Readers' Submissions

Money For Nothing And Your Chicks For Free

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 1st, 2005
  • 7 min read


I felt the time has come to write about how to stretch your funds by not paying for sex in LOS or anywhere else for that matter but still having plenty of it.

The average punter goes on and on about visits to Eden Club, soapies, gogos, BJ bars, and about the many smiles they get all over LOS in beer bars. Bear in mind, with few exceptions, it’s because you have cash in your pocket that any of that was made possible. I scoff at men who go on and on bragging how they did this and that with some Thai girl who was so happy to see them walk up to their bar. Take away the money, she probably would not be with you. I am secretly so pleased when some idiot sends money to a girl and gets his ass kicked emotionally. That’s just so stupid to send a girl money who gave you a sales pitch that you bought and made you think she really gives a rat’s ass. You got what you deserved.

I won’t discuss any descriptors of myself in this article because I don’t want anyone to be biased but I believe if anyone were inclined, they could also lie, cheat, and steal from bar girls. There’s exceptions to the rule but on a global level, I believe most will get you if you don’t get them first. Maybe I’m cynical but that’s my mantra for survival and so far, so good. You don’t get rich writing cheques.

So I’ve compiled my own personal stories of how I’ve succeeded in getting almost an entire 6 months of free sex by lying, cheating, and stealing in LOS. I’ve fxxxed over 100 women and some were told they were girlfriends to “keep them around and faithful” when their bars closed. On the average day, I could fxxx 3 different women a day all for free because I told them I was their boyfriend. Most would come back for more. You can’t control the cards you are dealt, only how you play them.

I know the following article may offend and disgust some readers. I’m leaving an email setup just for your feedback and questions. Please feel free to add any tips I haven’t touched on and they may eventually find their way into my next Stickman submission “Money for nothing and your chicks for free part 2”.

I never do short times with girls because you can get 2 or more free fxxxs by doing long times. Unless she’s horrible in bed or smelly or full of attitude, I will almost always keep them over night.

Fake Hotel Name: If you want to be a successful trickster, make sure you don’t leave a trace. Some guys keep 2 hotel rooms. One for sleep and one for sex. I purposely get a hotel far away from the action. Far from her home, far from her bar, and far from her sense of orientation. I will always tell them I’m staying at the Sheraton. They usually don’t know where it is exactly but they have heard of it. So they believe you when you first meet them and mention the Sheraton. When they realize you’re not paying them, they’ll come looking for you at…you guessed it, The Sheraton.

Freelancers: They are easy victims because you didn’t meet them in a bar where the pay for play system is structured (i.e. pay bar fine at night and then pay girl before she leaves your room). What I usually do is meet a freelancer who is still a newbie, not a hardened whore. When the bill is to be paid, they usually don’t really know how to go about asking for payment and often don’t if you don’t offer first (which I never do with anyone). They also usually don’t have any friends to back them up. Having to deal with a small cluster of bar girls pounding on my door is no picnic. Better yet, since you met them on the street and not in a beer bar where they are employed, you can plead ignorance when the subject of money comes up when they’re ready to leave. I’ve met some who just forgot the whole money thing and just stayed with me anyway. It was as if they originally spied me for cash but just abandoned the plan and decided to stay with me just for the hell of it. They sure weren’t getting 1 satang from me!

Beauty Shops/Where’s the ATM?: I enjoy ditching girls after I’m through banging them (similar to how they would lie and/or ditch you if your wallet suddenly emptied). I rarely consider the time and place when I want to do the ditch. My favorite to get them out of my hotel room is to offer to take them to the beauty shop. Their eyes are so wide with glee and they are just drooling with excitement. Once we get to the shop, she gets acquainted with the stylist but before things get started, I ask where is the nearest ATM machine? That is when I ride off into the sunset and never look back. That is the easiest ditch to do. Another is at the airport because you have access to places they don’t. I’ve gone right through the customs gate with my carry-on bag and never looked back which is a good rule for any visitor to LOS. Take your memories and your money out of the country.

The 3 AM “Girlfriend” Talk: Sometimes I’ll make an appointment with a girl to come to my room after her shift at 3 AM. Once they’ve come all the way to my room (often a good distance from their bar), that’s when I’ll launch into my pitch about how I really just want a Thai girlfriend so badly. I want to marry a Thai girl so badly. “This is why I came to Thailand.” I don’t want a prostitute. The girls have 2 choices: leave now (99% won’t because a hotel room is comfortable and it’s very late) or fxxx for free. They always pick the latter. Like any other bar girl, they’ll usually stay the next day until it’s time to go back to their bar. If they bought into my girlfriend story, they’ll stay with me that night again. Quite a few forego a night of work and bullshit their mamasan that they’re sick or have their periods in order to stay and be my girlfriend. The girlfriend approach is win – win especially at 3 AM.

“Girl gets phone call” free fxxx: Any man with prostitute experiences in LOS knows of the dreaded and seldom quiet mobile phone that girls love to love. It’s the lifeline for these girls and few will be without one. If I’m paying for a girl (however seldom), I’ll remove her phone battery when she’s showering so the phone mysteriously never rings during our session. The phone can be my worst enemy or my best friend. There were a few times that the girl got a phone call and was out the door with some lame excuse a few minutes later (i.e.: roommate locked out of room, must see sister, etc.) only to never return leaving me high, dry, and horny. I now hope for them to receive an emergency phone call because I can always persuade them into a free fxxx to hold me off until they come back, which they never do. They always say they’ll come back after they clear up the emergency. Since I already know that’s bullshit, I then proceed to play their game. I ask for a quick fxxx now and I’ll see them when they come back. Now they know they can’t back out and I get a nice quick fxxx for free. Of course I only promise it’ll be quick but I usually take my time just to be an asshole.

Found money: I reserve this tactic for girls with attitude, starfishes, and smelly girls who really should clean themselves better. Usually when the girl is showering, I’ll take a peek in her wallet. If I see a stack of 1000 baht bills, I’ll help myself to one to pay her with. I’m simply returning her what I took. I never keep it for myself as I have my own. This buys me a sleep over for sure and pleasure all the next day. Around late afternoon, I’ll tell her I’m staying alone and she goes back to her bar happy with the 1000 baht payment.

Stickman's thoughts:

You are living very dangerously….seriously, you could be killed if you keep up this sort of behaviour!