Readers' Submissions

A Year In Thailand, A Year Of Firsts

  • Written by VJL
  • November 22nd, 2005
  • 4 min read


Last weekend was the under-celebrated anniversary of my first year in Thailand. I was thinking about how many things that I did for the first time while here. I am in my late 30's and have experienced quite a bit of "life". Variety both of good and bad times. Moving to another country can give you another level of good and bad. It was that kind of change that I craved when I sold everything and moved to Thailand a year ago. Anyway, here is my year of "1st's"… meaning – first times that I experienced these things…

1st time I saw thin persons outnumber chubby, heavy, obese people.

1st time I saw pretty or acceptable girls outnumber ugly or undesirable girls.

1st time I saw fat, ugly, old white men folk outnumber the young, virile, stud puppies that seem to hang out in Tampa and the beaches.

1st time I ate bugs. (rice bugs, crickets, ants)

1st time I paid less than $50 USD for sex (2000 baht).

1st time I paid for sex 3 times in same night.

1st time I paid for sex 6 times in 24 hours.

1st time I ate such spicy food (yum oonsen) that I sweat profusely, felt violently ill, and recovered within an hour.

1st time I had diarrhea more than 10 days.

1st time I saw a fight where a guy was cut in the stomach with a broken bottle and then his head was kicked and bottles were bounced off his face after he was unconscious.

1st time I threw water at people and had water thrown at me for 24 hours over a 3-day period. (Songkran)

1st time I had 2 girls at same time.

1st time I saw ladyboys that WERE prettier than girls.

1st time I spent less than 50 cents USD for breakfast; less than $1.00 USD for dinner.

1st time I slept on the hard floor; a hard bed; a wooden couch.

1st time I had my crotch grabbed by anyone other than a woman.

1st time I saw in person, milk squirt from a nipple. And, it wasn't a woman's nipple.

1st time I had sex with a Burmese girl; a Laos girl; a Malaysian girl.

1st time I saw people dead on the street. I've seen 4 people laying dead on the street after motorsai accidents. Many more very badly injured.

1st time I worried whether a friend was killed in a natural disaster – Patong Tsunami.

1st time my best friend was over 50 yrs old.

1st time I didn't care whether my shirt 'matched' my tie.

1st time I've had the hair on my arms 'admired' by children and men/women alike.

1st time I haven't had pretzels for more than 6 months.

1st time I've taken a bus ride longer than 2 hours.

1st time I've met people from Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Burma, Ireland, Scotland.

1st time I had home-brewed whiskey.

1st time I saw a cobra.

1st time I slept on a train.

1st time I saw people cut in line and nobody said anything.

1st time I got an STD.

1st time I had sex with a pregnant girl.

1st time I got annihilated on alcohol at a bar for less than $12 USD.

1st time I saw a gay guy give a BJ to a ladyboy (was a photo shoot)

1st time I saw girls under 16 selling sex.

1st time I saw a 75+ year old man with a 15 year old dinner-date.

1st time I had an oil massage.

1st time I saw a fishbowl – where the girls are behind a clear glass pane and the guys come and pick one out like meat at the market.

1st time I met so many virgin girls over 20 yrs old (in Isaan).

1st time I was too large for the local condoms.

1st time I heard Too-Gehs (large night geckos that make a crazy sound)

1st time I saw black and white (zebra) mosquitoes.

1st time I saw a girl faint (I was teaching English to 2 young girls, private students, when one cut her finger a bit with a knife she was shaving a pencil with. She went to restroom and fainted, landing hard on the floor. Dad flipped out.

1st time I've slept until 5 pm.

1st time I've seen someone passed out lying face down in the sand as I walked along the beach in the morning.

1st time I've had a stranger ask me to pay for their food at the fruit stand.

1st time I've paid for dinner for 3 at a nice restaurant and the total was under $8.00 USD.

1st time I've had girls ask ME to go home with me.

1st time I've banged a girl while she was on the phone.

1st time I've been 12 hours in time zones away from my parents.

1st time I've sent SMS messages from a phone.

1st time I've eaten rice everyday for months at a time.

1st time I've had friends from England, Australia, France and Singapore.

1st time I've seen children that are NOT afraid of rats.

Hmm, anyone want to continue this ??? I'm sure there are much more exciting firsts that you guys have experienced… I'd love to read them!

Stickman's thoughts:

Interesting, but that is enough firsts for one day I think!