt Either…)

This submission is regarding internet dating, the people who use it, and the psychology to using it effectively to get maximum results. By the end of this page, you might be ready for an enthralling adventure that can surpass your wildest fantasies.

I live in the quiet seaside town of Hua Hin, Thailand. Hua Hin is a few hours drive from Bangkok. There’s a small bar scene but most people are here with a steady girl already and usually just come here to die if you measure the average demographic.

He Clinic Bangkok

Therefore, I started internet dating in an effort to scope out new blood. What I was to discover taught me so much about Thai/Asian culture and then some.

I should tell you that I’m an internet dating veteran. I’ve used it in each of my various hometowns worldwide and I can assure of you of 2 things: you might meet your future girlfriend or wife there (maybe). But you will most certainly be smothered in plenty of pussy juice from many willing young ladies without making too much effort. Online girls are not girls for hire so you just need to know how to play the game a little. It’s really not that difficult. Non bar working Thai girls always wish to distinguish and convey that they’re the “good” girls of Thailand, unlike the prostitutes.

One thing is guaranteed: the greater the distance between your town and her town only works to your advantage because if she’s willing to travel to meet you, she’s staying over (for the night and possibly longer) and has full intentions of bonding even if it’s just for the weekend or less!

CBD bangkok

It’s not even a question. It’s never an issue. If they have driven their car or have purchased any type of ticket to meet you, you’re getting laid. Don’t even ask yourself if there’s a good chance or be antsy about it, it will happen so just relax and don’t say anything to spook her and you’ll be ok… Let me spell it out: YOU WILL BE GETTING INTIMATE WITH HER BEFORE THE SUN RISES.

I’m sure if I lived in Bangkok, I would not be as successful. I don’t look like Shrek but I’m not Brad Pitt either so if I met these girls on their own turf, they would most likely finish their drink and/or dinner and slip off into the night leaving me with the bill as a souvenir and little else.

I’ve met about 100 girls on the internet and almost without fail, they are not as attractive as the girls you often fantasize about in my opinion. The average bar girl is much more attractive but some people like bad skin and fat asses so I won’t judge anyone else’s tastes.

The first thing you must understand is the mentality and psychology of these girls. I think many of the internet girls are lacking something somewhere which leads them to the internet in the first place. Why in the world would an attractive woman sit down hurting her ass and eyes typing on the internet to strangers? The answer: They don’t. I like the expression: “Their elevator (lift) doesn’t go to the top floor.”

wonderland clinic

With each girl I’ve met, there was always “something” that just didn’t seem right with her. It was just a matter of time until I uncovered what it was. Some are fatter than their photos make them to be, (but I think everyone chooses the most flattering photos. I’m guilty of that) and some have bad acne and others are just the moody introvertish types. Then there’s the yuppy types who are always supposedly busy with their social lives and always have their phone(s) and agenda nearby. Very Western and such a turn-off. All to say, I’ve met very few that I would consider girlfriend caliber.

In the case of Thai girls, the first question I asked myself before my 1st date was: “Why is this girl coming all the way to Hua Hin to meet me? Surely there’s plenty of good men in Bangkok. Plenty of good farangs and Thai men who speak her language, know her culture, are more similar in her thinking than me. Why drive all this way to meet me? The answer has to be the money.

With my white skin, pointy nose, and living all year round in Hua Hin, these girls see me as a cash cow waiting to be milked. There’s just no other explanation because it’s a long drive to Hua Hin and back just to meet some old stranger. With all that distance between us, I’m certainly not a good relationship candidate. So that mystery has now been solved.

If you are interested in internet dating, you have to be somewhat patient because the average girl really loves to chat on MSN messenger. It’s a blissful treat for them to find a man who shares their enthusiasm for typing words to a stranger on a screen. If I didn’t put my foot down, we would be chatting for months.

I usually chat briefly just to break the ice and then push for a meeting. Weekends are obviously easier to close the deal but there are quite a few girls with flexible schedules and then there’s the unemployed of course who can come anytime. They are my favorites because they’ve got nowhere to be, nowhere to go, and it’s just pure fun until they start talking about money (read: your money). Groan.

