Readers' Submissions

Suckers For Punishment



This is in response to half full pessimist: You are a total mug!

After 17 odd years of visiting Thailand, it makes me cringe to see so many farang getting taken for a bloody ride, especially when they've read on here time and time again what the tricks are and how to handle it (or even avoid it).

When I see someone who's ready to "knock someone's lights out" simply because the girl is leading him on as well, it makes you realize how totally foolish some people are. Don't you realize that he's probably even more stupid because she's telling him she's waiting for him, the money he's paying her means she doesn't have to work in the bar, etc. etc. and bloody etcetera?

I would hazard a guess that 90% of the girls in the bar trade that have been at it a year or more have got regular visitors on the go. I'm not sure if I mentioned it here previously or not, but I once logged out of an Internet Cafe PC and it (shame on you Microsoft) dropped me straight into a Thai bird's Hotmail inbox. Sorry, but how could I resist? She had four different "sponsors" on the go at the same time (presumably as well as earning more money shagging on the side). She was sending them different stories, e.g.:

1: "Sorry I cannot see you in April, I have to go and look after my mother she have operation. Can you come May instead".
2: "Sorry I cannot see you in April or May, I have to look after my sister baby, she very sick. Can you come June instead".
3: "Sorry I cannot see you in April or May or June, my brother he in trouble with police, I have to look after his family. Can you come July instead"
4: "I miss you too much love you long time. I meet you in Bangkok in April yes?"

All of which were followed by the heartfelt plea for more cash.

Because I spend more time getting pissed with bar girls and the owners than I do bar fining and getting laid, sooner or later, and it's normally later after several litres of spy cooler, tequila and a few joints, the truth comes out and the Thais will tell you how gullible they think some farang are.

I've seen loads of occasions where a bloke is sat there doing all the "work" (why bother? you only have to pay!) to feel that he's forming a relationship with a bloody hooker, then get all put out when one of her regulars turns up and she's off like a bloody greyhound.

I get the feeling that there are some sad fucking idiots out there that mistake the stock "love you long time" "you handsome man" bollocks for the actual truth, and try and form a romantic bond with some clinical sexual technician because they are so desperate to believe it's true. Would you possibly sit down with a girl from your own country and expect to fuck her on the first night, and immediately fall in love with her, and her you? Of course you wouldn't. So what on earth makes you think a hooker from Thailand is going to do any different? Do you really think you're Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and she is your Julia Roberts? Get fucking real!

Do you feel so unloved inside, so desperate to feel that you are loved, that you'll believe this rubbish from someone who logic must surely tell you has no interest in anything about your person but bits of paper with numbers?

You surely must know, HFpessimist, that if she's willing to do the dirty on her "sponsor" with you, you can be damned sure she's probably doing the dirty on you AND him with any other bloke who waves a few thousand baht under her nose in return for a bit of how's your father and some convincing moans.

God forbid any bloke ever comes up to me wanting to knock my lights out because his bird has decided the free drinks I've bought her (and her boss) have not only got her the night off, but the excuse for a good old fashioned romp in bed with no strings attached. It's not me that's deceiving him, it's her. If she's got no ring on her finger and tells me she's single, I don't need any excuses and I won't be offering any.

So pull yourself together man. Hanging around in Khon Khaen for a bird who couldn't give a shit about you, but knows that telling you she does is eventually going to lead to a few quid more? How dumb can you be?

Dump her, clean the slate, if you don't want to share her with anyone, DON'T! There's plenty of respectable women in Thailand that would be happy to have a trustworthy and monogamous relationship with someone who deserves trusting (and by your own admission, that doesn't include you!).

I'm not going to be monogamous in Thailand. I'm not even going to be a butterfly. Not even a helicopter. I'm a bloody airport. And I don't make any promises to Thai girls I can't keep. If they want a shag and they're tasty, I'm up for it. They know that the next morning they'll get a night's fair wages and breakfast – I don't mind paying, that's what it's all about for them, and I'm paying to get rid of them essentially – and I'll say hello next time I see them, even if I'm with another bird, and that, my friend, is about as far as you want to go with someone, even if they can suck a golf ball through a hosepipe and tell you they love you.

Call me shallow and unemotional, and when it comes to relationships with Thai women, you'd be absolutely right. But I am massively respectful to my close Thai lady friends, with whom I have a relationship I wouldn't even want to sour by having sex with them. They know I'm a dirty little shag bag, but they don't base our relationship on my attitudes to others, only to them.

I have equal respect for anyone who's honest with me. I know they're in business, they know they're in business, they know I know, and they also know it has absolutely sod all to me if I've invited them back for a good old romp, as long as they don't give me something pussy and scabby that they picked up from some low rent student who's shagged his way through Goa on mater and pater's money, then decided Thailand is the place for him (but the clap clinic isn't).

And oh Phet, you said "If you ask any man in the world what was the most memorable moment of his life, invariably he will declare witnessing the miracle of the birth of his first child. Ask a devotee of the Thailand scene and he would probably say the same. However give him a truth serum and his answer would probably be, his first full on Thai Girl Friend Experience." Naahh it was my first full on Thai threesome with a couple of really filthy, fun and gorgeous girls. 😉

Stickman's thoughts:

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