Stickman Readers' Submissions August 18th, 2005

My First Bargirlfriend Part 9

As always…As they used to say on Dragnet, “The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Here is their story.”

For those of you who are just joining the story, here are the first 7 Parts to get you up to speed (Part 8 is not directly related to my story, but it is rather funny 'College Course Book for Bargirls'):

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My first BarGirlFriend Part 1

My first BarGirlFriend Part 2

My first BarGirlFriend Part 3

My first BarGirlFriend Part 4

My first BarGirlFriend Part 5

My first BarGirlFriend Part 6

My first BarGirlFriend Part 7

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Recently, I received an email from the bargirl Nan that I mentioned in Parts 1 and 2 of My First BarGirlFriend saga. I had sent a couple of emails to her over the last 6 months or so, and most of the time I never heard back from her. Nothing romantic,
more like, ‘Hi, how are you doing? I hope that you are well.’ type of thing.

All along, when I spent time with Nan, I was very understanding, accommodating, generous, and really took care of her. I was always a gentleman, not in a naïve way mind you, but rather I just showed her respect as a person. She always expressed gratitude
for everything that I did for her like taking her out to eat, taking her shopping to buy clothes and things like that. Basically, I treated her with care, respect, and courtesy.

Recently, things changed a little bit…not by me, but rather by her. It seems as though Nan has started to act a bit like a psycho bargirl, which can happen at times if the average Joe Punter is not careful. I had noticed this behavior a little bit when
we were together, that sometimes she seemed to raise her voice, just a little bit, when she did not like something that I said or did. It was not screaming or anything like that, but I could just tell that, sometimes, she did not like it when
things did not go her way and had a bit of a temper. I always attributed that to her just trying to be cute and acting like a baby to get her way, but there was always something there that I just could not put my finger on.

In the text below are the last few email exchanges between Nan and myself. As you read each reply of hers, you will notice the progression towards anger and then rage with each email that she sent the emails have been slightly edited and truncated for
brevity and clarity, without changing the original ‘spirit of the message’.

After I had sent her several emails to say ‘hi’, I accidentally came across some pictures of her on the internet…on a not so ‘prim and proper’ website. I sent her an email (with the website link) and I said that I hoped that
she was doing well and that I hope that she was also making more money than she was when she was working as a bargirl. Now, I did not do this to demean her, but rather to make her lose some face, because now I had some concrete proof that she
was in fact, a prostitute, as she had always claimed that she was not. I never would have cared, because I have been with plenty of professional ladies in Asia, but it was just that she had always denied being a naughty girl. Basically, she was
busted and she knew it. I never expected a reply because she had lost some face. I really have NO tolerance for that Thai lying bullshit from bargirls, although I pretend that I do.

So, she finally replied (probably only because I saw and sent her the naughty pictures of her that I found online) and here is the thread of her emails and my responses.

This is Nan’s email response below:

hi hope you are still remember me.just wanna say som thing and just want to let you know that you can not judge people without asking. You can not use your imagination to get all the answers you want. Before i am kind of a lonely girl.and looking for someone special.i just need love. Sorry that i am not a bar girl anymore.i stoped about six months.i never thought this job suit me. And to work as a bar girl it does not mean that have to sleep with customer ..good luck from Nan.

And I responded with this:

Wow, I am surprised to hear from you. I never thought that you would reply to me. Of course, I will always remember you. We spent a lot of time together and had a lot of good times. Before, I had always hoped that we could be friends in the future. But you lied to me many times about many things. I told you many, many times that I would not care if you were a bargirl when we met, but you kept telling me that you did not go with customers, when I KNEW that you did go with customers.

I am not judging you Nan, I am only stating facts to you. That is all. I do NOT think that you are a bad person because you were a bargirl. I really do NOT think that about you. But the ONE thing that ALL of us farangs hate the most about the Thai culture is constant, pervasive, never-ending lying that is everywhere in your culture.

I also know that you had lied to me before about stopping to work in a bar. But, I know that you were still working there because a friend of mine in Bangkok told me that he saw you there.

Farangs view lying as a SERIOUS personality flaw that means that a person has NO integrity. Thais view lying as a way to save face and it does not matter to Thais if someone gets hurt in the process. That is a shame in my opinion.

But sorry, Nan, I do not believe that you did not sleep with customers. I know that you did. You also did NOT work in a bar to find someone to fall in love with, you worked in a bar as a bargirl to make money, because everyone is so poor in Thailand.

But I want you to remember one thing. I never judged you as a bad person. You were only trying to make money and that is OK. You have something that men want (your body and companionship) and they have something that you want (money). So it is a good situation for both people because they both get what they want.