The sooner a girl is willing to meet me, the more I like her, and that will pay off for her later. The more she makes me work for it online, the more I will make her pay when the meeting finally happens in Hua Hin. I refuse to meet anyone in Bangkok for the reasons I mentioned before (lowers my success rate).

I always assure them I’ll meet them at the bus or train station. The routine is very mechanical for me: I meet them at the station with a cold bottle of water and welcome them to Hua Hin. I am often delighted when they see me for the 1st time and can’t decide if I’m hot or not. It doesn’t concern me because we both know what lies ahead (pardon the pun). Even if she thinks I look like Shrek, what are her choices? Get back on the bus or check into a hotel alone or go with me.

Then we drive to my condo and I usually don’t make too much small talk as I assume they’re overwhelmed by the length of their journey to meet me and are probably tired and/or shy. However, once back at my condo, nature takes its course and they usually need to take a dump and/or lie down to rest. Some will tell me straight out that they’re very hungry and want to eat right now. I expect that so I usually arrive at the station hungry.

After we eat, we might go out in Hua Hin but there’s so little to see and do, that we usually just end up back at the condo where they often shower and then the inevitable happens 95%+ of the time. A little more persuasion is required if they have their periods. They will never tell you before hand if it’s that time of the month because sex is not supposed to be on the menu (wink wink nudge nudge).

But it’s my unfortunate duty to report that most of these “good” Thai girls have very little sexual experience. I should also add very little shaving experience either. Most bargirls have at least that knowledge passed on from their bar sorority sisters but the average Thai girl has usually not been exposed to pornography (despite their obvious fondness for the web) or open discussion on technique so don’t expect the ride of your life although I do sometimes get a surprise where the girl is wanting to swallow cum or give a rim job without being asked which is more common I would think. Expect a full grown bush and if you get less, you can do a little football touchdown celebration dance in your head.

Never let them know you’re chatting with many other girls and you’ll be ok. I often schedule 1 girl for each day of the week if possible and when it amazingly all comes together, it’s an exhausting week where the legs and penis aren’t holding up too well afterwards.

Regarding the attitude of the girls. As I said, they all want to be seen as good traditional Thai girls. However there’s quite a few who like to show off too. They come in nice leased cars, carry a pocket planner that they seem to need, and will very often buy me dinner. Seafood dinners cost about 1000 baht. Sushi is always 2000 baht. Given the average girl is making about 15-25,000 baht a month, that’s quite an expensive dinner. In the end, they go home to the house where they live with their parents and/or other family members.

All to say, internet dating can be enjoyable if you’re patient, learn how to play the game properly, and have a threshold for putting up with some immaturity, you will reap the rewards. You never know who you’re going to meet but I promise the results will always be in your favor if you keep things on your turf.

I can only prepare you for a few common occurrence and that is that the girls will almost automatically accuse you of having already in your possession or having the potential to meet many other girls. I’ve had to literally sit there defending my single status on a few occasions which is as idiotic as it sounds. I should just copy and paste my replies because it happens so often.

Another common reply to my invitation to visit me is the girls shooting back the invitation to come see them in Bangkok but their invitation never includes lodging or anything else for that matter. So I should pay to get my ass over there and pay for my hotel, all my meals, etc. and then cross my fingers that I get laid after listening to them drone on all night? I don’t think so! Either way, be ready for it.

Then there’s the “adult” girls who claim they can’t travel to another province (rolls eyes). So if we don’t meet in Bangkok on their doorstep, we can’t meet? Ridiculous children!

Now I tell the girls I’m asthmatic and the Bangkok air gives me an asthma attack. Seems to work but I’m pretty sure they’ll have a new excuse soon. Always stay one step ahead and expect the conflicts. Chok Dee and may you have great offline sex!


I think it would be fair to say that internet dating in Thailand is no different to how it is elsewhere in the world – it is a way to meet new sexual partners, largely without commitment.

One has to be careful in Thailand though. Messing around with girls who do not work in the bar scene can cause problems, sooner, or later…

nana plaza