Readers' Submissions

Onward Part 2

  • Written by Kurt
  • March 17th, 2005
  • 4 min read


I wrote a while back of my situation with my Thai wife who left me high and dry in Los Angeles with two young daughters, a lost job, debt, etc., etc. I closed my tale by saying that I was employed again in Minnesota and working on getting the girls back with me after staying with my parents in Chicago out of economic necessity. I would like to thank all your readers who wrote comforting emails to me. I didn't answer all of them, but I sure do thank them all for the sentiments, advice and encouragement. Some of them had similar experiences.

My life is starting to turn around. I have the girls with me now. I moved into a 2 bedroom unit and before I brought the girls here I unexpectedly met a very kind and generous elderly Hispanic woman who wanted to sit with them while I'm at work for a very modest expense. Cheaper than day care services here and she's teaching them reading and some arithmetic. She's the mother of a woman neighbor and her family in my apartment complex and she adores the girls. I was very blessed by this turn of events. She's even teaching them some Spanish.

Last month I received a call from my parents telling me that my ex-wife's attorney called looking for me. I called the attorney and learned that my ex was ''uninvolved'' with anyone, that she had a job and a place to live in San Diego. She now wanted to see the girls and possibly get back together with the girls and me. Without me saying anything, the lawyer then said that my ex was prepared to challenge custody and gain child support through renewed court proceedings if I objected to her offer. I told him that I needed a day or two to consider this development and rang off.

The next morning I called the attorney who handled my divorce. I explained my situation and he asked me if I wanted to get back together with my ex. I said no. That was not an option. No more hurt. No more pain. He then advised me that she could get a supena for me to appear in a California court for a re-visit of custody. He said that this would take up my time and it would be costly. Also, if I lost a custody battle which he said I very likely could, that child support payments could amount to upwards of 30% or more of my gross income despite my present reduced circumstances. Fortunately, he said he would initiate a dialogue with my ex's attorney pro bono at first to ascertain how serious my ex was with this ''offer''. If she was serious, then he would have to start the clock and the cost would begin if I retained him or anyone else for that matter as my attorney.

After several days thinking about this development with the thoughts of my attorney on my mind, and while my girls played in the flat with me looking on them fondly and with love, I decided to risk it all. I called my attorney and told him to contact my ex's attorney and tell him that I would not contest custody. That I would escort the girls back to their mother and pay whatever child support the court demanded. And, that I was not interested in getting back with my ex. We were legally divorced and that's the way it would stay.

Several days passed without a word. I didn't sleep much but held firm to my decision. Although I wanted a drink of booze to calm the anxiety I didn't do it. I even explained to my boss the situation I was in and she was all behind me. She even told me that the company would support me during this drama and to take whatever time off I needed to get past this period.

Finally, the call came. My attorney said that my ex was returning to Thailand. She was 'hurt' by my decision but since I wasn't interested in getting back together she didn't want the 'burden' of raising two children alone. It was apparently all a bluff to get back together.

After I rang off, I sat back with my mind spinning around and around. I asked myself how all of this happened to me. I'm now only hopeful that this is the end of that woman. My attorney called a few days later to let me know that she had indeed departed the country but to not think that this matter is over. I thanked him, rang off and then hugged my girls.

When I told my boss the outcome of all of this, she asked me if I was interested in taking a three year assignment with a modest increase in salary in Bahrain with free housing and schooling. I'm thinking about it and will probably take it. It's warmer there in the winter.

Stickman's thoughts:

Fighting a Thai woman in a Western court would be a nightmare…