Readers' Submissions

My ‘Net Friend

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 22nd, 2005
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Well, I never thought I would have to write this email, but here it is…

I happen to have stumbled across your website a couple of weeks ago and I have already absorbed quite a bit of information from your weekly posts. Things I have read and learned have come to make some sense and as you have so eloquently put it in one of your most recent updates, warning bells are going off left, right and center…

About March this year I met this beautiful Thai girl online on an American dating service (surprise). I had just broken up with my girl friend at the time and a friend mentioned this web site. I have never dated online nor do I have trouble meeting people outside, but I thought I give this a try…

She seems very well spoken and seems educated, and at the time we met, her online profile stated that she was from San Dimas, California. As we got to know one another more I learned that she was actually living in Bangkok and that she won some scholarship to the US years back. She calls her sponsor to US “her family” and that they are from San Dimas. I filed that one in the back of my mind and moved on to knowing this girl.

Things have been going great, we called each other and spoke on the phone about once every other week, whether I called or she called, very respectful and very platonic and soon I have come to like her more and more: all that until one day she mentioned marriage and what I plan with her. I was caught by surprise at first, I did not know how I got myself into that type of conversation, but soon gotten used to the thought (FYI I was married previously and divorced for little over 3 years) and little by little we started making plans on how to proceed. Mind you, we have never met in person, just internet, phone and web cam…

All that was well until she started asking me to send her money. I did not know what to think at first, so I tried to omit speaking about money with her, but she became more and more pressing about the issue. All that until she completely went 180 on me and cried and cried… telling me how I do not want to take care of her and how can I support her and our “family” in the future if I refuse to do so even now, when she is in need…

She did not speak to me for about a week. No emails, no phone and no internet. I was beginning to wonder if I have offended her in some way… But I was pleasantly surprised when she appeared online again and started speaking to me… few days later I wired her some money <you IDIOTStick>. Then things became normal again. She is asking my opinion about how to do this, how to proceed with that… in preparation for bringing her to VISIT the US.

Then a few weeks since, another blow under the belt. She asked for more money, more then double what I last sent her, under the pretext that she needs to prove to the US consulate in Bangkok that she has money in the bank. I asked her again, where were all her earnings, how come she says she works yet she has no money. She tells me she is a teacher and that she makes her own schedule and she makes pretty good money, about 100,000 baht a month… She manages to always get out of that tight spot, telling me how inappropriate it is for a man to ask a Thai lady about such things, but when she asks me for money, she says that a “good husband” takes care of his wife…

I tried to pretend I do not hear her request until yesterday, when she did another 180 on me, telling me that I do not take care of her and do not want to help her… you get the idea. So much so that she calls me Mr. as opposed to “love” which is how we call each other when things are groovy… Since then I have not heard from her although she told me she would be online soon so that we can further discuss her money in the bank situation.

I consider myself as a pretty educated individual and I happen to have some experience with Asian women as I was married to one before in the US. And as you have guessed, I do not appreciate being taken for a fool… I have yet to encounter this type of situation and I have an issue sending her money like this, not knowing where this relationship will go and not having any concrete evidence of who she really is. She tells me how her other friends receive 200,000 baht each month from their fiancée in US (that is a great salary in the US by the way) and how embarrassed she is to even mention that she knows me since I do not send her any. She also tells me that she comes from a fairly well off family and that money is not an issue to her, yet she makes those requests. She also tells me she is not a “bar-girl” (which if she were, that would explain to me her odd working hours and lack of any finances) and she vehemently expresses how repulsed she is by those who marry such girls. Is it appropriate for Thai women to make such requests and also, how can I know more about this person. What is your advice given the situation? Also, your site offers some sort of help in finding out the truth about your Thai girlfriend…


Stickman's thoughts:

It is totally ridiculous of this woman to ask you for money. There is absolutely no reason for you to send money to her and she is much the same as the Nigerian scammers. I am appalled and what she has done is, quite simply, scam you.

I can confirm for you that teachers aged under 30 would be lucky if they made 12,000 Thai baht a month – yes, that is only about $US300. This is enough for them to live on, not enough for luxuries, but enough to get by – remember most still live at home which cuts down on costs.

Principals of typical Thai schools earn around 40,000 baht a month tops. Even senior teachers with 30+ years experience earn less than 30,000 baht a month. I doubt there are many Thai teachers earning the sort of money she talks about .

You have been scammed. My advice would be to cut all ties with this dishonest, deceitful woman. This woman claims to be repulsed by bargirls but frankly, she is more repulsive than any bargirl.