Readers' Submissions

Broken Man In Blighty And Do Bargirls Read Stick?

  • Written by Phet
  • August 3rd, 2005
  • 13 min read

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I returned from Bangkok at the end of June penniless, jobless and deep in debt but with my soul repaired and my spirit restored. I put my supply of Kamagra gel and condoms in storage, allow the “just for men” in my hair to fade to grey,
discontinue shaving my genitals and resign myself to another 6 months back in the UK.

Like many aficionados of the dysfunctional Disneyland although my body may be in England my heart and mind is eternally in Sukhumvit Road. I get the fix for my addiction eating Thai food, reading Stickman and a weekly exchange of emails with my Bangkok
pals.

Another outlet for what Christopher Moore refers to, as “the sickness” is emails with Thai girls. I currently have regular contact with 4 girls. Each one has different motivations

My ex-timeshare girlfriend N continues to send me 3 or 4 messages a week. She has had a rich farang patron for a year. I have known her since November 03 and although no intimacy occurred on my last two visits we have remained true friends. She knows
I do not have the wherewithal to support her but she still maintains contact with me. Her missives are entertaining and infuriating in equal measure. I have come to the conclusion that I am her hobby in the same way that western women take up
flower arranging or needlepoint when bored.

Kay is 25 and N’s niece. We met at N's house on my last visit and she shared my bed. It is difficult to imagine an ex-English girlfriend arranging for a niece to sleep with me. She works in an office in Bangkok. I know her parents are comfortable
and she does not have to send money back home. We have exchanged 12 notes but in the last few she has begun to allude to being short of money. She will be sadly disappointed but I believe she is beginning an attempt to groom me as a potential
patron.

Nid is also a friend of N and I was introduced to her last year. Nid is 30 and owns a small restaurant somewhere up in Isaan. She is a bright girl and claims to want to learn English although the regular contact coincided with her Thai husband leaving
her. However she is a good student and her English improves at an alarming rate. I have great hopes for her becoming as interesting as her friend N.

Na is half Japanese, a university graduate and dances in one of the better bars in NEP. I met her my last visit and had a couple of pleasurable encounters with her. She is a charming and intelligent girl so I was pleased to receive a series of weekly
emails from her.

A recent missive was very interesting and related to a remark from a friend who told her she had read a story on the Internet that mentioned her. From her note it was apparent that her pal had read my last submission to Stickman (the broken man repaired
part 4). Intrigued I pressed her for details about her friend and why she was reading Stickman. Because I was generally complimentary about her she was totally unconcerned about the article and in that infuriating way Thai girls have, has now
dismissed the subject. In subsequent notes to me no further information was forthcoming.

This could be a disturbing trend. The Stickman site is a significant conduit for the interchange of anecdotes and for many the major source of information. I am certain many liaisons with potentially disastrous consequences have been prevented by perusal
of the reader’s submissions section. If bar girls are reading the site, it is analogous to the discovery of the Enigma code in WW2 or the KGB having access to the CIA’s mainframe at Langley. I feel the implications of this discovery
are enormous and wonder if anyone else shares my concerns.

Or maybe I should get out more often?

Talking of going out, in Bangkok or Pattaya, when you go out for the evening there is a 99% chance you will find a girl to have sex or sleep with you. This is a very liberating sensation because in the UK when you go out for the evening, you know there
is a 99% chance you will return alone to the lonely canton of Wan-king.

However it is also important to remember it is the unique economics of the Bangkok (or Pattaya) sex industry that creates this situation. There is not some genetic disorder in Thai women that makes them predisposed to ugly elderly western men. We must
not fool ourselves. Ageing men are not attractive to women per se, irrespective of nationality. In Thailand we are perceived as rich, the girls we attract are predominantly girls from Isaan who are disenfranchised by their own society. Most Thais
look down on the girls who go with us. Move away from the farang entertainment centres and you will find that Thai women in general are not at all attracted to us. <I would actually disagree with thatStick>

I am amused by the thought that coming to Thailand twice a year and attempting to find a suitable wife in the fleshpots of NEP or Soi Cowboy is equivalent to going to Disneyworld and wanting to marry Snow White. However I should not mock too much. I can
imagine one day I will be sitting in the embassy trying to get a visa for a Thai bride.