Take care, and I hope that you are doing well,


Now as you Stick readers can see, I was very nice and kind and courteous in my email. <You rubbed her face in the shit and made her lose face big time, somethnig which Thais take very seriously. I don't think this comes anywhere near "nice and kind"Stick>

And then Nan responded with this:

so what! do not look down my is not should to open your mind or you mean you never lied before .That is bullshit.have you ever lie somebody to survive or some thing need to lie.if you said that never.Then you will not understand about this.And to go with customer it does not mean that have to sleep with.many of customer bar fine me for dance disco for dinner ..i hate a guy who alway complain and look down .everybody is all human .we born and finally we die the same. Each culture have different way to live their please do not say something bad not angel and you are not too .just keep in your mind that i must do what i need to.if i made you feel bad before i have to apologize.BUT YOU JUDGE ME AND INCLUD TO ANYGIRL AND MY CULTURE.COZ IT HAPPENED COZ OF ME NOT BECOZ OF MY CULTURE <A damned fair reply this, it has to be said – Stick>

Then I responded with this:

I do not look down on your culture, Nan, only specific parts of your culture. Like lying. You KNOW that all Thai people lie very, very often. And you also know that that is not right and that people should not do that.

Of course, everybody lies sometimes, but NOT as much as Thai people do. They lie many, many, many times more than farangs do.

(I am aware, Mr. Stick, that many farang expats in Thailand probably lie as much as some Thai people do, but I was making a comparison to farang culture in general, so no comments are necessary here!)

All, I asked you was to be honest with me and you could not be honest always. I know that. Like how you pretended to cry sometimes. That was ridiculous. I could tell that you were acting when you pretended to cry to me over the phone.

But, I guess the one thing that you are lucky about is that you have big tits and most Thai girls do not. Some guys will not care as much that you are dark skinned because you have big tits and that is a good thing for you. Plus, you also speak English better than most other bargirls.

So, once again, I do not look down on bargirls. Actually, I love having sex with bargirls as many of them are very, very good lovers and most of them really know how to take care of a man.

Also, my current girlfriend was a bargirl also, and I do not feel bad about that at all. I do not look down on girls because they are bargirls.

I only tried to help you and make you feel better about yourself. Remember that…I tried to stay in contact with you after I went back to America and you did not try to email me or chat. I did ALL of the work, so I knew that you were the one who was bullshitting and lying…not me.

So, I was basically telling her things that were all true and I was trying to be very nice to her by trying to explain Western thoughts about honesty while also telling her ‘like it is’. I also made it clear that I did not look down on her because she was a bargirl.

And here is what she replied back to me this time:

damn it! Whatever. I explain to you i wish you know who am i. And wish you understand Well,enjoy your life to find the angel.But let me tell you this About a woman that you find Nomatter who a hell is she ..nobody gonna really like you because you like to complain about everything.Also you like to look down. You said you was with me all the time.but sorry please think before say anything.use your brain that nomally you do not use. GO.think about it…well,almost forget NOBODY PERFECT AND YOU ARE JUST ONLY HUMAN.

You can see that she is really starting to get pissed and is now swearing at me in her emails. So, I started to act pissed and then I began to goad her and make her feel like shit because she was acting like such a bitch. <YOU have got issues…..Stick>

So here is what I wrote back to her:

Do not worry about me finding a girlfriend, Nan, because I already have one.And she is VERY, VERY beautiful. It is very easy for me to find girls because I am a rich farang, as you say. And I am also very nice, romantic, and also very generous.

Your lies are what started to get me mad. I never lied to you, but I asked you many, many times if you were a bargirl and you said no, no, no, no. I thought that maybe I would give you a chance because maybe you were special and different from most bargirls, but then I found out that you were the same as most bargirls. A liar!!!

When I realized that you lied to me, then it did not matter if I lied to you, because you already lost my trust.

I ADMIT that I lied to you before. I lied to you for revenge because you lied to me first!!! And you know what, Nan? I fucked many very, very beautiful Thai girls when I was not with you. Many girls had better bodies, bigger breasts, prettier faces, whiter skin color and also they gave me GREAT sex!!!!!!!!!

Well, my current girlfriend is much, much more beautiful than you are, but she is also very sweet and loving. And she is VERY honest with me. She tells me when she made mistakes and she tells me when she has done something wrong. That makes her a much better person than most Thai people who lie, lie, lie, lie, lie….

I know that you are quickly becoming a very hard and cold bargirl because you have been doing that for so long and I can tell by how angry you sound in your emails. You should go and try to find new farang to lie to…and then you will get money…and then you will be happy…with the stupid things that make bargirls show face…like your new cell phone. Farangs think that you bargirls are so stupid when you try to impress other people with your stupid cell phone, we think that is very funny!!!!

