Good Korat Ladies
I must disagree with the esteemed Stick on one point, that is his fascination with middle-class Thais and their appropriateness as future mates. Well, not disagree exactly, as unlike Stick I am a long way from being a handsome young man. If I were then I would probably be in with a chance with middle-class Thai ladies. But I am not but that did not stop me trying, but more on that later.
I am a retired industrial worker from the Midlands (UK), 61 years of age and gone to seed mildly in most ways, though my mostly self-educated brain (how can the Thais stand no free libraries?) still ticks over nicely. My language skills almost non-existent which does not help. I have been coming to Thailand for a few years and moved here permanently about nine months ago. I sold everything in the UK (huge profit from my house, BTW), invested the money so I would have a monthly income for the rest of my life. Combine that with my pension, I have about 160,000 baht a month to play with, inflation linked!
If it was not for Penegra (Indian version of Viagra) I could probably live very happily on 25-30,000 baht a month! Fortunately, at least in retrospect, I had a few run-ins with b-gals that tore my heart out and left me down a big bit of cash; and I have now set things up so that it is impossible to lose all my money and quite happily fritter my monthly stipend away on girls, drink and courtship. Or I did until recently!
It all started to go wrong within three hours of getting off the plane in Bangkok. In a somewhat disturbed, jet-lagged state I found myself in an upstairs Patpong bar where a very young lady (19 it turned out but looked younger) almost gave me a heart attack whilst trying to administer some personal services in the darkened corner of the bar whilst other gals swung through the air on ropes! Bizarre to say the least.
Both appalled and excited at the same time I decided to save the 40kgs of pure heat and energy from a life of debauchery and possible terminal infection. Her English education limited to a collection of words murmured lovingly that was guaranteed to turn the heart of any first-timer. Just to get her out of the bar permanently cost me 50k, the mamasan repeatedly insisting she had a contract. Written in blood and tears no doubt. <Bollocks, absolute bollocks. This is just one big have….and the mamasan probably pocketed a big chunk – Stick>
As I can now appreciate, such foolish largesse defined me as a very stupid farang and in the month I lived with her, I must have blown another 100k on various demands, from the family et al. The upside, an excess of care, affection and wonderful sex. The dismal downside, waking up in the middle of night to find her doing a Thai guy on the sofa, he supposedly her brother.
Amazingly, I actually paid another 50k to end the relationship, the Thai guy saying he would cut the lady's face if I did not come up with the dosh. At the time, the money didn't matter, the huge insult to my manhood taking me close to a complete breakdown. A fast exit back to the UK.
Within six weeks I was back in Bangkok, haunting the bars of Nana Plaza, nothing for me in the depressing, damp UK climate. The next little lady was sexier still and insisted I took two Penagra every night. Two months before an old, rich boyfriend turned up and she tried to claim she had to visit sick relatives, etc. I had toughened up by then and was only down 3k a day – the minimum she would accept, she wanted 5k to begin with despite the long term nature of the relationship.
Back to the UK, total basket-case at the Bangkok airport and heard two old biddies talking about me conking out before I made it back. By old biddies I mean a couple of 40-ish British ladies – ugh! Not only the ladies can be bitchy.
Okay, no more b-gals I sternly told myself. I had had more sex in my time in Bangkok than in my entire life previously, and with girls who would be classed as models in the UK. Enter the internet and dating sites. Finally being a bit more realistic I limited myself to 35-45 year-olds who wanted to get married.
So six months later I finally feel ready to brave Bangkok again, armed with the contact numbers of three likely ladies, who I hoped would be sensible middle-class women who already had their lives sorted.
In the flesh, I only actually liked the look of one of these, so that solved making the choice. She had three daughters, all married off and the ex-husband had a new, much younger wife. Over a six month courtship, I found out she had another six farang on the go, sneaking off to see them when they turned up in Thailand (not retired like me so they could only do short holidays). The biggest laugh was the sex, she finished in about ten minutes and kept complaining for the next forty minutes it took me to finish – I am not boasting here, it's the Penagra! She was keen to marry and for me to sell up and move my money to Thailand. Hah!
By then, I had found Soi Cowboy and had a lot more fun with the short time sex at 1000 baht a time than I did with her. Incredibly, the old gal threw a total fit when I said I saw no future and told me her family would have me killed for breaking her heart. I ignored such taunts, changed apartment and never heard from her again. I am sure, now, that some farang would probably come to a nasty end if they did the same thing to a well connected middle-class lady!!!
I decided to carry on with the internet search whilst doing short-time to keep myself amused but the same old stuff kept repeating itself – at least with the b-gals if you give them a decent wedge they stick around (terrified someone else is going to steal their ATM) and give out some mind blowing sex. Like an idiot I ended up with a soi 33 lass and dropped about a half a million baht in six months. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Senile and lonely? Addicted more likely!
After that, not to be beaten, return to the UK, sell up, invest for monthly income, and return to the Kingdom rearing to go, Somewhere along the line, all the nice gals seemed to have disappeared from the bars and I am suddenly having sex with dead-eyed robots who can't wait to dash off to hand their hard won money over to their pimps. What do you expect you silly old fool, I kept telling myself, but rather than being elated now I feel rather dirty about it all.
So I start scanning the personals in some of the smaller English-language newspapers and see an ad for a personals site. Another dating site, thinks I, but it's says free so I try it. Amazingly it is free, short descriptions of the women with their emails, only a few ladies as it is a new site. A department store cleaner catches my eye, 40-ish but very small and cute, looking for someone to look after her.
Phone the number and can't understand her at all. Ask the receptionist at the apartment block to help (and turn down her offer of short-time, too dangerous) and it turns out I have to go to Nakorn Rachasima to see her. Where the hell is that? Go to Morchit 2, take bus for three hours. Easy – not, but I do it eventually after a few adventures with touts and taxi-drivers. End up in some industrialized city full of Japanese factories… and little Aor.
Aor had hardly any English, almost no education but one flash of a big smile that also burns out of her eyes and I am hooked! No bullshit here, her hands are so rough they would do a builder's navvy proud – and so hot she seems to burn herself into my soul. I have no kids but her two girls are so lovely that I include them in my immediate family without a second thought.
Have I gone mad? Well, it's only one week since making this apparent breakthrough and I have not had sex yet. Aor refuses to give up her 3000 baht a month job and I am expected to move to Korat, fair enough the kids can't be taken out of school on the whim of a farang. Their papa is thankfully dead (I have a dread of Thai men turning up), at least from my point of view. Conversation is via her dozen or two English words, hand gestures and Thai-English dictionaries – and, Stick will probably chortle at this – FUN!
I am amazed that Aor can feed, clothe and pay the rent on their room on her tiny income and she would probably freak out if she realised how much I have coming in. She says Thai men will not look at her, being small, dark skinned and with kids, and she does want the love of a good man back in her life. All sounds very reasonable and I will have to take things slowly and see if I luck out. Obviously, the buying power of farang pays a part in all this but I am finally feeling good about myself again – those b-gals have to be something like taking heroin for the first time, it totally ruins your head!
She must be serious, though, as she gave me her mobile and let me deal with the farang phoning her up (she is now thankfully off the site) – I always said it with a smile, though, sorry mate you are too late! And sorry Stick I have had more non-sexual affection, in just a week, from this little lady than all those high and mighty middle-class Thai bints put together.
Good luck with her. Why not write in again in a month or so and let us know how it has gone. I wonder if the hooks'll be in then?! That episode on the sofa made me chuckle…