Readers' Submissions


  • Written by Conundrum4U
  • November 29th, 2005
  • 5 min read

By Conundrum 4 U

Boo had one of the biggest warming Thai smiles that you could have ever laid your eyes on. He had good reason for it he was happy.

billboard bangkok

He owned the Rambling Orchid restaurant in Hua Hin with wife and their 4 year old son. It was a small restaurant with only 10 tables and seating for 40 people but it was near to the seafront and nearly always full each evening with happy
customers. The food served at the Rambling Orchid was always simple, always fresh, always cheap and always good. It was the type of restaurant you like to go to more than once.

Each morning or to be more correct each mid day, Boo would get up and get ready and wander down to the sea edge and start up the small engine in his old small boat and go out and pull in his nets and baskets. The fish were always plentiful
and the baskets produced many gifts from the ocean. He would then lay out the new nets and baskets. Boo always took his catch directly back to the Rambling Orchid restaurant kitchen for preparation for the meals that would be served that evening.

The afternoons were always the same for Boo and his family and the most enjoyable part of the day. After a simple lunch together Boo would stroll down to the seafront beach hand in hand with his young son, and either play football with him
or teach him how to fish and catch crabs. Both of them enjoyed this valuable time together which was strongly forging their relationship as father and son. During this time Boo’s wife would go to the local market on her scooter and talk
with the local trader to ensure that she pick the finest vegetables and spices on offer for the evening’s meals.

butterflies bangkok

More often than not while his son took his late afternoon rest and his wife prepared the food for that evening, Boo would go for some afternoon horizontal exercise with one of his other Thai wives.

Each evening at around 6.00 pm Boo would open up the restaurant and turn on the fluorescent fairy lights scattered liberally around. Boo’s wife and one of her friend’s would cook the evening's dishes ordered by the variety
of customers while 2 young attractive student girls would come to serve and tidy up.

Boo only partly worked in the restaurant and when he was not sitting down in the corner sipping the odd whiskey, he would be taking customer orders together with the girls and making small talk with the people eating.

One particular day a very large American man wearing a Texas cowboy hat comes into the restaurant and sits down at one of the tables. As the menu is all in Thai he asks one of the girls in a very loud voice what she recommends. She in good
English gained from her studies tells him that the fresh barbeque prawns with fresh crab curry are very good today and should be taken with a bottle of Singha beer.


The American then asks her “who’s in charge of this place” and Boo wanders over to the table and smiles at him. Very loudly, the American then proceeds to tell Boo “hey Bud great little place you got here how long
you had it…

Boo smiles again at him ……

As the American gets his food served by the girl that took his order he greedily starts to devour into it. He once again in a very loud voice with mouthful of food compliments Boo.

“Hey bud, this food is magnificent.”…

“It's great, best I had in long time.”…..

“This is a great little place you got.” ….

“Such good service, bud.”…….

“I like the quaint little lights you got in this place.”……

Boo smiles at him….

The next evening just as Boo is opening up and turning on the lights, in comes the American again still wearing the same hat and sits at the same table.

“Hi Bud, good to see ya all again, give me the same again as last night”.

Boo smiles at him….

As Boo writes down the order and delivers it his wife in the kitchen and walks back with a bottle of Singha beer and glass.

The American loudly says….“Hey bud, come over and have a drink with me”.

Boo smiles at him…….

“Name's John Dwain Jr. I’m vice president of American Textile Woven Apparel Trading……. You heard of us? We're big in Dallas. Hey Bud, I’m over here for work and a little relaxation. Thailand’s a great

“This is a great place you got Bud”…..

“You want my advice bud. You're a natural, you got great smile folks will love ya”

“This is a great little thing you got going here”

Boo smiles at him…

“But with my advice Bud you can make it to the top…….

I’d mortgage this palace up to the hilt together with your car and start up a few more places just like this…… “Make it old style like you have done to this place, customers love old stuff like these old tables you got…..

“Get some good staff in like the girls I seen yesterday, and work yourself real hard. Put all the hours in you can Bud, real hard I'm telling you for the next 5 to 6 years”…

“Hey make a business plan that’s how I started off”…

“Then set on a good manager to help run things for ya …

“May cost you a bit but will be worth it in the long run believe me” ….

“Dime for a dollar investment”……

“Then you could afford then to wind down a little and reap the rewards of your hard work

“Have a few days where you can take an extra lay in the morning. Go to the beach with your family and spend some quality time with them.

That’s what I’d do Bud if I were you.

Boo smiles at him …..

And says in perfect….. English “Fxxk off you silly Twat.”

Stickman's thoughts:

I'm sorry, but I didn't laugh.