Readers' Submissions

Thai And Taiwanese Hell, The Emails

  • Written by Mad Max
  • October 7th, 2005
  • 8 min read


In my last submission, it was suggested that I write a submission about my e-mails to the Taiwanese girl Mai (again, not her real name). Before I go into the e-mails, I have to say that there are four things that I have learned not to do when under the influence of alcohol. They are as follows.

1. Don't get behind the steering wheel of a car.
2. Don't play with loaded guns.
3. Don't try to write a submission to Stick's website. And last but not least,
4. Don't send e-mails to girls that you are pissed off at!

With that being said, below are the e-mails that I sent to Mai. Actually, I don't currently have a copy of the e-mails, however I pretty much remember them word for word which surprises me since I was "under the influence" when I wrote them. Also, I'm pretty sure that I am going to be called "Ben Dover the bloody third“, but I'm man enough to take it (no offence Ben, I enjoy your submissions).

Also, one should read my previous submission “Thai and Taiwanese hell" and you will understand that something went terribly wrong between Mai and I long before I sent the following e-mails.

About three or four days after our cluster f##k of a date, I signed on to MSN and I noticed that Mai was online. I instant messaged her. We chatted for a few minutes and I asked if I could call her on the phone (but this is about 2:00 am in the morning). She said no. I asked her why and she said that she could not tell me. I finally convinced her to let me call her and this also led to a very heated argument (for a very sweet and innocent Taiwanese girl, she sure has a very nasty temper). Even after this heated and very nasty argument, she tells me that she will still go out with me again if she has time (I'm no fool, I know that this will never happen).

A few days later, I sign on to MSN and again, Mai is online. I send her an instant message with no reply from her. Here is where the first alcohol influenced e-mail comes in. Here it is.

"Hi Mai, we Americans don't understand your culture. Here, you will be pointed at by someone's foot, someone will pat you on your head and someone will touch you on your shoulder. We do this here, these things mean nothing to us. If you don't like it, just take your ass back to Taiwan and go back there with your pointing foot, patting on the head and shoulder bull s**t! You don't like it here anyway, so just take your ass back to Taiwan, I'll even pay for your airplane ticket!"

Later on that night, she sent me an instant message saying "F**k you, mother f***er". For someone who wasn't very fluent in English, she sure knew those words very well!

I did call her a few days later to apologize to no avail. She just said “You bad man, I not like you, I not forgive you, maybe when I go to Taiwan, I forgive you" (does that sound like Thai or what? But this is a Taiwanese girl). I also tried to get her to understand that I took what she did as an act of great disrespect towards me, but she just didn't see it that way (or she wouldn't admit wrong doing on her behalf, probably saving face).

A few days later, my Hispanic friend (who is also her teacher) told me that one of Mai's American friends (the boyfriend of one of the Thai girls who confronted me at my store) told him that Mai was like a "loaded unregistered pistol. (I know how to pronounce the Spanish word for that, but I can't write it.) At this point, I will call my Hispanic friend “Poncho" (not his real name).

At this point, I'm pretty much caught up in a cluster f**k of cross cultural experiences between Thai, Taiwanese and Hispanic cultures (but so is life in America these days). Actually, he told me that Mai pretty much gets shagged on a regular basis at the dance club, which led to my next alcohol influenced e-mail. (Poncho got that from a very good source, the Thai girl's boyfriend).

"Hi Mai, I hear that you get XXXXX every Thursday night!" and more…

The police asked me if I wanted to ban the Asian girls from the store. Also, he told me not to contact Mai in any manner. I told him that the Asian girls could shop at the store as long as they caused me no trouble. Since then, Mai has been to the store several times. One time I could have actually touched her from where I was standing. Why is she there if she wants to avoid me? Each time, I just pretended that she was not there and I just ignored her as if she didn't exist. Another time she stood a few steps from me and just looked me in the eye with this kind of sad puppy dog stare, pouting sad eyes and a sad face. Again, I just looked away.

When I talked with Mai, her English was very broken, often mixed with Mandarin Chinese. Half the time I couldn't understand a word that she poke, which leads to the following Hispanic, Chinese experience. I am standing at the front of the store and I notice that two Asian girls walk in, and one of them is Mai. Mai makes no effort to avoid me again, but I just ignore her as usual and then Poncho walks in. Mai noticed Poncho and she says "Hey Poncho".

Poncho then says “Hey, what's up?" Then Mai starts speaking in almost perfect English. No I not this, no I not that, no I not like. Nothing like that same broken English that we have all heard. Just almost perfect English with almost no noticeable Asian accent. At this point, it has been about three months since our confusing date and I would be very surprised if she had improved her English that much in such a short period of time. WTF?

Then my amigo Poncho comes to me again with more interesting info about Mai (Poncho seems to have a wealth of info about Mai, or is he the source of the problem?) A Chinese friend of Mai's told Poncho that she often studies for Mai and goes to Mai's classes for her since she parties all night and sleeps all day. Also she says that Mai has problems with her emotions, one minute Mai is laughing and the next minute she is crying. To me, this sounds like a classic case of manic depression. If so, Mai really needs to seek some professional help.

After all of this, I do a Google search on Taiwanese girls. Actually, I found a wealth of information on the web about Taiwanese girls. One site said that often Taiwanese girls will hook up with an English speaking guy and use him to improve her English. Another site said that you may marry who you thought was the sweetest girl you ever met only to wake up the next morning next to "The Wicked Witch of the West". Another site said that in Taiwanese culture, the fathers are very distant from their daughters which leads the girls to go with an older man in order to seek older male approval. If this is the case, this is just a recipe for disaster as far as I'm concerned, not a very good basis for a long term relationship or marriage. I just don't think that a man can be a boyfriend or husband and a father to the same girl, I don't see how that could work. (I have read the same things about Thai girls and Thai culture.)

I have also experienced the same thing with American women who were neglected by their fathers as children and the relationships between myself and these women always ended up in a train wreck in the end. I have dated 35 year old women who were no more mature than a 14 year old girl because their fathers neglected them or they came from a broken family. It's not the girls fault in my opinion. However, I'm just not ready to be a boyfriend / husband and father for the same girl or woman.

With all of that being said, I finally got a cellphone number from a Chinese girl who I have been chatting it up with for about a month. I met her at the Chinese restaurant where she works. She seems to be a very sweet girl and she has a smile that kills! Hell, we all fall for those killer smiles don't we! I guess I'll never learn! I'm sure that this will lead to some sort of drama as well , and then again, maybe she will be "the one". We will never know unless we try. Even if it ends in a train wreck, it will be another learning experience.

Actually Stick, I would appreciate and welcome your opinion on what you think went wrong with my experience with Mai. I can see several things, however you may read something into this that I couldn't see. Also, I welcome e-mails from anyone with an opinion on this experience. Anyway, I'm glad that it's over.

Stickman's thoughts:

Age difference, cultural difference and the two of you wee both looking for something very different…