Please stop wasting your time and anger on a rich farang who has moved forward with his life. Go and find peace, the Thai Buddhist way instead of being so angry. Relax and enjoy your life as a bargirl and you will be less sad…

I always want to think good thoughts about the time that we had together, but if you keep acting so crazy, then I will not think of you like that anymore and I will not want to be your friend anymore.

Take care…

I was starting to be condescending towards her and now I did not care about her in the least bit, as you can probably see. But who cares? Because there are 100,000 more where she came from… ; )

And then here is her reply:

mother fucker! Who fuckin care about your new girlfriend .just a BITCH one. And you know what nomatter how beautiful she is ..someday she will show you how fuckin bitch she is.SORRY I told you that i quiz bar for many many month already and i have a boyfriend that not as OLD as you are! He is very handsome and love me so much And takecare of me with everything ..and do not too proud about your angel girlfriend.she is beautiful more than me in your opinion but remember this.she can be an ugly bitch on the street in somebody else opinion and i will become a singer for grammy tv .Ask your bitch that she can use her beautiful to become like me or not.This is my last email thank you to let me know that i am ugly and bad and she very very beautiful more than me but the beast like you can not have her that long good luck or go to hell is what you should aswhole. I do not wantto hear from you anymore

What did she call me? Mother fucker? Moi? Could it be that this nice, sweet bargirl was in actuality, a true psycho? YEP!!!

And OLD? Hell, I’m only in my early 40s and I see guys almost twice my age walking around with cute, little, smooth-skinned, 20 year beauties everyday in Bangers. In Bangkok, I can get that kind of action whenever I want to…maybe even after I
am dead!!! Who is she kidding?

Now, when I had met Nan on that particular trip, I had taken a bunch of nude photos of her. She was somewhat reticent, but acquiesced after some sweet talking on my part. I am not really into taking those kinds of pics with the bargirls that I meet, but
I really more so just wanted to ‘test the boundaries’ to see whether or not she (or any particular bargirl) would say yes. And she did. So, I snapped away and never really thought too much about them after that!

So, I thought that her response, filled with vile comments and anger, deserved a true ‘Western style salute’…so I decided not to hold back anymore and here is what I said back to her:

You are a crazy, fucking psycho, stupid, bitch, lying bargirl!!!!

Before, I treated you very nicely and with respect (which I totally did, by the way), but now I know that you no longer deserve respect. You are a total piece of shit, poor, lying bargirl and that is all that you will ever be. I really feel sorry for the stupid fuck that is your boyfriend.

By the way, the reason that I fucked many other girls when I was with you was because you were terrible in bed. You were the worst girl that I ever had sex with, so I had to find a real woman who knew how to take care of a man. You are useless in bed and you just lie there like a dead starfish. Farangs always joke about girls like you because you are awful when it comes to sex.

And never forget, no matter what happens, I will always be a very rich farang, who can pick from thousands of beautiful girls everyday and you will always be a stupid, poor, lying bargirl whose skin will always be BLACK!!!! (Note to Stick readers: it wasn’t really black but I just said that to make her feel more like shit…brutal I know, but it was deserved)

And you think that you are going to be a Grammy singer on TV??? You must be smoking too much yaba!!!! You are really fucking stupid!!! When do you see black girls on Thai TV??? Or did your boyfreind tell you that you were going to be famous so that he could fuck you again, for FREE?? I don't think that your boyfriend knows that you have no chance of being famous in Thailand with your BLACK skin because Thai people look down on dark people like you!!! Or maybe he does and just wanted to get some more free sex from you.

Enjoy your pathetic life as a bargirl…and if you think that your boyfriend is not cheating on you, then you really ARE stupid!!!

By the way, I have attached some pictures of you that I found recently. I have sent your pictures to many people (note to Stick readers: I really did not send them and never would, I just wanted to scare her). I hope that someone doesn't make a web site one day in the future so that everyone in the world can see your naked body…and my girlfriend has smooth and beautiful skin and she does NOT have scars like you have and she does NOT have UGLY stretch marks all over the body like you do (she really only had a couple, like most girls do) and she does NOT have dark skin like you do!!!!!!!!!

I am not angry now. I feel sorry for you…because you are pathetic!!!

I have not heard from her since.

So the moral to this chapter of my bargirl saga (which are words to the wise to all of the bargirl neophytes) is…

Caveat Emptor, which is Latin for Buyer Beware!!!

Or maybe better advice would be to, always, always, always document your vacations with a myriad of photos of the local ‘sights’, because you never know when they might come in handy…

Revenge is sweet…and so are bargirls…sometimes….

Stickman's thoughts:

I really do not know where to start…. I'd love to know what readers think.

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