Within days of my return to Blighty I started a new job in a new city in East Anglia (if it wasn’t for the laundry service at Nana Hotel I would have had nothing to wear). I quickly made a few friends who took me to Chicago’s, a disco bar
of ill repute. A new city but the same rejections from sour-faced fat-arsed slappers with miss-spelled tattoos. No stranger to rejection I am somewhat reconciled to it now. Overlooking the dance floor I saw two Thai girls. In their 20s. They were
not particularly good looking and I would have ignored them on Nana Tai, but being Thai I was drawn to them like a moth to a light bulb. I approached them with a smile saying, “If I can guess where you come from I will buy you both a drink”.
I am from Thailand replied the one as she turned away from me in an unmistakable gesture of dismissal. My “Sawadti khrap, cun sabadie ma car” (hello how are you?) was met with a look of disdain that would not have been out of place
on a London taxi driver I had asked for change from a fiver. Their dismissal of me was so unnecessarily rude it froze my heart. There are rejections and there are rejections.

It is worth noting they were not Isaan girls. Still curious I continued to observe them and noticed that all night, no other men approached them. It was obvious their charms presented no interest to the young men of this city.

It is also clear that Asian girls irrespective of origin, when they live in the UK very quickly adopt the attitudes of their western sisters. I have observed this phenomenon with Indian and Chinese girls; the current environment quickly overcomes genetics
or previous circumstances.

The rudest incident I experienced, involved a Hong Kong Chinese girl (in her late 20s) who was the wife of a business associate. We were at a social function related to business. A group were discussing the merits of the new art gallery in a nearby town
when the young lady stated she hadn’t been to see it. I told her I was taking my son the following week and suggested she could come with us. To which she remarked “I wouldn’t go with you if you were the last man on earth”
and laughed expecting the ensemble to be amused at her wit. The embarrassment beggared description not least to her Chinese husband who had clearly lost face. My explanation for this unusual behaviour was that although she had only been in the
UK some 9 months she had so often seen English woman talk to their husbands in a derogatory manner she thought it was socially acceptable to insult all English men irrespective of the situation.

You only have to listen to a group of middle-aged English women discuss their husbands. The total absence of any respect is palpable and guaranteed to send a cold shiver down your back.

This is a salutary warning to western guys considering bringing their teeruk back home to the west. The much-discussed issues of sin sod and supporting the family bullock (or its modern 4×4 equivalent) will pale into insignificance once
they are contaminated by English culture. If you think your teeruk can whinge and pout when trying to get you to part with money for something in the shopping malls in Bangkok or Pattaya just wait till they have had some exposure to the “values”
of western women.

30 years of emancipation has merely resulted in western women being permanently dissatisfied. This culture of dissatisfaction and superiority is perpetuated by the media and epitomized by that banal L’Oreal advert “Because you’re
worth it”.

Bridget Jones’s Diary and other books of the genre also have a lot to answer for. It perpetuates the message that woman can continue consuming vast quantities of chocolate and alcohol, develop an arse like two bags of shopping and still be able
to pull Hugh Grant or Colin Firth.

Which gives them a real problem of aspiration. As a result women have become too selective and fussy for their own good. I know many women in their 40s and 50s who have not had sex for several years because they will not lower their expectations. Unfortunately
this frustration finds other avenues for its outlet. As we know men are not so fussy; our criteria are generally, must have a pussy and can fog a mirror.

No submission of mine is complete without a horror story about encounters with western harridans and their aversion to Thailand. I still get comments about my menopausal hairdresser tale in a previous missive. The genesis of this latest story is a couple
of months ago. I was in the West Bromwich Albion club shop with my youngest son replenishing my stock of Albion shirts for my impending visit to Thailand. There is nothing so enchanting as seeing a Thai girl wearing nothing but an Albion shirt.
It was the end of season sale so I was buying the complete stock of “small youths size” which fit Thai girls to perfection. Two women of my age enter the shop and come up to us. The one J is the mother of my eldest son’s best
friend and I know her quite well. Her friend I do not know so well but my son describes her as an “opinionated neurotic screwball”.

J said she had heard from her son I was about to be made redundant again and was interested in my plans. I explained I had been approached for a job in Egypt. I was also intending to attend a couple of job interviews in Shanghai China, which I was hoping
to integrate into a trip to Thailand. Now I am always careful about using the T word in the company of menopausal women but I have known J for some years and she is quite sensible about such things. She did however inquire why I was buying shirts
in the small youths size. Not wishing to reveal my intentions, I explained I was buying one for my friend N and the other was for her son. This was not quite a lie but she could only see two shirts the others still being behind the sales counter.
Her friend B, who had purchased a shirt in a XL size, gave me what used to be called an “old fashioned look” but made no comment.

Progress a couple of months, a few days following my return from LOS I am in a bar with my eldest son and a group of his friends when J and B enter. They join us and J asks me about my job search. I remember the conversation very clearly. I explained
that I turned down the Egypt job and related how my pal let me down regarding the interviews in Shanghai so I so I had to spend an additional week in Thailand. However whilst in Pattaya checking my emails I received the offer of this job in East
Anglia.

The subsequent tirade I received from B was as vehement as it was unexpected, “Every time I see you, all you talk about is the sex you have with all these girls in Thailand!” “But I have not mentioned sex” I attempt to interject.
Undeterred she continues “The last time we saw you all you talked about was sex with Asian girls and in front of your son!” “You are disgusting and I find it really offensive”.

Because this assault was out of the blue and I consider unwarranted not only was I left speechless, her friend J also sat open mouthed and lost for words. What was clear to me was that she must have been thinking about this for a couple of months since
seeing me in the Club shop, slowly simmering her resentment and waiting for the first opportunity to assail me. Why she did it is beyond my comprehension.

The silence was broken when one of my son’s friends (a quite astute 19 year old, who clearly knew her very well) retorted, “B, why don’t you just buy a bigger vibrator instead of bringing your frustrations in here every Friday!”
I felt it expedient to make my escape at this point.

I generally avoid these confrontations but it is surprising the reactions one gets at the mention of the T word. When I am accused of being a sex tourist my stock answer is “No I am an affection tourist, I go there to get the attention, respect
and affection you women in the UK seem incapable and reluctant to give”. Then generally I quickly run away.

It will surprise my friends but last week I had a date with an English woman for the first time in 2 years. We met on the Internet, she found my missives to her highly amusing and agreed to meet. She was a little older than me but quite presentable and
she did go out of her way to be pleasant. The experience was fairly painless but she made it clear she did not fancy me. She did admit I was one of the most entertaining and amusing men she had met, but was looking for someone much taller and
considerably more handsome than me.

I was tempted to respond that I was looking for a woman half her weight without her head stuck up her arse but I have given up finding one in England. Fortunately my sense of self-preservation prevented me actually saying this.

So you chaps sitting in a bar in Cowboy, NEP or the Pong tonight irritated at paying 95 baht for a beer and out of sorts because you can not decide whether to barfine 26 year old Noy with the waist length silky black hair or little Da with the sweet bottom
and the cute smile, enjoy the moment and take comfort in what you are missing back in the west.

I will be with you in 149 days 12 hours and 16 minutes, not that I am counting the days of course.

Stickman's thoughts:

It is always interesting to read such tales about the women situation in the West. From readers anecdotes, it would seem to be something of a 50 / 50 split, half strongly against Western females, and the the half with little to complain about.